don't know what to do

[secretsof]

I just got the official diagnose yesterday. I've had symptoms for about a month, but was still in denial hoping and praying it was something else. At the beginning I had an uti, a yeast infection, and two tears. It was the worse pain I have ever endured and then came the rash. I did not have sex for two years because I was taken advantage of by one of my best guy friends while I was too drunk to comprehend what was going on. However, I still got tested every couple months just for reassurance that I was clean. I took a sexual behaviors class and was very aware of all the risks of sex. But I just graduated and wanted to start dating again or at least start hanging out with guys again. I hooked up with two people in one week. They both told me we were not going to have sex. One thing lead to another and they both just stuck it in without my consent. I made both of them stop and felt very uncomfortable. I felt really shitty about myself and the situation. I stop talking to both of them. When I heard my diagnosed I contacted both of them. They were both very confused and said they were tested not too long ago and came back clean. I told them I did not blame them but would advise that they should get checked out again. I just don't want anyone else to go through what I went through.

I do not blame anyone but myself. But I am frustrated. I am scared. I am just trying to come to terms with it. I was already afraid of enough of having sex, but now I feel like I have the cherry on top. I feel like I can't catch a break. None of these guys were random hookups. I knew them for a very long time and trusted them. But now I don't feel like I can trust anyone. To make matters worse my next doctors appointment is in 2 weeks and I don't want to wait that long.

[JBnATL]

Hi there, you have definitely come to the right place. This website has the most accurate information on this virus and the people who come here are very supportive.

The first thing you need to do is to change your perception about what you have. Herpes is only a very common, mostly harmless virus. I have both hsv1 & hsv2 and am very clean. Having herpes does not make someone 'dirty'. Educating yourself about this should help you realize it isn't a big deal. 90% of all adults have herpes in one form or another. Anyone who has ever had mono, chicken pox or a cold sore is a Herpster.

Herpes is so common and harmless that the CDC even recommends against testing for it. So these guys you talked to may have thought they were tested for it when they got an STD test but chances are their test did not look for the virus.

I have been on this website daily for almost 6 years and have chatted with thousands of Herpsters and many of them have told me that getting genital herpes changed their lives for the better. Many people reevaluate their lives and start eating healthier, start working out and are more selective in whom they date.

I know it is tough to see this virus any other way, especially if you are suffering from an intense outbreak, but it will get better. The longer you have it the less you will suffer from it physically. Hopefully your immune system kicks in soon and your outbreak heals.

Good luck!

JB