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HSVRookie

New to this -- Need someone to talk me down

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HSVRookie

Hey everyone!

I was just diagnosed with HSV-2 and am a handling it okay i guess. The last few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions, varying from "everything is the same as it was before" to "this is the worst thing to happen to me." I know in my heart that reality is much closer to the former than the latter but I still need someplace to talk about everything and ask the questions that I need to ask in order for the healing process to begin. With that in mind, I'd like to share my story and any questions that may come up as I go. I am about halfway through writing this realized that this is going to be long, so thank you for reading.

My story begins about a month ago with my girlfriend of eight months (then seven.) We were having sex but stopped due to her having discomfort. We then noticed a discharge and she immediately made an Dr. appointment. Her usual gyno didn't have any openings so she went to one of his colleagues instead who told her that she had a yeast infection and gave her an antifungal cream. Her symptoms got worse, which we both attributed to the cream (which listed irritation as a side effect.) She finished taking her medication and the day after we had sex again.

Within a day, I began getting irritation as well, but it did not seem herpatic. My father, who is an infectious disease expert (specialized in a close relative of HSV) looked at it and much to my relief said it looked more like an allergic reaction than any STI he had encountered. It subsided within a few days, however just before completely healing came back. Alarmingly, this time the irritated regions were raised. This prompted an immediate Dr. appointment of my own. I was frightened beyond belief.

Luckily, I was able to get an appointment at the clinic the same day as my symptoms reappeared. By the time I was in the waiting room, the bumps had begun to ulcerate. After taking my baseline vitals, I was instructed to wait in the room for the doctor. I sat there for nearly an hour waiting and during that time I could practically see the sores progressing. The doctor came in, two medical students in tow, and after one glance at me said "Do you see that indentation? That means its viral." He then left the room. My mind racing a mile a minute, I was left in excruciating agony for the next forty minutes while I waited for him to return and give me the diagnosis that I had already just figured out on my own. It was terrible. What I took from it is that it is probably better to be a good clinician with good bedside manner than an exceptional one with poor manner (having just entered into a graduate program with an eye towards infectious disease myself.)

I drove to my girlfriend and broke the news to her, urging that she get checked. She turned up positive for HSV-2 as well. Apparently her "yeast infection" was really a primary HSV-2 outbreak. We are now both on antiviral drugs. I've always had trust issues with women (dating back to several sour relationships) and just a week before my diagnosis had even been telling a friend that I needed to get over them because I didn't want to ruin things with my current girlfriend. That being said, this is really testing those feelings. My last sexual partner prior to her was nearly two years before meeting her (so almost three years ago)

I know that HSV can lay dormant but i just wanted the community's opinion about the likelihood of it all. So I ask, is it likely that it had been dormant in her (since she developed symptoms first and my first outbreak happened about a week or so after hers) for the last year (or longer) before her first outbreak only to immediately transmit it to me? I understand that transmission is much more likely during an outbreak but I still can't help but feel a little suspicious. I guess I just need somebody outside to talk me out of this feeling of betrayal.

Other questions I have are "What helped you guys deal with the initial diagnosis?", "What should I expect in the coming years?", "How long do I have to wait after the sores to have sex again?", "How do you broach the subject with future sexual partners?", "Do you recommend going on antivirals for every subsequent recurrence," and "What precautions do you guys recommend to ensure I don't inadvertently spread it to other spots on my body (if any)?"

Anyway, TLDR; Just diagnosed with HSV. Mixed emotions. Lots of questions. Thanks for reading!

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Acesheart
Hey everyone!

I was just diagnosed with HSV-2 and am a handling it okay i guess. The last few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions, varying from "everything is the same as it was before" to "this is the worst thing to happen to me." I know in my heart that reality is much closer to the former than the latter but I still need someplace to talk about everything and ask the questions that I need to ask in order for the healing process to begin. With that in mind, I'd like to share my story and any questions that may come up as I go. I am about halfway through writing this realized that this is going to be long, so thank you for reading.

