What a Monday...

[justagirl]

Um... wow I don't really know where to start.

My former partner broke up with me 3 weeks ago, and I got a phone call Monday morning saying HSV 2 showed up in my bloodstream & pap smear. I still haven't seen any sign of an outbreak (at least nothing I've read about on any of the places I've looked) and I'm a tad paranoid anyway so I keep a lookout for anything that strikes me as abnormal with myself.

Ten minutes after I got off the phone with my doctor I had to call an ex-boyfriend I was working things out with and tell him so that he could go get tested.

So I've spent the past three days feeling disgusting, alone, and generally hating myself. The person that gave it to me has known... I think you see where this is going.

That's it, I think. I'm busy letting stigmas about people with genital herpes rip me up inside and it's really depressing.

[MsLucy]

Everybody who is diagnosed with herpes, genital herpes in particular, goes through the 'stigma' thing. That feeling of ohmygodeverybody'sgoingtothinkI'mawhore!!! hits you hard and fast, and I believe it's even worse for women than men. The ironic thing is, almost all the people who look down on people who contract herpes are doing the exact same thing (having sex), they just haven't been caught yet, or they've even got it, too and just don't know it. A good number of them are just obliviously falling into bed with other unsuspecting victims and passing it around.

The stigma is rediculous. There's no other word for it, especially when you consider that the majority of the population of the US is carrying herpes around in their systems. Only those ignorant of the facts and statistics of the virus can possibly hang on to the concept of herpes being a lowlife disease, and honey, do you really care what they think? I sure hope not.

When you're first diagnosed, it's hard, I know, but it will get easier, and as you learn more about the virus and how to deal with it, these feeling of disgust and shame will subside. Concentrate on all the things you liked about yourself before. Make a list of all the good things about yourself and you'll see that all those attributes are still there. Herpes doesn't change that. If anything, it makes us a little more understanding and forgiving of the shortcomings in others, and that's a good thing. Add that to your list.

Good luck. Glad you found your way here. It's a good place to ask questions, find support, or just sound off when you have the need. Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

[justagirl]

Let's see here... got a call from the doctor. Apparently the blood test my healthcare is willing to pay for is not type-specific. That made me breath a sigh of relief, but then they continued.

The abdominal smeary-thing (it's not a pap, and I can't remember the word right now) shows simplex 2. So I have it, it just appears I only carry an internal outbreak. Does this just make me a carrier, or is it just that my outbreaks have not spread externally?

I'm still waiting to hear back from the person I may have spread it to with my fingers crossed. This sucks, he's angry and hurt and frankly I don't blame him.

*might be too much information* He & I had unprotected sex while I was on my period. Does this increase the chance of him getting it, or is the fact it was unprotected the only issue here?

[anonymous42]

Just a girl.....

Sorry to hear your situation...

I have also been infected unfortunately and it has had quite a disasterous mental effect on me...

I may have contracted HSV2 from a girl I was seeing... (I believe it was her)

It almost feels like my life is ending... This just sucks, I suppose I will have to find someone else with HSV2.

I have tried Tea Tree Oil, Garlic, Astragalus, and Self Heal (i hope it is self heal aka Prunella Vulgaris) If anyone knows where to find Prunella Vulgaris for cheap, please let me know.

I knee jerk ordered DMSO, then i read all the bullshit that goes with it; it seems like DMSO can seriously damage/injure a person...

(I am not going to use it)

I suppose I just need to pray to God everyday that everything is going to be okay. I also have a daughter and I hope to God that I do not somehow spread it to her through contact....

I know my part in all this (my promiscuity)

God help us all.

Sincerely,

Disheartened

[justagirl]

I think part of why this is hurting me is the person I was seeing has had it... for almost 10 years. And yet I wasn't worth informing about this while he now tries to tell me he loves me and it's "not a big deal".

I don't want to sound mean, but this is a HUGE FREAKING DEAL!

I've done so much research in the past few days and I think I may just have to accept the fact that I could potentially decrease the number of outbreaks I will always be able to pass this on to someone else. I've started taking Lysine, though I'm a bit conflicted on the idea of taking pills for protein. I'm a vegetarian, which means a lot of the advice I've been given about my diet I am not willing to consider.

[thiscantbe]

OMG...

justagirl... I would be so incredibly mad at the person who so cavalierly infected you... it makes me so mad for you just reading that. What a scumbag.

Although hopefully you will get lucky with your OBs, getting the H diagnosis is a big deal for almost everyone. Even if you look at it as a relatively minor infection, the knowledge that you will always have some risk of being contagious is a lot to deal with. Plus, as you mention, there is the stigma, which after a while you realize is so very unfair.

The first couple of weeks after getting diagnosed was the worst for me... but reading lots of posts here on the forums really changed my preconceived idea of what kind of people are infected with herpes. I feel I am actually in pretty good company!

[justagirl]

Somewhere I read that most people have outbreaks within 10 days of infection. From what my gyno's told me it seems the outbreaks have remained inside my vagina instead of externally.

For me, the fact that I'm so young (21. whee.) really plays into my concerns about ever dating. This is not a kind age, not really that much different from high school as far as stigma's are concerned.

Then again the guy that gave it to me is in his mid-30's and wasn't able to be up-front with me.

And of course, the man I may have potentially passed it to is far closer to me in age and probably carries the same kind of mentality about H as most people. Not a good feeling.