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I'm Scared.... And I need help

HappendforaReason

By HappendforaReason
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HappendforaReason Honeycomb Member

HappendforaReason

Posted
Posted

I was just diagnosed with herpes 3 days ago, and I’m scared... I keep on asking myself why it happened to me, I didn't deserve this, I’m a good guy, Intelligent, young and have a promising future, I never did anything wrong to anyone, I have many friends and family that care, but I can't tell anyone I’m soo ashamed I’m too scared I don't want anyone to find out. I'm going through my first outbreak right now and I’m scarred I feel so alone right now. I'm reading everything possible to find out as much information as I can. I don't want to live my life alone I’m so scared that I won’t' be able to find someone that will understand... I'M SO SCARED I want this end... It's not going go to, I know... This is a life changing experience that I don’t want to be going through, I'm only 22 I have so much that I haven't expericend.... I realize you can't turn back the hands of time, I know this happened for a reason. The reason? I don't know the reason or reasons why... I will find out, I just don't know what to do until I find out those reasons.... I know that many you live your lives normally, and I’m going to open up and hope that some of you will be able to help me through this.... I want to be able to help others.... It just seems that bad things always happen to good people.... I'm sorry, I need to get strong and start changing things in my life... I really would love to start making new friends, so we can help each other though this.... I'm new i don't know many things but i want to help...

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MsLucy Platinum Support Member

MsLucy

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Angels's right, honey. Calm down. When you're first diagnosed, your whole world just seems to go into a tailspin, and you feel as if you have nothing solid to hold on to. It will pass. We've all been through exactly what you're going through now, even though you may feel as if you're the only one who's ever been so terrified or felt so alone. In a little while, things will start to equalize and you'll begin to feel more optimistic. I promise. Until then, don't put extra stress on yourself trying to figure out the why's and where-fors. That won't change anything. Instead, dedicate your energies to taking care of yourself, learning to accept this new factor of your life, and learning what you can do to help yourself control it and feel better.

I know it doesn't seem so now, but H is not the end of your life. It's a virus. That's all. Nothing more. At 22, you still have your whole life ahead of you, and what you make of it is completely up to you. Herpes will affect it as much or as little as you allow it to. So don't be scared. There's nothing to be afraid of. The reason we're all here is to support each other, share information, help each other through the tough times, and sometimes just to listen. I'm glad you found your way here. You're among friends.

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elena Honeycomb Member

elena

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You have come to the best place. At the site, you learn that you are not a bad person. You will learn to manage your outbreaks and feel better about yourself.

When I found out I had herpes, I cried for a week; depressed for 3 months, and then I found this website. Now, I feel much better. Come to this site as ofen as you can, and hang in there

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Alana Newbie

Alana

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understanding!

Well....I'm new to this site...actually this is my first post so if i screw up, i apologize. i relate to you and the others in so many ways. i've actually had H for nearly 8 years. sometimes things are ok...sometimes things appear hopless but in all actuality...they aren't. just hang in there. like mentioned in previous entries....it DOES NOT change who YOU are by any means. you can still live a full life you just have something that you have to overcome. and i agree with you also....bad things happen to good people and not everyone is understanding. you're not alone...i'm hoping this site helps me and you both!

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HappendforaReason Honeycomb Member

HappendforaReason

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Thank you

I wanted to thank those of you who posted back, i really need some help. I decided to tell my parents, and they are very supportive right now. They are actuallly bending over backwards to see if there is anything that they can do for me... Well of course there is nothing they can do for me except for being as supportive as they have been for me.I'm glad that i was able to get off my chest and let someone know, i feel the support from them and it doesn't seem like i'm hiding anything anymore. Once again i really appericate those who posted back and making me like i have someone there for me.

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washington2000 Honeycomb Member

washington2000

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Hi there

Hi there, I m new to this but I have to say that I m really happy to have found this forum. I caught herpes when I was 15, my boyfriend cheated on me...all I can say is that it was a huge shock. I didn't even realize that it was that untill my second outbreak last year. I just wanted to say that I know that you get scared and it feels as if the world is falling apart but it really isn't that bad. You learn to get over it and there is no reason that you can't have a great relationship with herpes. Anyway It feels really good to have found this forum and to be able to share experiences.

Thanks to you all!

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    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
    • FeelingLost75
      Tell me your symptoms

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      GHSV1 has be going crazy

      By TS4real · Posted

      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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