Pretty late in the game

[newhere]

Hi Im 54 yo and recently diagnosed. I feel so stupid. I had my first outbreak in february but didnt realize that is what is was. I had another one in june and was dx by swab test on wed jun 4, well results following monday.

I also had bacterial vaginosis both times. Second outbreak was worse than the first by far, i think i ran a temp the night before i broke out. Which is normal i understand. low grade 100. Sitting at a desk all day at work was unbearable after the third and i had to stay home. Dr rx acylovir at time of the swab test so i got on meds right away, i dont think it did a lot for the existing lesions but i think i may have kept others at bay. I am worried about transfer lesions. ugh. needless to say im depressed, sad and ashamed. I have only told one person and while he was really nice about it, he was a sexual partner days prior to the ob but is not infected apparently, i dont feel particularly close to him. I am in therapy already and am not even sure about telling my therapist. I have not quizzed the dr on my exact results but i guess i should do that. I think i might need a new provider because i called on friday for a refill of the acylovir since friday was my last day and i felt panicked by the idea of going off it or not having any access to any due to my concerns about transfer lesions. And they didnt call it in when i went to pick it up. So i called the dr emergency number saturday and he did call it in for me. and 2 other refills. so at least that was helpful but it is largely an obstetric practice and im probably looked at a little sideways and i dont really get they are all that concerned for me. I can live without that. I have a couple other health concerns. i was on hrt therapy and they think (but dont really know of course) caused me to have a TIA, which is like a stroke but i recovered. As a result last oct i was sent into instant menopause. (but then in march i had another tia... without being on hrt. so thats why they dont really know if it was the hrt) which causes my vaginal tissues to be thinner and also drier and that leads to more painful sex, vaginosis and susceptibility to all kinds of things like herpes.

I understand that it will get better, my adjustment phase if you will, it is pretty traumatic however. I guess i dont really want to have to get through this. But there are just no other options, are there.

[VVK]

If I'm reading correctly, you got a positive swab result on June 8th? Was it type 1 or type 2?

Most people already have one or another form of HSV or both. Once the initial breakout finishes, subsequent breakouts (if you get any at all) should decrease in severity and won't bother you as much.

[newhere]

Yes swab was taken june 3 but results on the 8th. I dont know any details exxcept positive. they didnt share any of that. but i will be calling them tomorrow to get more info.

[HolisticGirl]

Please don't feel ashamed. I was about 35 when I was diagnosed....and I had gotten OBs prior but the doctor kept misdiagnosing me. Herpes hits people of all ages, race and sex....so don't beat yourself up. Biggest thing is to take care of yourself. And you will tell who you want when you are ready. Right now you are trying to wrap your mind around it so I understand why you don't want to talk about it. When you are ready you will talk.

[SheIsBlue]

Hi newhere, welcome to the site. Don't feel stupid; none of us expected to be here either and there are many of us in your age group. Once the outbreaks settle down, you can learn how to help prevent them and how to live with the virus. There are helpful articles and forums to educate yourself and great members to help you along. If I can help in any way, feel free to message any time. Hang in there.

[newhere]

Hi and thanks for your replies. Its hard not to play society's dialogue in your head, but your comments and sharing your experiences really do help as do some of the posts on the newly diagnosed section. I look forward to a time when i have more completely accepted and processed this life event as so many of you seem to have done. I am still teary and freaking out that this ob seems to be continuing 2 weeks now. Today my throat is all sore and i have a white spot on my lip and afew on the back of my throat. I feel like i infected myself all over my body. My vagine seems to be healing in good shape though. ugh. Also, i posted in the testing section because i have no details from my test. I kinda want a blood test now, to see if i am neg and this is a new infection or perhaps older. Is that a good idea? my dr is lame, looking for a new provider, found one but my appt is not until july 7th!

I decided to stay home today so i sorta feel like im taking care of my self physically and emotionally. Its sorta working. I might up my acylovir dose to 4x from 3x a day.

[newhere]

Also i should add on a good note, the person i told? he was super nice about it, he's my age and so he has experience in life that help him get past all the society bullshit i think, but he said to me a) its a stupid virus is all and he would still hang out with me. So today he is going to be in town and wanted to stop by. and there will be zero contact but he still wanted to come by. really nice of him and is support i need.

Another thing i found especially helpful is looking at the gallery. I thought to myself, yish the herpes support forum has a photo gallery? Of WHAT? Oh your members, whew, who happen look like perfectly normal, nice, attractive and desirable people. but what a good idea for stigma busting. One poster on here was talking about seeing people out and about looking happy and care free. I bet they look a lot like the people in the gallery. You do not know what troubles or problems people have. One poster mentioned ptsd AND hsv. says the ptsd is far worse. Perspectives like that help me see a way out of the prison of herpes we create in our minds.

