Do 2 herpes+ people need to use protection?

[Guest Anonymous]

Could someone please tell me a few things...

My boyfriend and I both have herpes. Since we did not know for several months-(our sores had healed and doctors were unable to detect it-they told us we did not have it at all)- we continued to have unprotected sex-oral and vaginal. neither of us has ever had any symptoms on our mouths, but I am wondering if it is possible to spread to our mouth if we already have it on our genitals. I read something on a website about immunity from the mouth type if you already have the gential kind. Is there any truth to this?

Also, could someone please tell me about Vitamin C and Lysene? Should these be taken every day?

And one more thing, is vaginal birthing not an option? I read about being able to take drugs during the pregnancy to prevent passing it on the the baby, but on this site i've only read negative responses to the drugs (price, liver effects, etc.) I really don't want a cesaerian so any info is greatly appreciated. Please respond!

thanks

[Richard]

Did you read my article everyone should read this.. I reccommend you read that.. Its the facts... It answers your questions... About your birth question... Doctors need to know if you have HSV, they will give you a blood test when you become pregnant.. If you have HSV, they will pump you on certain drugs during your pregnancy... If your outbreaking they have no choice but to give you a csection... It usually doesn't happen though...

Rich

BTW, giving HSV to a baby could kill it... So you have no choice if you do outbreak near your due date...

[Faith]

BTW' date=' giving HSV to a baby could kill it... So you have no choice if you do outbreak near your due date...[/quote']

Exactly..if you have initial outbreak during the pregnacy (especially when it's close to the due date), it can be life threatning for the baby.

If you already have HSV, it's pretty much safe to be pregnant and to have a vaginal birth. Because your body already built antibodies, and that goto your fetus, and the antibodies will help to protect your baby from infection even. I've heard it's less than 1% of possibility that your baby get infected. But like Rich said, you don't want to have outbreak during the pregnancy (especially around the due date). So to tell your doctor that you have HSV is a MUST.

Unfortunately, it is possible to spread it to your mouth. (see Rich's Article) I've heard that HSV-2 doesn't prefer to be in mouth, so it's very rare to have HSV-2 in your mouth. But still, there is a possibility.

And... I've heard that if both people have HSV-2, they both are immune to the virus, so that they don't give it to each other. But, I've also heard a real story of a woman.. she got HSV-2 from her husband in genital area, but they continued to have oral-sex with no protection, as a result, her husband got HSV-2 outbreak in his mouth.

About Vitamins and L-Lysine... I guess it depends on the person. I take Vitamins everyday, but I take Lysine only when I start feeling the tingling and till the outbreak heals. Or I don't take any. I'm not sure how much you should take...

I guess, the key is, to make your immune system strong to prevent future outbreak or make outbreaks milder. You just have to experiment and see what works for your body..

Best wishes..

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

Help!

First off where is Rich's article?

I found out two months ago that I have HSV 2. I found out because last May I became very sick. My glands were swollen, I had a sore throat, a cough, and I slept constantly. I had never been so sick in my life and I was very scared. I went to the doctor a total of 6 times in two months. My glands didn't go down with every antibiotic they gave me. They also kept giving my stronger antibiotics. The last time I went to the Doctor he finally said you seem to have some virus that is staying around.

I then just tried to forget about my glands. All of a sudden in August I got really sunburned after a day at the lake. The next week I had constant pain in that area. CONSTANT pain. I went to my other doctor and she said that it was just a yeast infection. I asked her about the possiblities of it being Herpes. She said no, at this moment there is no indication that that's what it could be. She said "you have very healthy tissue". She did a culture anyway. Nothing came up. I've never had a sore or anything just I guess the "prodomal" part. I then decided that my doctors (two different doctors) weren't helping me. I then went to Planned Parenthood to have a blood test done. They called me two days later to tell me over the phone (horrible way to tell someone they have been infected) that my blood test was positive and that they would prescribe to me medicine. I've been to my doctor twice since when I was in extreme pain. She can't find anything and has done two other cultures.

My question, How long is the Primary infection? I have constant pain. I have never had any sores. Is this common? It's been 7 months, when will my glands go down. I've read that since I wasn't ever exposed to type 1, that when I was infected with type 2, it's worse(that's why I got so sick).

