Trying to cope with multiple outbreaks

[australiangirl]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post though I have spent quite a bit of time reading through the forums and familiarizing myself with things. Forgive me for my rambling, I guess I am still trying to arrange the thoughts in my mind about this and it is hard for me to write it.

I am a 31 year old female who had my first outbreak in February of this year. I am married, have been with my partner for 9 years and never had any kind of outbreak in my life before this, though I have had multiple sexual partners before him.

In February I was staying with a girl friend who had a herpes outbreak and within a few days of being at her house I developed a weird tingling down there. It was the oddest feeling but I kept thinking it was from riding my bike for a long period of time. I couldn't make sense of it. We didn't have any intimate contact except using the toilet directly after her.

Within three weeks I had the blisters down there. I went to a doctor who did a swab and it came back positive for genital herpes. My husband doesn't have it. The question of where I got it from consumed me.I was certain I got it from the friend and toilet though the doctor said that is very highly unlikely. They also said it was highly unlikely that it lay in me for 10 years silently. So there is no answer to this , except it has just appeared. And now it comes every two weeks. It is relentless and I have never felt back to normal down there since February.

Has anyone experienced this? Has anyone ever gotten herpes from the toilet or had it for many many years and then had an outbreak? This is doing my head in and I can't stop thinking about it. I know it doesn't help to ruminate but everytime I have an outbreak I am reminded and then go into that state of thinking where did it come from etc.

The doctor has told me it is pretty benign to have but reading stories on here about spreading around the body etc has me terrified.

I guess I am just looking for a bit of support and to meet people who understand the anxiety and depression around this condition and how they handled it. I could really use some help as I feel like every two weeks when I have an outbreak I plummet into self disgustion and anxiety.

Thanks for reading.

[WilsoInAus]

Did you have oral sex in the few days before the sores appeared? Your husband is the more likely source. Has he ever tested for HSV-1?

[australiangirl]

No- I tested positive for hsv-2 and my husband is negative for both types.

[australiangirl]

Thank you for your reply tho!

[Terrell]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post though I have spent quite a bit of time reading through the forums and familiarizing myself with things. Forgive me for my rambling, I guess I am still trying to arrange the thoughts in my mind about this and it is hard for me to write it.

I am a 31 year old female who had my first outbreak in February of this year. I am married, have been with my partner for 9 years and never had any kind of outbreak in my life before this, though I have had multiple sexual partners before him.

In February I was staying with a girl friend who had a herpes outbreak and within a few days of being at her house I developed a weird tingling down there. It was the oddest feeling but I kept thinking it was from riding my bike for a long period of time. I couldn't make sense of it. We didn't have any intimate contact except using the toilet directly after her.

Within three weeks I had the blisters down there. I went to a doctor who did a swab and it came back positive for genital herpes. My husband doesn't have it. The question of where I got it from consumed me.I was certain I got it from the friend and toilet though the doctor said that is very highly unlikely. They also said it was highly unlikely that it lay in me for 10 years silently. So there is no answer to this , except it has just appeared. And now it comes every two weeks. It is relentless and I have never felt back to normal down there since February.

Has anyone experienced this? Has anyone ever gotten herpes from the toilet or had it for many many years and then had an outbreak? This is doing my head in and I can't stop thinking about it. I know it doesn't help to ruminate but everytime I have an outbreak I am reminded and then go into that state of thinking where did it come from etc.

The doctor has told me it is pretty benign to have but reading stories on here about spreading around the body etc has me terrified.

I guess I am just looking for a bit of support and to meet people who understand the anxiety and depression around this condition and how they handled it. I could really use some help as I feel like every two weeks when I have an outbreak I plummet into self disgustion and anxiety.

Thanks for reading.

Stop the depression it will only lead to more complications. It's difficult to find out where you got it from. Therefore, prayer, education, herbs, less stress, and sharing heels.

[australiangirl]

Thanks Terrell.

I'm a work in progress. Trying to get a grip on the depression and anxiety and educating myself on herbs and alternative treatments has been useful to me

[justanothersufferer]

Hmm, I suppose I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I'm waiting for my girlfriend to get a proper test to confirm if she actually has it or not. I never cheated either, went away, stayed in a hotel, came back and had herpes. I can definitely say that when I returned my girlfriend and I had sex as we didn't know it was of any concern. She has never had an outbreak but I get them once ever few weeks it seems. I started on antivirals about a month ago, so far so good.

It's been about 6 months since we've had intercourse, going from daily to 6 months is difficult. But I want to make sure we know her status before we start having sex again. Just something to think about in case you haven't.