[newhere]

I went to therapy today and shard with my therapist. It was good. She even said geez you can not catch a break! Seriously had a bunch of stupid shit like losing my cat, troubles at work, now finding out i have herpes, i mean geez. I was just starting to come back up out of a hole, only to be kicked back in. She said i should buy lottery tickets because something good was in the works for me. lol. what an optimist. About as optimistic as i can get is to say it can always be worse. So i am grateful my vagine is healed and not killing me like it was and be happy i found this forum that sort of normalizes this condition. Im glad i am in menopause - said no one ever - but I just did. So there really isn't a bright side of course, only a less dark side ? Its a work in progress.

Im going to have to tell my daughter or else hide all these meds when she is visiting. luckily she lives 50 miles away and is not home often or un announced, she is an adult and its not that big a deal, but i would rather tell her when i am more in a state of handling this myself before she becomes involved. Im still kind of a mess. She is not stupid if she sees lysine and shit like that around she will know or want to know why. I do not want to tell her because it will stress her out. and who needs that from their mom? It can wait, although a couple of times i've wanted to blurt it out. Im glad i havent.

I also bought L Lysine and a b complex with c and zinc today. I have been looking for some dosage info on the lysine and 3000 per day is not too much? Good lord those things are big. I took 1000 earlier. The dr ordered a blood test and i took it yesterday afternoon. He also Rx valtrex since this ob seems to be continuing to a degree. I upped my acylovir dose to 400 mg 4 x instead of 3. it does help. i just feel like im on the verge of getting a blister ... im obsessed with hand sanitizer. I am going to start the valrex tomorrow. and see if there is a difference for me.

Thanks for reading.

[WilsoInAus]

Lysine doesnt do anything, skip that one. You only need to take what is deficient in your normal diet. Vitamins B, C and Zinc help many people stay healthy.

Your male friend is definitely infected with HSV-2!

[newhere]

Thanks for the response. I'm not sure why you say he is definitely infected. Are you saying I definitely infected him? I'm going to let him be tested before assuming anything.

I see you are a mod so I'm sure you would not be saying this unless you have some basis for saying something like that. Seems a little harsh to me.

[WilsoInAus]

I meant to infer he is your giver, almost no doubt based on the description you give. Hence the two of you can have sexual activity in the knowledge that further infection is not possible.

[newhere]

Oooohhh I see. He may be. I think I may have had an ob in feb though. And that wasn't him. I have yet to contact that person. All I can do is inform him and suggest he be tested. But he he did not report any sc to me. I'm close to talking to him. Lol. The newer person and I discussed if he's positive we can hang out lol. He said let's monetize this and start a dating website for hsv

[newhere]

Oooohhh I see. He may be. I think I may have had an ob in feb though. And that wasn't him. I have yet to contact that person. All I can do is inform him and suggest he be tested. But he he did not report any sc to me. I'm close to talking to him. Lol. The newer person and I discussed if he's positive we can hang out lol. He said let's monetize this and start a dating website for people who are hsv +.

[newhere]

I accidentally posted this and can't delete it.

[newhere]

So the nightmare continues. I am getting lesions on my lips, paper cuts. some are bigger and some come and then go away. I am freaking out. I called for creme? acyclovir or zovirax but they are 300 and 700 respectively and not covered by almost any insurance companies. so i resorted to anitbiotic neosporin. also coconut oil. i use a tissue to put it on, or touch my face at all. it at least keeps it from hurting and being so dry feeling. I did get some lysine and the b12. Im looking into the oregano oil. they feel like little cuts or burns. i feel completely infectious. like a walking herpes virus. my daughter is coming to visit sunday for fathers day but she will stop here, ugh. I maybe have to tell her. I think maybe the phone will be easier. I'm not sure how i feel about the valtrex vs acylovir. i am getting headaches a little bit more. I think i need to drink more water.

[newhere]

My IgG test came back negative for both. I thought I was infected in feb but this would suggest more like my last encounter. .. May 28 and 29. I was tested on the 19th. I'm completely flummoxed!

[newhere]

Well one of my partners tested positive for hsv 2 in the 3.6 range. So that means he would be the giver. He is very nice and feels badly. Came down to tell me and take me to dinner. I thought it would help knowing but, it doesn't.

I have been having a terrible time with medical providers. I am continuing valtrex at the 1g 2x daily rate. I still feel like I am healing some lip lesions . But I noticed since sat things do not feel as inflamed. My genital lesions are good. Which is a relief. I just want to feel like it's over but I don't quite yet think this ob is over.

[Terrell]

Hi Im 54 yo and recently diagnosed. I feel so stupid. I had my first outbreak in february but didnt realize that is what is was. I had another one in june and was dx by swab test on wed jun 4, well results following monday.