Will I ever feel better? I've been on Valtrex for two months and the pain is still constant. I can't even imagine meeting someone with this. It's been two months since I found out and I can't get passed this depressed outlook on life.

[Faith]

Hi,

The title of Richard's article is "EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS article 2 final", it's under Eerything Herpes in this forum.

This is just my guess..... but... to me it sounds like, you had a bad cold or something first, and that triggered off herpes virus that you already had acting up. Because.. "coughing" is not really a symptom of herpes. But stress that a cold/flu causes to your body can be a very possible trigger.

Anyway, if it's your initial outbreak of herpes, it must hurt a lot and it might last long. But.... 7 months....? I doubt if the pain comes from only herpes.....

When I had my initial outbreak, I was sick in bed for a long time, I went to emergency room twice, and my primary doctor, and gynecologist. I had lots of pain and fever. Though I had "bilster like" thing in my vagina, and was tested for herpes (regretablly, I don't know which test they did... I didn't know anything about herpes then) all the tests came out negative. They concluded the blister like thing was not herpes outbreak. There was tiny blister in other part of my body, but they all said that they didn't know what it was, and they didn't even get it culture done. But later on, I had a blister again and got the test for lesion culture, it came out HSV positive. Now I've studied a lot about herpes, and look back, ...judging from all the symptom and situation I had, I believe that the blister like thing WAS herpes outbreak, and it was false negative. Lesion culture test has to be done within 48 hours from the first symtoms appears, otherwise you can easily get false negative. And some blood tests can hardly tell which type of HSV you have.. So... herpes test can be very... tricky...

Physical pain gives you lots of stress, and does make you depressed. As you get recurrences more, the pain will be less and less. The symptom will typically become milder. And the more you learn about herpes, the more you see yourself objectively and feel better. Believe me. We all go through the stages... mentally and physically. And sooner or later, you WILL know that having herpes has nothing to do with who you are, and you will regain confidence, and feel like meeting someone and dating again. <smile> There ARE many people who love you for who you are. Your focus is now on "herpes", so it may not be easy for you to see it clearly, but don't worry, you WILL see that herpes doesn't make you less, it only makes you more. That's guaranteed.

But I just think that the pain you "constantly" have for 7 long months is unusual...

You must be tired of going to see a doctor, but... I would go see a doctor who is specialized in herpes, or... gynecologist (if you are female), to make sure where the pain is coming from...

Best wishes..

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

Thanks Faith,

It's just so hard to be positive after finding this out. I do have my positive days and then I have this reminder that it's not going away. I've been up and down.

I of course, didn't think I would ever get this and education on HSV is not so good. Considering, I didn't think you could get it when there weren't any sores on someone else and if you used a condom. I had sex with someone, one time, with a condom..... (it lasted all of a minute) and now I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I know that I have to forgive myself........that's the most difficult thing to do. I have had friends who have slept around etc. They never had anything like this happen to them or so I think. If I can have this, anyone can have it.

I find myself looking around and thinking......"it's not fair, they don't have it and they live so carelessly". But I really don't know who has it because of the horrible stigma (which I think could be the worst part of this virus) that comes along with it, people aren't very public about it.

I don't have to worry about telling anyone right now. I don't even feel like getting to know anyone or dating right now. I just feel really alone and I feel like I am going to be alone forever.

I have seen two different gynecologists.....one a specialist in Herpes.....she is actually on a board for research regarding herpes. She said she didn't see anything....and what she has seen has been all that I've seen. And that's when I was in extreme pain. It's just crazy and hopeless.

I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason........I may not know what the reason is right now but I will sooner or later. Right now I just feel the reason is that I will be alone for the rest of my life......That's my biggest fear.

Thanks again for all your help.......

[Faith]

Hi,

I feel you....What you just wrote was almost the same as I used to feel. <smile>

I too was very careful about sex, always believe in monogamous relationship, always used condom, ... but I got it. I felt so.. unfair.

But even before herpes, I felt that life was very unfair. I felt I was doomed to be alone. Probably it originally came from my childhood, because of my parents work, I spent time by myself most of the time since I was really small. So I'm kind of used to it, but I couldn't deny that I was very lonely. I always felt a huge empty hole inside. Then I faced divorce, being raped, having a uterine tumor and not being able to have a baby, ..and then herpes....... I felt that I was the most useless creature in this world. I had success in my career, people raved about me, I got so many nice words from people, ... but, nothing had made me feel good about myself.

