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Fairytale gone wrong. New at this

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Oh my, where do I even start? The last week of my life could be a movie. It has hit every genre from fairytale romance to drama and dispare. I'm still on the dispare part currently but I'm hoping this movie of mine will end soon and on a lighter note? We'll see. Meanwhile, a very scared and confused me is here to tell my story.

Let's bring this back to a few months ago:

I had been great friends with a guy I met back in May. He lives states away but we've kept in touch. Filling each other in on everything going on in our lives including our own separate dating details. There has always been a sexual chemistry between us but we could never act on it because of the distance. I started to realize we had mutual feelings for each other in October. I went to see him with friends for a short weekend in November and we had sex twice. Once protected once unprotected. The weekend was magical, I thought we had something great and I was excited. I flew back across the country and a few weeks later realized that we had each gone back to our separate lives. We liked each other but long distance relationships have burned us both in the past and fear of ruining things between us with trying an LDR was overwhelming enough to keep us from trying. We still stayed in touch and although I was going on dates with others I never went beyond kissing because my heart was still with mr. Across the country. We decided we needed to see each other again. We split the cost of my flight and booked a trip for the end of February. We were both so excited and the days dragged until I got on that plane. He just so happens to live in a warm paradise-like location which could not be more opposite of where I am from, cold frigid tundra. The week started out with a bang, literally. We went for drinks with friends and then there was a whole lot of sex. The next morning and then the next day, and night. Okay, okay, you get the picture. The rest of the week we basically fell in love. Beaches, sunsets, dinner dates, meeting his family, friends and so on. We realized how great we were together and feelings were at an all time high. I don't know how to put it into words and I hate using the word 'perfect' but these days with him were pretty darn close. Alright, enough of the gushy love stuff. I hadn't had sex for a few months and I was incredibly sore. The next few days though I started to notice the pain wasn't going away, it was actually getting worse. I couldn't even have sex anymore mid week, it was so sore and tender. The last day or two I noticed pain with urination and an increase in discharge. I went online, made an evisit with my doctor and got prescribed a pill for yeast infection that would be ready to be picked up as soon as my plane landed. Perfect, problem solved. We said our sad goodbyes and mentioned trying to make a long distance relationship work. After a long uncomfortable plane ride back to the tundra my first stop was the pharmacy. The next day (Saturday)... Things continued to get worse. the pain was unbearable. Each time I peed, I cried. Oh and walking...man oh man, walking was nearly impossible. I felt feverish and crummy. I scheduled an appointment for my primary doctor right away on Monday morning. I got through Saturday. But Sunday, holy shit. I couldn't stand it, I drove myself to the urgent care in tears and I was so desperate for answers. What was going on down there? The doc couldn't even put the newborn speculum in because I was screaming out in pain (so mortifying, but I couldn't help it) he noticed a bump but said it looked like a pimple and diagnosed me with cellulitis that he suspected I got from a Brazilian wax I had before my trip. Bacterial/yeast infections were negative. He swabbed for c/g std's.He gave me a shot of rocephin in the thigh and gave me some antibiotics and thank goodness he gave me Percocet as well.

Nope nope nope. My gut was telling me no, this wasn't it. It wasn't right. I did hours of research and every single sign lead to herpes and he didn't even test for it! Crap. The next day (Monday) I was immobile and in pieces. My mom had to come over and help get me up and into the car for the doctor. Not only was I in pain but I also was having flu like sypmtoms (headache, fatigue, body aches, swollen lymph nodes). I went in and they did more cultures. Even the qtips down there were causing me incredible pain. They drew blood for hs1-2 and switched my antibiotics. The new antibiotics made me feel nauseated and terrible. Again, the doc did not suspect it was herpes and claimed she didn't see anything. Again, I didn't believe that and FINALLY scheduled an appointment with an obgyn. Not going to an obgyn in the first place was my biggest error in this entire process. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms please learn from my mistake and go to a specialist who deals with this area daily. Next day I go to the obgyn. The antibiotics aren't doing squat and pain is still miserable. the obgyn got one look and said, "honey, you were right. I'm so sorry but this is herpes, no question about it" I sunk about 30 feet into that half bed thing and stared into that shitty fluorescent light on the ceiling. I heard her say "I'm so sorry" and that's when the tears started. Even though I had already known the last two-three days it was different actually hearing the diagnosis. I gathered myself and asked every single question I could think of at that moment. I was prescribled an antiviral and more Percocet. This was yesterday. Today I got the blood work back and I am positive for HS2, neg for Hs1. In some ways I am relieved to finally know what it is exactly after 3 appointments, but this was always considered "worst case scenario". I'm still trying to grasp the reality of this situation and how it's going to change my life. I don't think I'll be able to focus on much though until this first breakout is over with. I'm so scared it will last up to 4 weeks like what I've read. How long did yours last? And when did you get a second outbreak? I've missed two days of work already and I'm not even close to being healed. I'm looking for support, for answers...for anything really. I've never done one of these online forums before but reading some posts have helped more than any medication so far. I'm also terrified of healing from the first OB and getting another one back to back. Im reading mixed reviews about home remedies and diet changes. Any suggestions?