I also had bacterial vaginosis both times. Second outbreak was worse than the first by far, i think i ran a temp the night before i broke out. Which is normal i understand. low grade 100. Sitting at a desk all day at work was unbearable after the third and i had to stay home. Dr rx acylovir at time of the swab test so i got on meds right away, i dont think it did a lot for the existing lesions but i think i may have kept others at bay. I am worried about transfer lesions. ugh. needless to say im depressed, sad and ashamed. I have only told one person and while he was really nice about it, he was a sexual partner days prior to the ob but is not infected apparently, i dont feel particularly close to him. I am in therapy already and am not even sure about telling my therapist. I have not quizzed the dr on my exact results but i guess i should do that. I think i might need a new provider because i called on friday for a refill of the acylovir since friday was my last day and i felt panicked by the idea of going off it or not having any access to any due to my concerns about transfer lesions. And they didnt call it in when i went to pick it up. So i called the dr emergency number saturday and he did call it in for me. and 2 other refills. so at least that was helpful but it is largely an obstetric practice and im probably looked at a little sideways and i dont really get they are all that concerned for me. I can live without that. I have a couple other health concerns. i was on hrt therapy and they think (but dont really know of course) caused me to have a TIA, which is like a stroke but i recovered. As a result last oct i was sent into instant menopause. (but then in march i had another tia... without being on hrt. so thats why they dont really know if it was the hrt) which causes my vaginal tissues to be thinner and also drier and that leads to more painful sex, vaginosis and susceptibility to all kinds of things like herpes.

I understand that it will get better, my adjustment phase if you will, it is pretty traumatic however. I guess i dont really want to have to get through this. But there are just no other options, are there.

I know how you feel my only hope is God

[newhere]

Interesting developments. I never developed any real oral lesions per se and everyone said not herpes and not swabable. But i had used tea tree oil undiluted and i think i actually burned my lips. once i treated them for that they feel much better. So unclear if there is any oral involvement. I had a stressful day wed at work, was laying in bed and the tail of my spine felt swollen. I had an internal nerve pain around my vagina like a pin prick. electrical shock maybe more like! And i was itchy like i had just shaven but i hadn't. These are my predome symptoms? Next day developed a pretty big bump in my pubic hair. Not the site of the previous lesion. Which is great because that one killed me when peeing. There are a few around my anus as well. But they are not super painful. The large red bump is itchy and burny but not blistering. I had stopped valtrex. So i started again yesterday am. 1G 2x day for 5 days and then 500 2x day. for at last two weeks and i may drop to 500 1 x a day. I am taking a b complex. lysine. ordering some oregano oil and olive leaf i think. I have had every lab test imaginable practically as i had my physical last tuedsay. My cholesterol was up while on crestor? Hmmm. Just the bad kind of course. LDL went from 83 to 113. Everything else was ok but my TSH was slightly down. She wants to wait three months and retest to see if its still down before addressing. Vit d was 50 ng/ml which is low optimal to me so im bumping that up a little from my 2000 ius. I was also recently tested for the mthfr genetic mutation and i dont have that. Nor hep c. i had a huge hormone test done and my new gyno rx some compounded for me estrogen/progesterone/testosterone creme to use daily. yay! my internist said it would be ok for me to have that vaginally. yesterday was my first dose so i dont think that has anything to do with this outbreak. It is a miniscule amount of the creme, .25 grams.

I went to the pool for an hour yesterday, probably not the greatest idea? i have read that sun will trigger. However, i think i was already well on the path to this ob. And we had a nice time. so there herpes! you are only going to fuck with my life so far and i will draw the LINE!

[Terrell]

Interesting developments. I never developed any real oral lesions per se and everyone said not herpes and not swabable. But i had used tea tree oil undiluted and i think i actually burned my lips. once i treated them for that they feel much better. So unclear if there is any oral involvement. I had a stressful day wed at work, was laying in bed and the tail of my spine felt swollen. I had an internal nerve pain around my vagina like a pin prick. electrical shock maybe more like! And i was itchy like i had just shaven but i hadn't. These are my predome symptoms? Next day developed a pretty big bump in my pubic hair. Not the site of the previous lesion. Which is great because that one killed me when peeing. There are a few around my anus as well. But they are not super painful. The large red bump is itchy and burny but not blistering. I had stopped valtrex. So i started again yesterday am. 1G 2x day for 5 days and then 500 2x day. for at last two weeks and i may drop to 500 1 x a day. I am taking a b complex. lysine. ordering some oregano oil and olive leaf i think. I have had every lab test imaginable practically as i had my physical last tuedsay. My cholesterol was up while on crestor? Hmmm. Just the bad kind of course. LDL went from 83 to 113. Everything else was ok but my TSH was slightly down. She wants to wait three months and retest to see if its still down before addressing. Vit d was 50 ng/ml which is low optimal to me so im bumping that up a little from my 2000 ius. I was also recently tested for the mthfr genetic mutation and i dont have that. Nor hep c. i had a huge hormone test done and my new gyno rx some compounded for me estrogen/progesterone/testosterone creme to use daily. yay! my internist said it would be ok for me to have that vaginally. yesterday was my first dose so i dont think that has anything to do with this outbreak. It is a miniscule amount of the creme, .25 grams.

I went to the pool for an hour yesterday, probably not the greatest idea? i have read that sun will trigger. However, i think i was already well on the path to this ob. And we had a nice time. so there herpes! you are only going to fuck with my life so far and i will draw the LINE!

I like your motivation