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i feel my life is over


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hello people,

well.. i made the biggest mistake of my life. ive been married for less then a year. my wife and i were having many problems and i ended up drinking with my bestfriend one night (a female). well needless to say she ended up giving me herpes. she never knew she had it. never a freakin outbreak. im so in love with my wife. i told her i have herpes now. she was tested and it came out negitive. but i didnt tell her i cheated. i just said i never saw a o/b untill recently. being the great woman she is she believed me. the worst part is my wife was pregnant when i cheated. now she has miscarried. not from herpes just bad luck. we have not had sex since i have been infected. i feel like the lowest form of shit. all i want to do is die. i have not even been able to work a full week since this awful ordeal. i have a thirteen y/o daughter and i cant even look her in the eyes. i need help.. even though i know i dont deserve it. i ruined my life.. we are so young, what have i done.

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I am wondering why you feel like shit???

Is it because you cheated on your wife???

Is it because you have herpes???

Is it because if you didn't have herpes you wouldn't feel bad about the cheating??

Your wife has the right to know you cheated... she has the right to decide if she wants to live with a man that would not be faithful in the first year of marriage....

sorry.... I can't find it in me to sympathize... lucky for you it is only herpes... and it won't kill you... hopefully it will make you stronger and a better person...

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zig, I do sympathize with your pain. I too cheated on my husband and ended up with this virus. I did not tell him that I had cheated...same thing you said about never having an outbreak. (We're divorcing anyway, not because of this) Sometimes when we make MAJOR mistakes we choose not to drag down the ones we love in order to save them the pain that we are already overwhelmed with. I totally get that. It may not be right but when we feel so shitty already, why would we want to invite more shitty...thinking that we can't handle anymore dispair. I'm there.

Get some counceling. Run like Forest Gump. Try not to "self medicate" too much (alcohol). One thing at at time. Point yourself directly to your marriage and figure out how to survive this. Hang around here and you'll see your not alone. Be good to your body and yourself.

This is some heavy shit. Only time will lessen the dispair. Hang in there.

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Hey Zig!

Im probably at the starting point of were you are i am in the unsure stages of if i have got it, but you know when summins not quite right!

well, if i get results that i am, it is playing on me how i will tell her.....

theres alot of things to take into consideration,

altough it was a pros, it doesnt make it any better than if it was a freind, i done it! i was so drunk i dont know what i done how i got there anything, i just remeber thinking oh shit she didnt put a condom on then!!! and thats the first thing in my head when i woke up the next day!

and here i am! crying! but will it make it easier not to say that i done that? and that i just had a wiered thing go on down below, i got it looked at and this is what it is? I DONT KNOW, and theres know one i can ask for the awnser because its what i have to do! i wish i had a freind that i could just cry to , i just need some support at this time, and the wiered thing is i know who will give me it and its my wife - altough not if i said i cheated as this would be the big thing and not the herpes. I would never cheat and i think she knows that, alchohol is the devils water - and the words that are now tatooed on brain which it keeps shouting at me (IF ONLY I .............).

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Just do alot of research on it that will make you feel better too its not that bad of a virus just when you first get it.

Yeah though as far as your wife goes you shouldn't have cheated on her but now you have to tell her that and about the herpes but if she truely really really loves you then im sure she will forgive if not then I feel for your emotional pain but it will go away like all things do over time.

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You already told her you have herpes. You should not tell her that you cheated. It may make you feel better but only by making your wife feel like shit. It was your mistake and you should live with the pain of cheating rather than throwing it on her. If you truly love your wife and cherish the relationship, the best thing to do is never cheat again and be the best husband and father you can be. That is the way to make up for what you did.

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Yeah I would take time to come to terms with everything don't throw it all in her face at once. Myself If I did something like that I wouldn't tell right away but I would be to guilty to hold it in forever so I would have to beg forgiveness from the one I love.

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    • CHT
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    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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