I simply HATED myself and my life. I thought nothing would make my life "clean" and "beautiful".

Ok, this is my experience.... I hope it will help you someday.

I met someone in the beginning of this year. As we talked and spent time together, we both felt that we were special to each other. He taught me so many important things of life, I started feeling positive a little by little. He was the person I had to face the "telling" for the first time. I was nervous like crazy, but I told him that I had genital herpes, he accepted the fact and still loved me and cared for me. Everything was going well. But as our sexual desires rose, I started getting scared. On one hand, I was dying to be intimate with him, on the other hand I loved him so much, I never wanted to put him under the risk of getting HSV from me. I asked myself "Why? Why do I have to have this disease? I finally met someone so special. He is my happiness. Why God had to give me herpes and take him away from me?" I cried, I fought inside, but ended up telling him that I was not gonna have sex with him. It was so sad for me to make that decision, cuz I had to prepare myself to a very possible breaking up with him. I cried my eyes out... but I believed that was the best thing that I could do.

BUT..... ironically...... this incident changed my life to a very positive direction forever.

I realized the strength inside of me. I was so happy to know that I had strength to protect someone who I love so much, just like mothers love and protect their babies. And the fact that I could actually "do" what I believed was the right thing to do, gave me a huge confidence, and finally, I started loving myself.

No matter who I was with, I never felt confident and content like this before. Then I've come to know that whom I wanted to be understood by the most, and whom I wanted to be loved by the most, was me, myself!

Then everything started falling into places. Everything started making sense to me.

And I found the meaning in having herpes.

The guy and I took a break from us lately. He had his own things he was dealing with, and I still had to work on bad habits of my mind. I thought that it was time for me to be completely alone and grow as a person, and think about herpes itself and how I would deal with it when I have someone who I want to be with.

But I'm STILL happy. STILL content.

This doesn't mean, I don't feel sad at all. Now I'm single again, spending holidays alone. I sometimes do feel lonely. I sometimes do feel sad and cry (I cry too much anyway haha). But still... I'm feeling happier than ever.

And I know, if I keep doing the right thing at every little thing, everything will work for the best!! It's like preparing myself for oncoming happiness. What kind of happiness? I don't know.. But I just feel that I'm going in the right direction, because, ever since I realized that and actually started to do the right thing, my life began to flow very smoothly and pleasantly.

I think that everyone has different, unique life. Everyone finds who he/she is in different ways.

So... this is just my way of finding who I am, and understanding life.

But I -believe-, we can find the most valuable treasure in things which "look like" trash.

And we -never- have to feel hopeless. Because, every answer and solution, is inside of us.

But in your case, I'm still feeling that so much part of your hopeless feeling is coming from the physical pain. I still have some pain in my back and arms when I have outbreaks. The pain affect on our feeling and makes us emotional and depressed. I hope you can find the way to heal the pain.. Then I'm sure... you will feel much better already......

Please hang in...

You'll find the answer for yourself, and soon, herpes may become something you will feel thankful to. Because you're already trying to find the reason, you're already facing it. <smile>

Best wishes..

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

Wow Faith......

You really know how to make people feel special. I don't know what you do for a career but you may want to look into psychology or something like that.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You probably feel bad that you had no control seeing as though you were raped. I'm on the opposite end in thinking that someone loved me and it just ended up the worst decision of my life.

I'm sure that it will get better each day. And it so far has. The first week of finding out, I was in a cloud.....very out of it. I have a great friend who I can confide in but it seemed the first month everytime I saw her I would talk about it and I don't want to make her feel like that's the only thing that I want to talk about. But it seems that's the only thing I think about. For example it takes me 30 minutes to get to work. Today while driving in my car I didn't even have my radio on for the first half of my trip. My mind was just thinking and thinking. My job thank God keeps my mind off of it for most of the time I am there.

It just seems that it's on my mind the first minute I wake up.

Are you on Valtrex? Have you ever been? Does it work for you? How long have you been diagnosed HSV? (if you don't mind me asking you)

One great thing about this all, is that I found some great doctors. I mean great. The specialist I went to made me feel wonderful or almost perfect when I left there. She made me feel very comfortable and told me if I needed anything when telling a boyfriend somewhere down the road to call her and she would walk me step by step on how to go about it. It makes me wonder why she went into the field of being a STD specialist.....who knows what has happened to her in her life. She will also be the one to deliver any baby's I will have later in life. I'm hopeful for that.

