New and very depressed

[JT34]

Hi all,

I am currently waiting on blood test results for genital herpes but it is just delaying the inevitable at this point. I've had all the signs for the past 10 days. Sores on my genitals, fever, sore throat, sore back etc...this is my first outbreak clearly complete with flu-like symptoms. I have read that this means the virus was contracted recently, is this true?

I had unprotected sex recently with a girl I have been sleeping solely with for more than a year now. Would this make her the likely carrier?

I'm extremely depressed and feel like my life is over. I have no idea how to tell her once the positive results come back. Today is my first day at work and I can't even look my coworkers in the eyes.

Please help.

[newhere]

Hi JT34, I feel your pain. Its hard not to feel ashamed, but honestly that is society bullshit around sex and sexuality. Im having a hard time talking about it with anyone i know but i think thats probably ok for me right now. Its a freaking virus and thats it. its a somewhat silent infector im finding out, and people don't come with the sign they are a carrier and dont even know it. Even when you know them or have been with them for a long period you dont actually know im finding out. But im not gonna lie, it does suck and feeling sad and depressed is justified. But after that then what? I know for a fact that shitty things happen to people who dont deserve them all time. And even when they do deserve them its still shitty. Its not about what happens to us in life, its how we deal with it i think. If we present it all ashamed and defeated and worthless, then that's how people will see us. If we let this define us then, well that is depressing. If we say yeah something shitty happened to me , it probably gonna affect me in ways i dont even know and probably wont like, but im gonna still be the same person i was and ill deal with it the best i can.

I am still having what i think is my second ob tweeks later. Today my throat is all sore and dry and i see some white spots on one side. hurts somewhat. i also have a white blister inside my upper lip. I am still taking acylovir also but i feel like i keep having new blisters in new places. I stayed home today so sorta feels like im taking care of myself.

[JT34]

Thanks for the response newhere. If she is the only person I've been with for more than a year (I've only had six sexual partners) and this outbreak came about days after unprotected sex with her, do you think she is the carrier?

[newhere]

I know enough about this to be dangerous, but i would say that she should be tested and if she is + then probably. If she is neg then maybe not, but not for sure not. ? i know ambiguous huh. I think as logic goes, it would be her. but im not sure logic applies to this virus. And i guess you can have it and spread it and not know it waaaaayyyy more easily than i ever thought.

[StonerPixie79]

I am so green to this, that I won't be much help, I am afraid. I, too had the fever and achiness and flu like symptoms with my first OB. I have read it's much more prevalent and so many people have it and just have no idea. I contracted it from my bf who had no idea he even had it after we decided to monogamous and have unprotected sex. It's maddening to me to learn how many people have it and are completely asymptomatic. My first OB was awful. I was in so much pain, that suicide sorta considered like a viable option. I am now taking daily Valtrex, along with 1,000 mg of L-Lysine and 50 mg of Zinc Gluconate. My second OB was extremely mild compared to the first. I am certain it was due to lack of decent sleep, stress, a new job and poor diet at the time due to the new job and life stress. I am back to a healthy diet, exercise and the above medication and supplements. Hang in there, it sucks. But, there is life beyond this.