New To Forum, Daughter New Diagnosed

[bcdavis]

This is totally new to me. As I write this, I PRAY for a cure quickly. My daughter (who has never been promiscious) had sex with protection and contracted genital herpes from a boyfriend she has known since 9th grade. She was devestated, and scared to tell me and her dad. We were all devastated! She struggled for days and weeks waiting for a confirmed blood test diagnosis. The guy became defensive and lied and said she had given it to him. Knowing she had just been recently tested (all clean!) she knew he lied and didn't really care about her. But she trusted him!! I (and her dad) struggled with our disappointment ( I would ask her often if she was having sex she would say no). But after our initial hurt and disappointment, we embraced her and reassured her that our love for her was unconditional! I was even by her side as she went for a second medical exam. We cried together!! She apologized profusely to me and said she was so sorry she had disappointed. She struggles with future possibilities of husband and children. Are there any other parents on this forum who can provide suggestions for me? She is on daily Valtrex and I bought her L-lysine and vitamin C, and stress tabs as well as Ecchinasia to boost her immune system. Any suggestions from parents? She even talked with our family counselor.

[starphyse]

Not alone

Well your daughter is certainly not alone and have you know 1 in 4 people have herpes in one form or another. Also after her immune system builds up antibodys to it and it may take time but after first 2-3 years the chances of outbreaks are reduced alot in most cases. Problem with herpes is basicly its harmless for most people with healthy immune systems but its highly contaigoius thats its setback.

She will have to explain it to her new relationships I myself do not have hsv of any form I date a girl that does and she told me this on our 3rd date we plan to have unprotected sex and oral sex so in time I myself may get it. In general im not afraid like I said its a basicly harmless virus just very contaigoius and spreadable to other parts of the body. Outbreaks can be painful at times but every outbreak is less then the previous unless of course you get really sick or ill which weakens your immune system. Also being upset and stressed don't help ether. Alot of resources can be found online about the virus the lysine and vitamin c does help alot.

She is a very lucky girl to have a father as caring as you. Alot of people are scolded when they get something like it.. But like I said its very common. hsv2 genital is actully better in alot of ways then hsv1 oral which can be spread by kissing. Just be careful cause when your having a outbreak you can spread it to other parts of the body..

Another important thing to know is that the virus suppose you got it on your hand and its hard to do anyway but if you did the chances of outbreaks in anywhere other then the viruses preference is unlikely. Most cases of herpes after a few years the symtoms seem to be very mild or not present at all. This all depends on the person though.

If you need any more support or help feel free to message me.

[NeedToKnow]

Well your daughter is certainly not alone and have you know 1 in 4 people have herpes in one form or another.

To be correct, 1 in 4 people (12+ yrs.) in the USA have genital herpes. If you include oral ("one form or another") it is much higher. 50-80% of people have HSV-1, the virus that usually causes oral herpes (cold sores). In England the rates are much lower.

[starphyse]

I stand corrected still pretty close though. Good to know good info about it though.

[JP123]

To be correct, 1 in 4 people (12+ yrs.) in the USA have genital herpes. If you include oral ("one form or another") it is much higher. 50-80% of people have HSV-1, the virus that usually causes oral herpes (cold sores). In England the rates are much lower.

Thanks for the clarification. As I was driving to work this morning, I was counting off cars, figuring the 1-in-4 or 1-in-5 estimation. Then I thought, "Oh, I guess that includes cold sores, so people like me, with GH, are a lot less common." Thanks for, unfortunately, putting it back into perspective.

[sorry for the thread-jack]

As for the original post, your daughter is lucky that you are so compassionate and understanding. While I'm an adult, I still won't tell my family for some time. I am in my 2nd week of this and things are getting much better. It DOES get better! Continue to offer that unconditional love and support. Taking a look at PositiveSingles' Success Stories helped me realize that successful relationships are definitely possible, even with this condition.

[starphyse]

Hsv isn't that bad of a condition if its managed right and if both partys are willing to take measures to prevent it from spreading to the other person. Also the longer you have it the less chance of your spreading it and if your on meds or vitamins thats much much less.

[barbie]

im only 17 i contracted genital herpes at the age of 16 fomr a boyfriend also who denied it too both my parents were upset about it with me, but the best thing to do is suppurt her n insure her that you love her whne she becomes upset about an outbreak before i contracted the virus my dad and i werent close and it actually made us closer. i have those bad days where i dont want to get outta bed n i wanan cry n wonder how n y this could happen to me but i relized i have to live with this and mayb one day they will find a cure

[bcdavis]

Thanks!