I too wasn't happy with my life beforehand. I also felt that I would always be alone and now when I look back it makes me even more upset to think that I had it perfect back then and just didn't realize it. HSV also might be a blessing in disguise because now I know that I should be happy for what I have.

If I find someone some day I hope they will take the news okay and still want to be with me. I've read so many glory stories on this message board that I'm very hopeful. I don't think that I will get intimate again until the guy is absolutely ready to do so however. I don't think I will be making the first move after telling. That's fine with me anyway though. I would hate to give someone this however if they are "the one" they won't care more than likely. I just hope when I meet "that guy" he's not the one worrying about getting it everytime or thinking that I'm gross everytime.

I just can't believe how much different the stigma is between HSV 1 and 2. I've seen a lot of people with 1 ( I mean that's a noticeable one most of the time) and they live a normal life except for the occasional fever blister or cold sore. I hope that I can feel that way again-normal.

I'll talk to you later- but Thank you for helping me. It brought a tear to my eye. I really feel that something good is going to come out of this. I just hate not knowing what that is. But gosh it's gotta be something GREAT to make this all better......

[Lasmom]

Faith knows how to make people feel special because she isn't just special - she's a wonderful, gifted, generous person.

BTW Faith my love - you are not alone for the holidays. I'll be right here for you!

M

[Faith]

BTW Faith my love - you are not alone for the holidays. I'll be right here for you!

Ahhh.. thank you.............!! Yayyy!! :D

I'll be working like regular days all through the holidays... <sigh>

When I want to work, I don't get work. When I want to slow down or expect a vacation, I start getting many works... It seems like the pattern.. Very ironic...! haha..

Faith

P.S. And thank you -always- for your kind words....

[Faith]

I don't know what you do for a career but you may want to look into psychology or something like that.

Wow... thank you.... But it's funny. A long time ago, a friend who was studying psycology in college has told me that I would be terrible if I were a psycologist, cuz I show all my emotion on my face. LOL

I'm just always speaking from my true experience or what I truly feel. Cuz I believe that only -truth- can reach to someone's heart. Besides.. I just love to communicate.. I feel very happy when I understand someone and the someone understand me.

About Valtrex, ... No I've never taken Valtrex. I've taken Zovirax a couple of times when I had outbreaks. But I felt very weak, and I had horrible diarrhea. My doctor said that it was too strong for me, and stop taking it. So I stopped, and since then, I didn't take any of those antiviral. I guess... it depends on the person.. Because there ARE many people who have been taking it for a long period of time and doing very well with no side-effect. Some mentioned that Valtrex is very safe. Since every medicine (even chinese hebal) has some kind of possible side-effects, I think you just have to take it and see how your body react to it...

I've been having HSV-2 for a little more than 8 years. My case is too complicated to explain.... But ... at initial outbreak, I had false negative test result, and 7 months later I was diagnosed with HSV, but the blister appeared in a different area than genital or butt, and the doctor gave me wrong information and wrong medicine, plus I had no knowledge about HSV, I didn't know it was HSV-2 which I got it from having sex. When I found out all the truth was a few years later.

Anyway, I'm happy to hear that you found the great doctor. They are taking care of our body, and at the same time they have to take care of our mind... I think their job is very important. A gynecologist I went to recently was great, too. I had a problem with my menstration. She held my hand all through the time she explained my problem, and smiling. I felt so relieved...

I too wasn't happy with my life beforehand. I also felt that I would always be alone and now when I look back it makes me even more upset to think that I had it perfect back then and just didn't realize it. HSV also might be a blessing in disguise because now I know that I should be happy for what I have.

Yes, just like you said... we realize that we have beauty in life, only when we see ugliness. In other words, without a bad thing, we can't have a good thing. They are just different faces of one thing. And I think, the uglier is one side, the prettier is the other side. Life can be very balanced. That's why it's beautiful. I don't believe in 100% happy life, cuz even if there is, you can't even feel the happiness.

As you face the fact everyday, the pain in your heart is gonna be less and less. It's nothing but you are facing yourself, trying to find who you are. Once you know who you are, there is nothing you have to be scared of. And knowing who you are will definitely help you and your relationship to flow wonderfully, when you meet someone.