The delay on her end is proper testing. She got tested and it says HSV positive, but she's had cold sores in the past so we don't know the type. We need to book a specific test for her for that as she may just be asymptomatic.

[australiangirl]

Justanothersufferer thanks for your post.

Sometimes I think the hardest thing about having this is the question of where the heck I got it from.

The fact that symptoms appeared at my friends house (who has herpes) and I stayed there for a week with her - used toilet right after her etc leads me to believe I must have got it from there.

A specialist I saw said that would be highly unlikely but couldn't rule it out as not possible.

It is either that I got it from my friend somehow when I was staying with her or I had it silent for 10 years (which the specialist seemed to think unlikely also) and then it just reared its head.

I know it's kind of useless to go on about how I have t as I have it and that's that. But it has caused me so much anxiety I don't want my husband to use my toilet or towels and I wash my hands so many times a day frightened I may have touched there. I'm really scared I will pass it on like this though I'm told this is not the case:(

As for a sex life , mine is non existent as I have an outbreak every two weeks and when I don't I am constantly worried about it shedding and being infectious.

My husband doesn't even care about the virus now I think he's more worried about my mental state.

[justanothersufferer]

Justanothersufferer thanks for your post.

Sometimes I think the hardest thing about having this is the question of where the heck I got it from.

The fact that symptoms appeared at my friends house (who has herpes) and I stayed there for a week with her - used toilet right after her etc leads me to believe I must have got it from there.

A specialist I saw said that would be highly unlikely but couldn't rule it out as not possible.

It is either that I got it from my friend somehow when I was staying with her or I had it silent for 10 years (which the specialist seemed to think unlikely also) and then it just reared its head.

I know it's kind of useless to go on about how I have t as I have it and that's that. But it has caused me so much anxiety I don't want my husband to use my toilet or towels and I wash my hands so many times a day frightened I may have touched there. I'm really scared I will pass it on like this though I'm told this is not the case:(

As for a sex life , mine is non existent as I have an outbreak every two weeks and when I don't I am constantly worried about it shedding and being infectious.

My husband doesn't even care about the virus now I think he's more worried about my mental state.

I hear ya, I feel the same for my girlfriend. I try to put myself in her shoes though, she went from having sex with me daily to nothing. It's been about 7 months now. Mind you, I think in the past she had concerns that we were together for sex, but now she knows how much I love her as I'm still with her despite sex. Now, don't kid yourself, we do other stuff, but until she has something conclusive from a doctor positive or negative, I told her not to chance it.

Since I've ben on antivirals I've been feeling much better, its either that or cutting out coffee all together, personally I think it's both.

[australiangirl]

The doctor told me that blood tests can't really tell if someone is positive or not - they are not really accurate and the only real way is a swab of a lesion so that makes me even more paranoid of passing it on.

How do you feel about the antivirals? I've heard many conflicting things about them. Do you have any side effects?

I'm considering them as an outbreak every two weeks is becoming unbearable.

My friend who has herpes told me cut out all sugar.

[justanothersufferer]

The doctor told me that blood tests can't really tell if someone is positive or not - they are not really accurate and the only real way is a swab of a lesion so that makes me even more paranoid of passing it on.

How do you feel about the antivirals? I've heard many conflicting things about them. Do you have any side effects?

I'm considering them as an outbreak every two weeks is becoming unbearable.

My friend who has herpes told me cut out all sugar.

Well, I would say it's probably safer to be on them then not. I worry that I might spread it to healthy tissue if I have an outbreak, so to not have them at all sort of throws that concern out the window. I haven't really noticed any side effects, I've been really tired but that might be cause I'm not drinking coffee anymore. Overall, it's better then outbreaks I'd say!

I've heard of certain blood tests that can be done that determine if its HSV1 or 2. Personally, I was diagnosed by swab, and my girlfriend did a generic blood test. All I can say is the paperwork for her was pretty vague and did not specify type. So I think that is the most crucial bit of information, which I hope we can find out sooner then later. Hopefully to enjoy a sex life again

[australiangirl]

I don't think you can spread it to healthy tissue can you? Do you mean like somewhere else on your body? I would find that hard to believe it could happen. But who knows.

I'm just extra extra careful when I have an ob and wash my hands constantly and wipe the toilet seat. i'm not sure if this is overkill but I don't really want to find out by giving someone it.

I wonder about public toilets?

Apparently after a while the OB's become less frequent. I'm hoping for this to happen as it's so distressing.