As for the guy:

I've been keeping him up to date each day and his support has been incredible. We have discussed that blame and anger aren't worth it and that we're in this together and equally responsible. He may have given it to me I may have given it to him. Neither of us have ever had symptoms and so on, the possibilities of how and where it came from are endless unfortunately. I'm learning that the unknowns and variances in this condition are the most unsettling part. He has an appointment to get tested this week so we'll see. It makes me nervous not knowning his results, I hope it's not a game changer. it's been quite the week and a half for him and I. Such a roller coaster but so far it seems that he's still buckled up next to me despite the situation. He dropped the "L" word yesterday. he said he was planning to say it the week I was out there but after my courage and honesty throughout this situation he was even more sure and couldn't wait until the next time we see each other in person....is there a silver lining to herpes here? Can it bring people together? So much going on I want to hide under my bed, cry and eat thin mints until I pass out.


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Hey Dolly welcome sweetheart :) . Yes, I believe there is a rainbow after this storm. I had a 4month married to my bestie of 5 yrs who cheated and we divorced. Some fairytale right ;) .

But now I'm married to my best friend for almost 25 years and I have Ghsv2 and he is still negative for my herpes.

It was my blessing my herpes, I was told with first marriage I'd never have babies, ha we showed them :) .

I've had 28 yrs to come to terms with this, stayed dormant 23yrs after first outbreak, only had two EVER.

We can and do make our own destiny. We chose who and how to live and love.

Many worst things in life then this sweetheart, like Menopause it's where I'm at now, but I'm still blessed and I know I'm lucky to have gotten herpes and Only herpes, from that first husband (2nd partner ever)!

You and this guy can be support for each other, love for each and in today's society (no one knows their own sexual health status) having BOTH of you with herpes are the safest partners to be with.

It has never interfered with our sexy times or oral pleasures, and we married for Happily Ever After :) so far we are living that reality.

Many things in this world can get you down, depress you, but it's you who lives in your shoes. You who chooses is today good or not so good.

Just relax and enjoy this wonderful guy and one-day you two will be same state in heart and location. Hugs Aces xo

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Great story ...make it I to a movie lol jk cogrants on your relationship.. Sorry about your herpes case.. But if everything comes out right ..he should be positive for h2.. Thats going to tell you how honest the man is ...the question is did he know or not ..u might never find that answer but if you luv him.. Or like him.. Don't ruin the relationship pointing fingers ...just be yourself and be careful with sex..educated yourself ...I wish nothing but luck ...and hopefully the lond distance becomes a short distance ..from experience it help relationship.. Plus it seems he lives in Florida or California does are nice states ..with beautiful weather ...

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Has he been tested yet? I know its hard to determine if he has never showed symptoms, but a blood test could possibly detect it. Also, if your symptoms started two weeks after being with him, it was most likely him, because that is the incubation time.

Other than that, you are both right. Leave hate and anger at the door. Sounds like he's still interested in you and i think you should explore that :)

