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cakester25

Just wanting to share my story

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cakester25

Ive never been able to fully vent about this to anyone so here goes...

I found out that i have genial herpes in May 2014. Im not sure exactly who i got it from but i point fingers at my most recent ex, Dimitri because id never been unprotected with anyone but him. I stand by this even knowing that condoms don't completely protect you from herpes. But around the time i started having having my first outbreak, which coincided with BV, Dimitri and i were still messing around unprotected despite the fact that he was in a new relationship (i know it was wrong) and he was also sleeping with his new girlfriend ( I know i was stupid) But before the blisters came i just felt like i had a fever and my entire body was sore then a few days later the blisters came. It looked horrible and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. So naturally I called Dimitri to let him know what was happening to me and he just happened to be experiencing the same thing, he even showed me his bumps in person. So we got tested about a week apart, he said he was swabbed and his results were negative. However he never found out what his blisters came from. My blood test came back positive but I never told him this, I just stopped sleeping with him. Even almost a year later I feel as though he lied to me.

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Acesheart
Ive never been able to fully vent about this to anyone so here goes...

I found out that i have genial herpes in May 2014. Im not sure exactly who i got it from but i point fingers at my most recent ex, Dimitri because id never been unprotected with anyone but him. I stand by this even knowing that condoms don't completely protect you from herpes. But around the time i started having having my first outbreak, which coincided with BV, Dimitri and i were still messing around unprotected despite the fact that he was in a new relationship (i know it was wrong) and he was also sleeping with his new girlfriend ( I know i was stupid) But before the blisters came i just felt like i had a fever and my entire body was sore then a few days later the blisters came. It looked horrible and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. So naturally I called Dimitri to let him know what was happening to me and he just happened to be experiencing the same thing, he even showed me his bumps in person. So we got tested about a week apart, he said he was swabbed and his results were negative. However he never found out what his blisters came from. My blood test came back positive but I never told him this, I just stopped sleeping with him. Even almost a year later I feel as though he lied to me.

Hey cakester, welcome honey. I am sorry for your pain. I believe you are correct in thinking/knowing it came from him. I would say you are much better off without him. My ex husband refused to acknowledge he had herpes or gave me herpes during our marriage, it killed me but I divorced him. We want to believe a partner we choose to share our bodies with would care for us and NOT abuse our love. It takes two to have a relationship, he knew what he was during while involved with his new girlfriend was wrong, this shows why you are better off without him. You sweety deserve to be the number one in any relationship, NOT his sloppy seconds when he gets the itch. Stay strong and believe in your self worth and just know you are not alone.

Thank you so much for sharing your life's story here with us. You are apart of a bigger family now, so relax settle in and visit Chat, many members there would love to talk and support and educate you. It's a virus and I'm proof you can live happily and normally. I've been married 25 yrs now and I've never passed my herpes. Take care sweety and just be glad that's all he gave you. So many bad things out there, but broken hearts will mend and the lessons we learn from users like him give us strength to believe and trust that we know we are worth way more than a play thing to a player. Hugs :itllbeok: Aces xo

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Iamsodepressed1999

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Hey cakester, welcome honey. I am sorry for your pain. I believe you are correct in thinking/knowing it came from him. I would say you are much better off without him. My ex husband refused to acknowledge he had herpes or gave me herpes during our marriage, it killed me but I divorced him. We want to believe a partner we choose to share our bodies with would care for us and NOT abuse our love. It takes two to have a relationship, he knew what he was during while involved with his new girlfriend was wrong, this shows why you are better off without him. You sweety deserve to be the number one in any relationship, NOT his sloppy seconds when he gets the itch. Stay strong and believe in your self worth and just know you are not alone.

Thank you so much for sharing your life's story here with us. You are apart of a bigger family now, so relax settle in and visit Chat, many members there would love to talk and support and educate you. It's a virus and I'm proof you can live happily and normally. I've been married 25 yrs now and I've never passed my herpes. Take care sweety and just be glad that's all he gave you. So many bad things out there, but broken hearts will mend and the lessons we learn from users like him give us strength to believe and trust that we know we are worth way more than a play thing to a player. Hugs :itllbeok: Aces xo

you are so lucky that you didn't spread herpes to ur partner. What is ur secret because I wore protection & still caught this. Does he not offer you oral sex? I'm just a little confused as to how one can be married & their partner doesn't have herpes

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Acesheart
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you are so lucky that you didn't spread herpes to ur partner. What is ur secret because I wore protection & still caught this. Does he not offer you oral sex? I'm just a little confused as to how one can be married & their partner doesn't have herpes

I don't consider myself any luckier then the next person. He and do have oral pleasures and make love as often as we can, we only see each other 2 or 3 days a week :( . He has always made sure I don't dwell on herpes. He doesn't talk about herpes since its never defined our marriage,our lives. He makes me forget I have herpes. He knew what I had before we ever dated,my rule. He doesn't use condoms since we wanted alot of babies.

I took antivirals from day one of diagnosis, I stayed on them for 25 yrs. I no longer take them. He just reminds me with every touch why we chose each other as life partners. We have been though many horrible, awful , tragic situations in our life together, herpes doesn't come close to the devastation we have survived. We have leaned on each other, raised a family, buried a few family members too, lost a son and raised a daughter.

Life is tough, you have priorities and responsibilities and many things that need attending to daily and weekly, who has time to dwell on herpes.

My life is blessed but as hard as I worked for this marriage,luck has nothing to do with the choices I've made, it's all mindset and good healthy living and growing my veggies and choosing to live not constantly remind myself I have herpes. NOT every bump, lump, tingles and itch is herpes related. I've seen 23doctor's so far and I am a very healthy lady even after several bouts of cancers and biopsies and surgeries, I'm still fighting. So again,I'm anything but lucky, but I am one tough mother and wife and I define me not my having herpes. My hubby had the right ideas all along, ignore what you cannot change and change what you cannot ignore if it isn't working for you, ie Life :) . Hugs Aces xo

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      It's very possible he or you were mostly a carrier. Neither one of you have to have sores all you have to do is shed.
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