[justanothersufferer]

I don't think you can spread it to healthy tissue can you? Do you mean like somewhere else on your body? I would find that hard to believe it could happen. But who knows.

I'm just extra extra careful when I have an ob and wash my hands constantly and wipe the toilet seat. i'm not sure if this is overkill but I don't really want to find out by giving someone it.

I wonder about public toilets?

Apparently after a while the OB's become less frequent. I'm hoping for this to happen as it's so distressing.

As for the healthy tissue, I get concerned about it because I keep reading posts of people saying they spread it to their hand from their genitals. So I have no idea how possible it is, but like you I try to take as many precautions as possible.

As for frequency, I had 2 outbreaks pretty much back to back after my initial outbreak. Then I went 11 weeks without one, then I had 3 or 4 in a row till I decided to go on antivirals. I have enough scarring on my shaft, I love how everything you read says it will go away with NO scarring, that is UNTRUE!

[australiangirl]

My god! Spreading to your hands! Arghhh!

I guess it's good to take extra precautions then!

I've had sex in between outbreaks but my mental state is not really into it if that makes sense. I'm not concerned I may be giving it to my husband as apparently it can be transmitted when you don't have outbreaks.

He's not as worried as me for some reason.

Are your outbreaks bad? I have them every 2-3 weeks since February but they are usually one little lump or two at most. They're uncomfortable though and I don't feel the best. Some go after 3 days and one took a month. It's weird. How long do yours take to go? Is your girlfriend scared of getting them?

I had a friend who told me the antivirals made her really sick so I didn't want to try them but am rethinking it.....

[justanothersufferer]

When I was having them after my initial outbreak I'd get two or three bumps. Mostly leg pain for me other then tenderness in my groin. Usually from when I notice it (pretty much right away) till they scab its about 3 days. However the scab to come off is another 3 or so. All and all, I'd say a good week or more and I'm back to a semi normal state. With antivirals its been about 1 month since I've had an outbreak of 3 bumps. I had something show up red in an uncommon spot on my shaft but my girlfriend said it is likely a follicle, I never felt any pain.

As for sex, we haven't had unprotected sex in 7 months. Oral usually a few days a week which I think is probably kind of unsafe! Unfortunately her doctor told her there is nothing type specific they can tell her as she is asymptomatic. Only a swab test can confirm, but she doesn't have outbreaks so no swab can be taken, so maybe assume the best? that she is negative? that's why we've stopped having sex for so long. I think we might start again soon and just take the chance. We know she has hsv antibodies, we just don't know the type. She also seems to be a bit better about it then me, I'm so worried for her to get what I had when first diagnosed.

So far I will say I'm pretty pleased not having symptoms with antivirals. We'll see how it goes.

[australiangirl]

Gosh seems better that it's on your leg than actually down there!

Mine have been down ther- just one or two blisters- they don't scab or anything they just seem to go away one day . Some last longer than others. The longest has been a month it stayed there and I was in absolute horror overseas and totally stressed.

I think a lot of the stress is awaiting another outbreak. In always checking and any little bump I freak out. I have some odd symptoms when I have outbreaks though. I have to pee all the time. It feels like pressure. Do you ever have this?

Why don't you have sex with condom? Seems that would be pretty safe(though not if on your leg I guess)

I read a lot of people never break out so if her girlfriend does have it she could just be lucky and never break out. Fingers crossed for her!!!!

[so DONE]

Gosh seems better that it's on your leg than actually down there!

Mine have been down ther- just one or two blisters- they don't scab or anything they just seem to go away one day . Some last longer than others. The longest has been a month it stayed there and I was in absolute horror overseas and totally stressed.

I think a lot of the stress is awaiting another outbreak. In always checking and any little bump I freak out. I have some odd symptoms when I have outbreaks though. I have to pee all the time. It feels like pressure. Do you ever have this?

Why don't you have sex with condom? Seems that would be pretty safe(though not if on your leg I guess)

I read a lot of people never break out so if her girlfriend does have it she could just be lucky and never break out. Fingers crossed for her!!!!

My husband has h1 I have h2. Sex is still going strong but now with condoms after 17 years. Found out two months ago. Freak accident . Cold sore , drunk ,oral . That's a rap. There is ways condoms, plastic rap for oral for lady's. If you really love your partner support them, education is the best way.

[so DONE]

Gosh seems better that it's on your leg than actually down there!

Mine have been down ther- just one or two blisters- they don't scab or anything they just seem to go away one day . Some last longer than others. The longest has been a month it stayed there and I was in absolute horror overseas and totally stressed.