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • viralfrog
      I would not be the first one, plenty of others here on the forum who get recurrent OBs despite heavy doses of antivirals. The blisters appear exactly in/around the spot where I had my first OB 4 years ago, plus all the symptoms I have are those commonly described as HSV-2 symptoms. In my opinion, it's a clear case.  But your suggestion is definitely an option that should not be ruled out. I'll wait until I get a bad enough OB again so I can go get another swab test. The outbreak needs to be bad enough to be able to break the blisters to get the liquid from inside right? I recall hearing something like this when I got tested years ago. The doctor used a swab that had tiny needles on it that would pop the blisters open. Do you know if this is right, i.e. you will not get a positive swab just from a mild OB / redness? 
    • jreemi
      90% elimination of the latent virus in thr ganglia probably will be a functional cure. Sure the small remaining amount can reactivate, but thete is a viral load threshhold for transmission. More than likely that won't be enough to cause transmission, or enough shedding for transmission. Damage enough of the latent virus and we are good to go. There is already a Crispr trial on humans going on right now https://newatlas.com/crispr-trial-underway-vertex-gene-therapy/58643/ So we are just waiting on Keith Jerome's lab and Excision Biotherapeutics to begin their trials. I've beem following Crispr for years now, and it keeps gettimg more accurate. I believe researchers at Duke have recently made a big breakthrough on accuracy, by changing the level of regulation instead of cutting DNA. I wonder if these labs collaborate with others such as Jerome's?
    • WilsoInAus
      No need to be tired at all, I'm sorry of you cannot accept the facts surrounding testing, but here they are. Your note is full of inaccuracies so let's iron those out. I don't need you to believe anything, I am just putting the facts out there. Here's a few studies: https://jcm.asm.org/content/37/5/1632 Here we have 29 patients with recent HSV-2 infection... 100% turned positive, 0% false negatives. https://jcm.asm.org/content/36/3/845/figures-only Here we have over 1,000 positive samples from people who have swabbed positive and compared to three different blood tests - over 95% accurate. https://jcm.asm.org/content/26/4/662?ijkey=9ebe349f98ed94f019ed788604c8fa19864a2c7e&keytype2=tf_ipsecsha Here we have 76 people who swabbed positive, the Westernblot detected 99% and an immunoblot 96%. Can you elaborate what is vague about these items of research. I'm sure now you'll want to review the references to these papers where you'll find even more. Some of them are in easy text for the beginner. So you stand corrected, it is in fact your comments that are spreading misinformation. That is not tolerated on this website. Also what nonsense that people do not get lesions to swab upon infection? Where did you read that? Hello Dolly? I'm afraid it is back to the books for you to do some more research before having such a rambunctious spew like above. STOP IT - we are all tired of your unsubstantiated drivel. This is 2019 we want something tangible, something real, something sound and wholesome and not drooling rants equal of the park bench antics of the drunks at 2am Sunday morning! I will NEVER stop because no matter how immature, how bombastic, how fantastic, how inaccurate, how frivolous, how false the spew that ends up on this website - the TRUTH will always be the light, the love, the guidance, the deliverance and the justice... no matter how many capitalised swear words are thrown!
    • Talx2520
      I took an IgG blood test 6 months after the episode. HSV-2 was negative (less than .91) and HSV-1 was high at 3.18
    • RainyDay2
      My comment was about THE BLOOD TEST!  You’re 95-100% accuracy for it?  Garbage.  Pure garbage.  You might as well have pulled that number out of your ass. Google search HIV accuracy... almost every medical site will tell you 4th generation HIV testing is as close to 99.9% percent you can possibly get after a certain period of elapsed time.  They will pretty much GUARANTEE you that you are indeed negative if you have a negative test. That defined certainty of accuracy WILL NOT AND CAN NOT be found for HSV blood tests.  You get vague descriptions of it’s accuracy from almost every site you visit.  NO CERTAINTIES.  Thousands of us on these forums KNOW the test isn’t accurate. When your score is between 1.1 and 3.5, this could be a false positive.  Certain sites list almost 1 in 2 tests can be false positives.  50 fucking percent!! And you want me to believe the test is 95-100% accurate? How come so many sites also seem to dance around the possibility of false negatives?   All that isn’t necessary in HIV testing.  Because if YOU DO get a low positive, the confirmatory HIV test checks for the actual VIRUS in your system.   And there are almost NO FALSE NEGATIVES.    NO HSV BLOOD TEST CAN DO THAT! Not even the Western Blot.  At the end of the day, it’s just a more detailed look at antibodies.  And many sites will tell you a “small” number of people may never develop. How small are we talking???? That can be any number.   Trash. And again, a large margin of people with herpes DO NOT GET LESIONS to be swabbed.  Google tells you that.  If majority of herpes infected have nothing to swab,  well that pretty much makes PCRs and cultures worthless for the most part doesn’t it?  If there is nothing to swab after a year, in your words, you are clear of herpes. BULLSHIT! So Wilso, just stop it.  You have never done scientific testing in a lab yourself on herpes. You are not a doctor.  You are constantly telling people false information.  Assuring them of promises you have no authority to make.  I’ve seen you do it time and time again.  Do you have regrets???????????  Im tired of your lies.  
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