My story begins about a month ago with my girlfriend of eight months (then seven.) We were having sex but stopped due to her having discomfort. We then noticed a discharge and she immediately made an Dr. appointment. Her usual gyno didn't have any openings so she went to one of his colleagues instead who told her that she had a yeast infection and gave her an antifungal cream. Her symptoms got worse, which we both attributed to the cream (which listed irritation as a side effect.) She finished taking her medication and the day after we had sex again.

Within a day, I began getting irritation as well, but it did not seem herpatic. My father, who is an infectious disease expert (specialized in a close relative of HSV) looked at it and much to my relief said it looked more like an allergic reaction than any STI he had encountered. It subsided within a few days, however just before completely healing came back. Alarmingly, this time the irritated regions were raised. This prompted an immediate Dr. appointment of my own. I was frightened beyond belief.

Luckily, I was able to get an appointment at the clinic the same day as my symptoms reappeared. By the time I was in the waiting room, the bumps had begun to ulcerate. After taking my baseline vitals, I was instructed to wait in the room for the doctor. I sat there for nearly an hour waiting and during that time I could practically see the sores progressing. The doctor came in, two medical students in tow, and after one glance at me said "Do you see that indentation? That means its viral." He then left the room. My mind racing a mile a minute, I was left in excruciating agony for the next forty minutes while I waited for him to return and give me the diagnosis that I had already just figured out on my own. It was terrible. What I took from it is that it is probably better to be a good clinician with good bedside manner than an exceptional one with poor manner (having just entered into a graduate program with an eye towards infectious disease myself.)

I drove to my girlfriend and broke the news to her, urging that she get checked. She turned up positive for HSV-2 as well. Apparently her "yeast infection" was really a primary HSV-2 outbreak. We are now both on antiviral drugs. I've always had trust issues with women (dating back to several sour relationships) and just a week before my diagnosis had even been telling a friend that I needed to get over them because I didn't want to ruin things with my current girlfriend. That being said, this is really testing those feelings. My last sexual partner prior to her was nearly two years before meeting her (so almost three years ago)

I know that HSV can lay dormant but i just wanted the community's opinion about the likelihood of it all. So I ask, is it likely that it had been dormant in her (since she developed symptoms first and my first outbreak happened about a week or so after hers) for the last year (or longer) before her first outbreak only to immediately transmit it to me? I understand that transmission is much more likely during an outbreak but I still can't help but feel a little suspicious. I guess I just need somebody outside to talk me out of this feeling of betrayal.

Other questions I have are "What helped you guys deal with the initial diagnosis?", "What should I expect in the coming years?", "How long do I have to wait after the sores to have sex again?", "How do you broach the subject with future sexual partners?", "Do you recommend going on antivirals for every subsequent recurrence," and "What precautions do you guys recommend to ensure I don't inadvertently spread it to other spots on my body (if any)?"

Anyway, TLDR; Just diagnosed with HSV. Mixed emotions. Lots of questions. Thanks for reading!

Hey Rookie, welcome honey. Feel free to ask. Truly Aces

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Romeo November

Due to the time between your last partner and current and your current partner having symptoms, she most likely passed it on to you.

Denial and Time helps with initial diagnosis but in the next few years you have to learn how to accept it in your own way.

If you want to take medication or not and you are the safest after the sores have healed completely, you can choose to whenever to have sex but take a risk if your sores haven't healed.

People approach their partners in many ways. Straightforward or taking time. There are many ways. You have to pick what is best for you.

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blue84

Well your dick will fall off lol j/k don't be scared bro..first thing I think your girlfriend had it at some point she got it from some other guy... Second you got nothing to worry just take your anti virals and if both have the viruses you can still go raw not worry about using condoms (;

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caretothepeople

It's great you're addressing the emotional impact of your diagnosis early on and recognizing what's coming up for you with the trust issues and your other concerns about living with herp. Take care of yourself!

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