I think a lot of the stress is awaiting another outbreak. In always checking and any little bump I freak out. I have some odd symptoms when I have outbreaks though. I have to pee all the time. It feels like pressure. Do you ever have this?

Why don't you have sex with condom? Seems that would be pretty safe(though not if on your leg I guess)

I read a lot of people never break out so if her girlfriend does have it she could just be lucky and never break out. Fingers crossed for her!!!!

Use peroxide with a little alcohol. Three times a day when you have a ob. It helps dry them.

[so DONE]

My god! Spreading to your hands! Arghhh!

I guess it's good to take extra precautions then!

I've had sex in between outbreaks but my mental state is not really into it if that makes sense. I'm not concerned I may be giving it to my husband as apparently it can be transmitted when you don't have outbreaks.

He's not as worried as me for some reason.

Are your outbreaks bad? I have them every 2-3 weeks since February but they are usually one little lump or two at most. They're uncomfortable though and I don't feel the best. Some go after 3 days and one took a month. It's weird. How long do yours take to go? Is your girlfriend scared of getting them?

I had a friend who told me the antivirals made her really sick so I didn't want to try them but am rethinking it.....

I take a antiviral and its making me feel like crap. But better than having my whoha feeling like its on fire

[australiangirl]

I take a antiviral and its making me feel like crap. But better than having my whoha feeling like its on fire

Thank you for the advice! I will definitely try the peroxide. I'm going to see if I can get antiviral to take at the first sign of that awful pain because it was so bad

The OB never really bothered me like this last incident..

My husband and I use condoms too (when I can even think about sex - which is not often anymore).

Xx

[justanothersufferer]

Gosh seems better that it's on your leg than actually down there!

Mine have been down ther- just one or two blisters- they don't scab or anything they just seem to go away one day . Some last longer than others. The longest has been a month it stayed there and I was in absolute horror overseas and totally stressed.

I think a lot of the stress is awaiting another outbreak. In always checking and any little bump I freak out. I have some odd symptoms when I have outbreaks though. I have to pee all the time. It feels like pressure. Do you ever have this?

Why don't you have sex with condom? Seems that would be pretty safe(though not if on your leg I guess)

I read a lot of people never break out so if her girlfriend does have it she could just be lucky and never break out. Fingers crossed for her!!!!

Ha no! I don't have herpes on my leg, its on my shaft. However when I had my outbreak I had crazy leg pain is what I was saying.

I started having sex without condoms last week. My girlfriend is positive for herpes, we just don't know which one. Based on timing, it looks like I got it from her, so I think we are safe

[australiangirl]

Oh dear I must have read wrong haha! I was picturing herpes on the leg

All the stuff I'm learning about this condition I wouldn't be surprised if it appeared on a leg.

I'm hoping my husband is still negative. He has a dr appt this weekend to test.

Apparently the blood tests are not really effective my dr told me... Every dr seems to say different things and it's so confusing!

[lanancylee]

Well all I can say is this I doubt u got it from a toilet herpes doesn't spread that way no virus does not unless it's a cold or flu and your husband maybe the culprit but then again it could have lay dormant for a long time and just now appearing which I heard is possible but don't stress yourself because it can bring on more outbreaks antivirals do help a whole lot my dr put me on suppressive therapy which improved my condition tremendously. I have had hsv 2 for almost 3 years I get outbreaks on and off but mainly just itching and a rash haven't had an actual blister in a looong time and also in a relationship for about 3 years now I just hope for the best for u and your husband and live your life do not let it consume you ok much blessing and hugs [emoji4]

[justanothersufferer]

Well all I can say is this I doubt u got it from a toilet herpes doesn't spread that way no virus does not unless it's a cold or flu and your husband maybe the culprit but then again it could have lay dormant for a long time and just now appearing which I heard is possible but don't stress yourself because it can bring on more outbreaks antivirals do help a whole lot my dr put me on suppressive therapy which improved my condition tremendously. I have had hsv 2 for almost 3 years I get outbreaks on and off but mainly just itching and a rash haven't had an actual blister in a looong time and also in a relationship for about 3 years now I just hope for the best for u and your husband and live your life do not let it consume you ok much blessing and hugs [emoji4]

I started on suppressive the last couple of months and thank god. It has made things a lot better also. Sometimes I get itchy and I wonder if its an outbreak, but then I think it might just be the fact that I trim and its itchy so I can never be too sure. But yea it definitely beats the outbreaks I was having so regularly. If it was once or twice a year I wouldn't care.

[lanancylee]

Yes I know what u mean