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flutterbye18

pushing people away

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flutterbye18

It's been almost 2 years since I got herpes from my first serious boyfriend. We were together for a year and a half. He was abusive. And he gave me herpes a couple weeks before he moved away forever. Since then, I've had people like me. I've been crazy about someone. Every time someone tells me they like me or want to be with me no matter how much they like me, I push them away and kick them out of my life. It destroys me but I can't tell anyone about this. What if they told someone else? Or they decided they don't even want to be friends anymore? I'm crushed. I never had a chance to know what love is. I never had the chance to date. I went on a dating site and the only people in my city were 40 or older and as a 19 going on 20 year old that is not acceptable. I'm scared if I do find someone else with the disease I will have to settle because my selection of people is so narrowed down. I'm scared I'll have to settle for another abusive relationship. I feel so lost

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Acesheart

Hey flutter may I ask what is your h type? Sweetheart I have a daughter your age and I've expressed to her numerous time, never let anyone abuse you or take you for granted! She does NOT have herpes, but she is like you I'm sure, and have this kind heart. People can mistake kindness for weakness, never ever let anyone use you. She is learning her lessons by trial and error but as she told me "if I don't handle it my way, I'll never learn", this was after a friend of her best friend attacked her. He assumed since she went to his dorm apartment for gaming that she was easy. He also knew she is bisexual and wanted to "fix her" , his words..

Stand up for yourself love, it is never acceptable no matter what to allow someone to use you because you have this virus. Hugs sweety, Aces xo

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Createss Galore
It's been almost 2 years since I got herpes from my first serious boyfriend. We were together for a year and a half. He was abusive. And he gave me herpes a couple weeks before he moved away forever. Since then, I've had people like me. I've been crazy about someone. Every time someone tells me they like me or want to be with me no matter how much they like me, I push them away and kick them out of my life. It destroys me but I can't tell anyone about this. What if they told someone else? Or they decided they don't even want to be friends anymore? I'm crushed. I never had a chance to know what love is. I never had the chance to date. I went on a dating site and the only people in my city were 40 or older and as a 19 going on 20 year old that is not acceptable. I'm scared if I do find someone else with the disease I will have to settle because my selection of people is so narrowed down. I'm scared I'll have to settle for another abusive relationship. I feel so lost

The fact that an unscrupulous person could spread your business in the street is a reason to get to know a person somewhat before you give the talk. But don't wait so long that the person feels ambushed or misled. The fact that someone could decide to no longer be with you anymore is a reason to be cautious about when you give your heart away and to whom. But there will always be a chance that you may break-up or divorce. This risk cannot be eliminated in any case. So, you have about 3 choices in answer to your fears:

  • Date within the community, that is someone with H like you, to take the pressure off.
  • Date without the community and learn to wait longer and seriously evaluate who you tell and commit to.
  • Date within both, for a balance of stress and anxiety.

No one will be able to give you a perfect answer. What is best is what will work the best for you :)

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