Thank you all for your responses. My daughter is still struggling with her situation, but trying to be strong. I just learned from her doctor that even though her test was positive, it is a slight possibility she does not have GH since she has not responded expectedly to V-trex. So further workups are in order. As her mother though, I constantly reassure her that I am here and both her Dad and I will always love her!! So thank you again for your replies! What an awesome site!!!

[bcdavis]

Thanks J for your response. It is good to hear your encouraging words of hope for my daughter. I understand how difficult it must be to tell your parents, because my daughter didn't want to tell us. But because I knew something was wrong she finally confided in me and her dad. I wish you the very best!

bcd

[starphyse]

Everything will get better give it time and things will return to normal again. My girlfriend has had hsv2 for about a year in a half and she is fine. Smoking cigerettes again even know she quit for a year which is kinda stupid.

[awake67]

Support

I so happy that you are seeking assistance where you can for your daughter. Thank you for being so supportive for her.

Besides the remedies to assist in healing already mentioned, you may also want to try Bach's Rescue Remedy Flower Essence to calm and stabilize her emotional well-being. Flower essences do not counter-act any other remedy.

[starphyse]

Where can you get that at awake?

[gutted.]

just to let ya know

you said she had had a test prior to seeing this boy?

american standard tests do not include for herpes.

there are lots of ways she could of got this virus other then sexual intercourse...

just food for thought - im not trying to say anything.

good on ya for being there for her - she will need it.

[awake67]

Flower Essence

Funny I saw Bach flower essence for the first time at Bashas (grocery store), but normally I go to health/nutrition/natural organic vendors. They are the ones that sell vitamins galore, herbal and nutrition books, natural soaps and oils and organic foods.

There's no "chain" store that I know of. I go to the Mom and Pop Natural Food store closest to me that has what I need.

Bach essences are about $12. Just take 3 drops whenever you think about it. Take for a couple of weeks and review if you need to continue taking it. I use my intuition. If the bottle doesn't appeal to me anymore, it goes back in the medicine cabinet.

[HC-Support-Team]

Bach Flower Remedies

Bach Flower Remedies Information

You can purchase Bach Flower Essence Products here.

[justagirl]

I just wanted to say I wanted to tell you I'm sure your daughter is incredibly thankful that both you and her father still love & support her.

Fact is, sometimes shitty things happen.

My mother has been incredibly supportive since I found out (wow, almost a month ago) and I don't thin anything in the world could prove to me how much she loves me more.

Remember, she already feels awful about the situation. Educate yourselves, but more importantly remind her that you still love her. I know hearing that from my mom and a few close friends was much more comforting than any of the research I've done.

[nelle]

Although I am not a parent, I am a daughter and hope I can be helpful from, perhaps, a different end. I actually think it's very remarkable that she has informed you of all of this, which I think must speak to how close and open you must be in your family. Because of my own shame with this diagnosis, I have not told anyone in my family (and certainly plan to keep it that way).

I would hazard a guess that your daughter is feeling very vulnerable and trapped by, among other things, the perjorative connotations this condition carries (i.e., promiscuity; etc.), even if she cannot be defined by any of these parameters. She also likely worries that you and her father will think less of her for this.

From your end, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to be supportive, which is very good. Keep being strong and telling her that she will still find and have love in her life (I'm having a hard time believing this myself) and that she will always be the wonderful person with all of the wonderful traits for which you have always loved her. This 'thing' doesn't define her. No one thing *ever* defines a person.

nelle

[starphyse]

Although I am not a parent, I am a daughter and hope I can be helpful from, perhaps, a different end. I actually think it's very remarkable that she has informed you of all of this, which I think must speak to how close and open you must be in your family. Because of my own shame with this diagnosis, I have not told anyone in my family (and certainly plan to keep it that way).

I would hazard a guess that your daughter is feeling very vulnerable and trapped by, among other things, the perjorative connotations this condition carries (i.e., promiscuity; etc.), even if she cannot be defined by any of these parameters. She also likely worries that you and her father will think less of her for this.

From your end, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to be supportive, which is very good. Keep being strong and telling her that she will still find and have love in her life (I'm having a hard time believing this myself) and that she will always be the wonderful person with all of the wonderful traits for which you have always loved her. This 'thing' doesn't define her. No one thing *ever* defines a person.

nelle

Your right and anyone that thinks otherwise is a fool.