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I just found out 2 days ago


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I went in to see my doctor on Wednesday so he could review lab tests he had advised for me. It was a shocker when he told me that I had tested positive for both Herpes 1 and Herpes 2. I did not have any herpes symptoms at all! I just thought it was a yeast infection. It was so surreal. I felt nothing sitting there in front of him while he explained how I could have possibly been exposed to it. It finally hit me when I left the clinic. I started stressing.

I started to have a strong discharge oder and itching last year around November. I checked out the symptoms online and it was close to a yeast infection. I went to have a pap done and they found bacteria. They didn't give me much information. They just perscribed me some medication and had me go on my merry way. The medication helped for a while but the symptoms came back. So I decided to go to a new doctor, the one I have now. He treated me for a yeast infection and had me take some lab testing for STD's. My pap came back as abnormal, which I will have to go back to repap. My test results came back, and I went in on Wednesday to go over them with my doctor. He didn't give me much information because I am to see him next week after some more lab testing unrelated to my Herpes diagnosis.

Since the beginning of this year I have only been sexually active with one guy. I wanted to talk to him face to face and tell him. It's a very sensitive subject for me because I don't know how to deal with the news that I have herpes. How am I supposed to tell this to him? What do I say? He wanted me to do it over the phone and I just couldn't. I ended up telling him that I wanted more than just sex with him. He obviously didn't want to committ to me and hung up the phone. I have not been able to get a hold of him since.

So I am left here wondering if I got it from him or not? I have had 3 other partners before him, but my symptoms of vaginal itching and a strong discharge oder did not occur until after I have been sexually active with him. I just have all these questions for him that won't be answered. That just makes it harder for me to deal with.

I cried for the past two days. How do I move on from this? How do I go on? It's like the end of the world to me. I hurt so much inside that I can't take it anymore. I feel mad, sad, hurt, and alone all at the same time. I don't know what to do anymore. How can I tell my family without them criticizing me? I just don't need that right now. How do I tell this to my someone in the future?

I feel like I'm in a dream and I want to wake up now.

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I just have all these questions for him that won't be answered. That just makes it harder for me to deal with.

I cried for the past two days. How do I move on from this? How do I go on? It's like the end of the world to me. I hurt so much inside that I can't take it anymore. I feel mad, sad, hurt, and alone all at the same time. I don't know what to do anymore. How can I tell my family without them criticizing me? I just don't need that right now. How do I tell this to my someone in the future?

Hi sKareD,

I'm a newbie at this too. I've contacted the 2 women I most likely could have gotten it from. I'm not mad and tried to approach it in a supportive and concerned way. One has been really great throughout and her tests (so far and hopefully forever) have been negative. The other cannot believe it was her, regardless of any real scientific possibility. She is not in the country right now and she won't respond to my emails asking about how she's doing.

I guess the bottom line is that it seems people will react differently - unfortunately, your ex isn't handling it well. The other lesson may be that you do what you can to advise / warn / caution them and if they don't listen, there's not much you can do beyond a certain point. The simple fact is that we're in this club now and it probably doesn't matter HOW we got it, just that we do. I guess you can try a couple of more times to get the message across or your questions answered, then move on and take care of you now.

As far as the family goes, that seems to be a tough one. This board has been my "friend" over the past few sleepless nights. I won't tell my family until I have more information and after more experience. I figure I will go through more OB's or maybe 1 year before I even tell my brother. I have one great friend who has guided me and listened to my struggles. So, yeah, it seems to be a lonely time right now.

I'm in Cali too. PM if you need to talk or just vent. I think the people on this board are pretty dang supportive and I think this needs to be our support network for awhile. At least until we learn to cope / accept our condition and ourselves again.

Dating again seems a long way off. But for now, I take comfort in the idea that there are success stories on this site. I just read their accounts and hope for a brighter future.

Hang in there - you're not alone!!

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about me

Well I have no hsv at all. I met a girl I really liked her and on our 3rd date she told me she had hsv2 I was kinda upset inside kinda like why could this happen to such a beautiful girl.. not really upset at her I did alot of research and found out that herpes is really quite harmless to healthy people.

I'm not afraid to have sex with her anymore and we plan to go fully unprotected if I get it I will have to take meds like we all do but as long as I know me and my beloved girlfriend are happy together thats all I care about. It won't affect children or anything else in life. Giving up a person you love cause of herpes is foolish and something you will prolly regret least I would:)

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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