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So, about three months ago I got what I think was my first outbreak. About two weeks ago I got my second. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married to him for three. We have a daughter that will be two this October. I went to the doctor and got tested about two weeks ago. I have herpes. Words can't even to begin to express the anger and confusion going through my head at this moment. I am also very hurt. The doctor didn't answer any of my questions. I have been tested and tested again and again for STD's and don't understand why this didn't show up earlier. I was tested before I got married and during my pregnancy. Did my husband cheat? Did I come into contact with somebody who had it and contracted it by shaking their hand or a hot tub? Maybe staying at a hotel and bathing in their shower? Should I get retested? Do they ever have false positives for this? I think it's herpes and truly believe the test but I am so shocked that it just now showed up.

I told my Dad hoping for some support but he immediatly made me feel like a dirty scum bag type of person and started telling me to bleach everything and telling me he hopes that I haven't given it to my daughter. After hanging up the phone I felt like crawling under a rock and staying there until I died. I sent him a link to a website with the facts and expressed my disappointment and sadness with his reaction and he has yet to call me or email me back. I feel exiled.

Next I have a few questions concerning my daughter. Can I bath with her? Should I have her tested. We take baths togeather regularly. Do you think I caught this recently considering I had my first outbreak just months ago? Do think my husband cheated considering we were both tested before we got married and that I was tested during my pregnancy? I do not want to be one of those disillusioned females who live their life in denial.

I am on day 4 of Valtrex and it is making me very tired. I normally go for long walks with my dog but I have barely had the energy to take him out just to pee. Any advice on the energy thing? Do the side effect lessen after time? Should my husband get tested although he says he has never had an outbreak and should he go on some sort of therapy. How long does a person usually stay on Valtrex? Is there a shot or immunization available for my daughter so I can help prevent her from getting it? And last of all.... what now. I have never felt this sad out alienated ever in my life.

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Everything will be fine.

Ok first off the herpes virus can't survive for very long outside the body I think its like 30-50 seconds you can look it up to confirm. Thats why you can't spread it that easy. The virus is very frail outside the body so you can share towels etc. During a outbreak however there is millions of herpies virus particles on those scabs so if you wanna be careful you should but its unlikely your gonna spread it to your daughter.

As for you having the hsv.. do you have hsv1 or hsv2? Its importiant to know that cause hsv1 is more outbreaks on oral then genitals and hsv2 is more outbreaks on genitals then oral. Herpes can spread anywhere on your body from outbreak contact cause like I said there is like millions of virus particles in a outbreak but spreading them is kinda hard you would have to purposely do it.. wash your hands after touching it or wear latex gloves if your worryed.

On the extreme bright side of things 1 in 4 people have herpes of some short roughy 28% of the popluation of this country has the herpes virus its a very contaigoius diease. Hsv1 oral tends to be worse in some ways then genital herpes cause you can spread hsv1 just by kissing usually people get that way more then hsv2.

Also before you assume your hubby was cheating notice that you can get herpes from oral sex on genitals if there is a virus present but thats usually hsv1 thats spread to genitals. Hsv2 oral can spread to genitals but it would have to be during a outbreak or shedding which is highly unlikely after the first outbreak of hsv2 oral.

Also keep in mind that after your first few outbreaks if you keep a good lysine diet there is stuff about that on this site. Also statisticly after 5-6 years people tend to have little or no symptoms of hsv in any form. Thats why people get hsv1 as children and spead it as adults cause they have it in saliva but don't have no symptoms.

Your not alone alot of people have it like I said its not the end of the world the pain will go away soon its best to remain calm try mediating if you never have before just close your eyes try to clear your mind im sure this is all very confusing and scary to you. If you have any other questions feel free to contact me.

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OMFG is right!

I totally your pain.

This is new (to me too) and time will lessen the trauma. I don't have kids and my marriage is in the disposal stage but this sure does suck. Please know that in the last 2 weeks that I have been present on these boards, it has helped tremendously. Your not alone.

This is just a f'ing bugger of a virus. Sometimes bigger than little but you will LIVE! Keep your head up and take care of yourself. You will get through this. My thoughts are with you. With all of you.

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"hugs" eyesbleu

Sorry to hear about your marrage you have a friend if you want one:) Same with you confused im prolly gonna live on the forums for awhile I really enjoy sharing knowledge and helping even know I don't have it myself.. yet

I enjoy oral sex to much not to do it on my hsv2 girlfriend and she has had no luck getting preg so unprotected sex is diff gonna happen sooner or later so. All I can say is ouch in advance and ready the valtrax. I'm not afraid though but like I said if you get bored feel free to contact me.

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tysm for getting back with me so quickly. ty more then ever for this site and the support I need so much right now. I truly, don't know what I would do without you guys.

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relex its ok "big hugs"

It will be fine take some vitamin c if you haven't already look into finding some lysine or look at the diet charts there is alot of them on the net for foods you can eat high in lysine. Don't panic give it a year you we will back to normal again. After 5 years you prolly won't even know you have it anymore. Just do research thats key to being able to explain what you have to a new partner its harmless really it is unless you have hiv or a weak immune system.

Big huge hugs once again don't worry about it try to keep calm and happy that will make you heal up faster. Meditate if you can there are sites to help you do that. Basicly everything you need is online. ;)

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Hi there, I am so confused....

The feelings of being sad and alienated will dissipate. I think we go through a grieving process after learning we have hsv. As you learn more about the virus, and how your body responds to it, you'll feel you have a handle on your life again.

It's too bad you didn't get the support you were hoping to get from your father, but he was probably reacting out of fear. The more he knows, the more understanding he will be (hopefully).

It's possible that you, and/or your husband, could have brought the virus with you into your marriage. It can lay dormant for years with no signs, no out breaks. The normal STD tests the docs run don't check for herpes. You must ask for a herpes specific blood test for that. People just think when getting tested for STD's that herpes would be included, it's not. It should be.

I would discourage you from bathing with your daughter until you know you body's signs for prodome and outbreaks. Why risk it? I am of the belief that it's not a good idea to share towels or wash cloths either. Again, Why risk it?

Your low energy could be from the virus and should get stronger as your outbreak heals. I haven't taken valtrex but I've read posts where people have had different side effects and one is low energy.

Good Luck and keep learning ;)

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