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1PetiteLady

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1PetiteLady

I had been dating a man (exclusively) for 11 years. He did not tell me that he had Herpes when we met. He was avoiding having sex sometimes, just wanting to cuddle. He eventually told me years into the relationship. Well, I showed the symptoms after having sex when he was recovering from an outbreak. I did not have any STD before being with him, so I felt that no other man would love me. He had commitment issues, so I ended that relationship, now with a lifetime STD. That is how Genital Herpes/Cold Sores on my face has became a part of my life. I have found it difficult to date a man, because of my concern for him and fear of rejection. I am told it is not that big of a deal, but it sure seems like it is. I have checked into the herpes dating sites, not finding very many people there. I am trying to find a local support group, to meet new people and maybe a nice man with the same STD as me. After researching both options, I am no closer to finding either. I am a strong woman, been through a lot in my life, but this is hard to deal with.

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SheIsBlue

Hey 1PetiteLady, welcome to the site. I agree, having herpes does add to the already difficult act of dating. However, you seem like a beautiful, smart, and friendly person who someone would love to connect with. Just keep putting yourself out there and you will meet someone eventually. I know it's hard, but it often takes a long time to find "that someone". In the meantime, do what makes you happy and smile b/c you never know who you are going to meet.(:

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Acesheart

Absolutely I fully agree :) with SheisBlue. Dating is hard with or without herpes. Staying social and dating (no sex involved) just movies, dinners (gentleman always pay) or picnics or coffee. Can't catch the right one if you don't put your pole in the pool ;) ! Hugs Aces xo

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VVK
I have checked into the herpes dating sites, not finding very many people there. I am trying to find a local support group, to meet new people and maybe a nice man with the same STD as me. After researching both options, I am no closer to finding either. I am a strong woman, been through a lot in my life, but this is hard to deal with.

I'm of the same opinion as SheisBlue and Aces.. but I will add: Don't limit yourself to dating partners that know that they have HSV. Many people out there are not even aware that they have the virus and others don't know about it but would be okay with having a HSV+ partner. It's hard enough as it is finding the right person. That person might be HSV- and could completely love you if only he could meet you.

What type of HSV do you have, as determined by blood test? HSV 1 or 2?

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Acesheart

Exactly, my husband of almost 25 years is a Muggle, means non-herps man :) . Even back then many didn't know exactly what herpes was, so we just lived and had no time to dwell on herpes.

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1PetiteLady
I'm of the same opinion as SheisBlue and Aces.. but I will add: Don't limit yourself to dating partners that know that they have HSV. Many people out there are not even aware that they have the virus and others don't know about it but would be okay with having a HSV+ partner. It's hard enough as it is finding the right person. That person might be HSV- and could completely love you if only he could meet you.

What type of HSV do you have, as determined by blood test? HSV 1 or 2?

I had a blood test done, results were positive for HSV1 and HSV2. Thank you for the words of support, I really appreciate it. :)

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    • viralfrog
      I'm 99% confident that these are caused by Herpes. This is what they looked like when I first caught the virus, and in the same spots as well, although now much milder and smaller in size.  I have tested positive via swab when I first got the virus, and two times via blood test. However, since several people here are doubting my symptoms are caused by HSV, I might do another swab just to be sure. It's still good to rule anything else out beforehand. 
    • Nicki0605
      And btw  @ayekayelle I’m sorry you’re considering divorce. I hope you are able to work it out with him. But if you’re not happy I think it’s worth taking the risk of leaving! You deserve to be happy!
    • Nicki0605
      Ikr! I’ll have guys be like “oh yeah you’re right, you’re not gross or less valuable but it is a deal breaker” I don’t really blame them (because I am still coming to terms with it being “not a big deal”) 
    • G77
    • Quest
      It's very possible he or you were mostly a carrier. Neither one of you have to have sores all you have to do is shed.
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