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Monsterella

Passed my cold sores to my daughter

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Monsterella

Hi all. New to the boards so I apologize if I've posted this in the wrong section.

I get cold sores and have for as long as I can remember. I thought I was super careful not to pass it onto anyone else but alas, my 5yo daughter has it. And the sores are hideous. They are on the space between her top lip and her nose, and underneath her bottom lip and spreading to all over her chin.

I've been using abreva and Zovirax to treat with damp cloths to soothe. She says it doesn't hurt but she's not good at taking care of it. She's only 5. Today, the school called me and said her sores were bleeding from the cold weather so they put some Vaseline on her to keep it from cracking.

2 questions:

1- how do I get over this incredible amount of guilt that has washed over me? I cannot believe I did this to my little baby (my husband does not get them).

2- any tips on how to teach her to be extra careful in caring for it and not to spread it to others? I can tell her 100 times to wash her hands before and after everything, and to put this cream on after eating/before going out for recess but what she actually does is beyond my control.

Thanks in advance everyone.

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VVK

First, how do you know that they are cold sores? Have they been diagnosed via swab or blood test? There are bacterial infections that might look like cold sores and children often get these. Get your daughter properly diagnosed. If it is a bacterial infection, which it probably will be in any case as a secondary if not a primary infection, then she may benefit from treatment that would clear it right up.

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thissucks31

How did you pass them? Obviously accidentally, but did she grab you glass, was it during the shedding cycle... this is my biggest fear... I also say that if withe rod my kids got them I'd probably kill myself because I couldn't live with that... and I've been laying here thinking about it all night... the fear... I'm scared..

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scareface547

My 3 yr old has them, its hard to deal.. Suicide equals eternal hell and more stress and heartache for loved ones.. He will need me to talk educate and comfort him throughout the years.. I keep telling myself there are millions of diseases, viruses, health problems in infants and kids. My son is healthy and happy and this is only a cosmetic and mental virus. It is just not accepted by society which makes shit tough for all of us here. I hope by the time my boy is my age they have a cure or completely figured this stuff out.

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Monsterella
First, how do you know that they are cold sores? Have they been diagnosed via swab or blood test?

It confirmed by a doctor.

Perhaps she didn't get it from me. But I'm the only one in the family who gets them and I think she grabbed a tainted Chapstick and used it.

Thanks for the perspective. At least it's not the measles. She's otherwise healthy as a horse. I feel a little better but still pretty guilty.

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VVK

The fact that it was confirmed by a doctor doesn't mean it is a correct confirmation.

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Monsterella

Thanks for the warm welcome, Mod. I didn't realize I needed to prove the diagnosis in order to seek support.

As if I already don't feel crappy as it is.

I won't post here again. Sorry to intrude.

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Acesheart
Thanks for the warm welcome, Mod. I didn't realize I needed to prove the diagnosis in order to seek support.

As if I already don't feel crappy as it is.

I won't post here again. Sorry to intrude.

Hey Monsterella, sweety he didn't mean it like I assume you took it. If your baby girl around any children of any ages or older friends (they could get oral cold sores but NOT showing signs) she most certainly could have picked it up from anyone. Yes, doctors are human and do make mistakes! My doctor (1 of 22 over 28 yrs now) actually diagnosed me as Cured, imagine my surprise as I was in my 2nd outbreak ever!! 90 pills of Xanax and no words, he left the office and building after he realized how he screwed up big time.

VVK, was just trying to convey that I believe, he certainly didn't mean to insult you. He has helped me and many others, he is very kind.

Please feel free to post here or message me, I also have a daughter, I'm like you, I worry as a mother. Hugs Aces xo

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VVK

Yeah that's definitely not a response that I was expecting.. I guess I'll be more descriptive moving forward? It's not about proving a diagnosis and regardless it shouldn't affect your ability to seek and get support. I was simply pointing out that doctors do make mistakes and they can lead to needless suffering because we often assume doctors are faultless. That was why I pointed out alternative causes for your daughter's condition in Post #2..

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KiaOra

Hey there, I hope you are still on this board as it is a great source of support. I am a mother too - of three young boys - and I worry all the time about passing on the virus. Two years ago one of my sons broke out into what looked like blisters near his lip. I was freaking out. I took him to the doctor who felt confident that it was herpes. But she swabbed it and sent it away for testing to be sure. The test came back negative! It was impetigo. So, as the others have said, doctors can be wrong.

However, assuming it is herpes, what to do going forward. I know this is all easier said than done, but: 1) I think you do have to keep in mind the enormous probability that if your daughter didn't get it from you she would have gotten it from someone else. 2) Also keep in mind that since she is so young her body will start building antibodies right away so that over time hopefully she will have fewer and fewer outbreaks (or none which does happen). 3) I have a five year old and he somewhat understands the importance of hand washing but I do have to keep at him to do it. So keep at it, it will be worth it.

Hand in there. As a mother you mean the world to her. Think of all the things you give her and do for her. At 5 her love is pretty much unconditional.

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herbafly7000

Monsterella, I'm so sorry that you and your family are affected by this. It is very stressful and I empathize. My fiancée gets cold sores and I worry myself sick trying to make sure he doesn't pass it to our 5 yr old. It is very scary and stressful. I do hope you all find the support you need. I hope you find comfort in knowing you are not alone.

To others who have posted, this is not merely a cosmetic virus. HSV1 infections can cause major complications, especially in children. Please educate yourself as much as possible. My heart goes out to all those both directly and indirectly affected.

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