And since you can only see and feel everything in life through "you", if you change yourself , everything in your life looks and feels very different. In that sense, we can always change our lives. I've learned this from my own experience.

Please take care...

And thank you, too..

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

something id like to add.....befor herpes i took everything for granted; my health, my relationships, my friends, my family, everything. now i take nothing for granted. i care so much about my family and friends and when i do find that right person i will love them so much and never take them for granted. i guess sometimes you have to loose everything to gain something or you have to lose something to gain everything. also as a little encouragement i have now told four people. two didnot care, one was a jerk anyways and did care (but he just wanted casual sex, nothing more) and the other already had it. i was so scared to tell the last guy thinking he wouldnt want me, after i told and he said he had it too i got to know him a little better and decided i didnt like him anyways. ironic i was so scared of rejection and when that wasnt the issue anymore and i could proceed with the relationship i realized with or without herpes this guy isnt good enough for me. anyways good luck with telling. it does get easier. i tell everyone now, h doesnt make me less of a person it has made me the best i have ever been, in the things that count most

[lovely79]

Thanks Geneveve,

A month of contact on this website and I feel 10 times better. Yep, that was me as a guest.

I do feel a ton better. I don't cry anymore, I bet I go half of the day now without even thinking about it. (I'm so happy about that )

I appreciate you sharing your telling stories. That helps me out a lot. I know deep in my heart that if someone loves me this will not stop them. I mean if they do have a problem with it....they just didn't see what a great person I am and what I have to offer.

But there would have been those guys anyway. This will just get rid of those bad seeds quicker.

My friends have noticed a change in me the last couple of weeks. I've been much happier. I've noticed a change in me and it's so much better to be away from that "bad" place I was in. It's so much easier and better to enjoy life. I've noticed that I'm not taking many of the things I did before for granted.

Life is going to get much better and sweeter for all of us. I can't wait until I am able to post an inspiring story on this board. Next to falling in love-that will be an awesome feeling.

Thanks everyone for your help. You're lifesavers!

Lovely

[Lasmom]

You know Lovely, I was thinking the other day, you may be helping us more than we are helping you. Talking about this stuff, sharing, realizing you're not alone, helping another - it's all therapudic (sp?)

So I guess thanks for the therapy - you can thank us by helping the next guest.

I'm so happy you are finding your way. I have seen your posts and never thought you were EVER a guest!!! I guess me & Faith can take a breather now that you're here!!!!

[Faith]

You know Lovely' date=' I was thinking the other day, you may be helping us more than we are helping you. Talking about this stuff, sharing, realizing you're not alone, helping another - it's all therapudic (sp?)[/quote']

Yes, indeed.

Everytime I see Lovely's post, it makes me smile. She's been growing sooo powerfully.

Just reading her posts gives me energy, too...!!

Faith

[Guest Anonymous]

Need to talk

I don't exactly know how this works............not sure if Iam doing it right.

I read some post.......and wish I could chat with Lovely...this person seems to be an insiration to everyone. Iam very stressed right now, confused. Not even sure if I can ever find this site again.

Thanks

[lovely79]

Thanks Lasmom and Faith for your kind words. I do feel as if I am growing. I've really learned a lot these past couple of months.

Merge,

If you become a member you can send me private messages. Everyone on the message board can help though. If you just write it all down wonderful people like Lasmom, Faith, and Mc37pilot would help you to feel a lot better.

I'll try and send you an email.

Lovely

[lovely79]

btw,

This website is very therapuedic (sp)!

I think it does wonders helping others. It actually helps yourself.

lovely

[bittersweet]

I have been reading all of your posts and feel much better about what is going with my body. I am a 20 yr old woman who was diagnosed with HSV a month ago. I am not sure what type it is even though it forms by my genital area. I don't really go out much anymore and I am always sleeping to avoid my life, I guess. I gained 20lbs in one month. I guess someone could say I am a bit depressed. I am going to college and commute from my parents' house ( haven't fled the nest yet). My parents have always been supportive with everything that has happened to me. I am scared to tell them about this, though. I have never been afraid to tell themany. Also, I just went to our family doctor and I am a bit naive as to where to go from here . . . i.e. getting more information . . . getting more tests done. I just need advice on what my next step is. I'm confused and just need to sort out all these random thoughts have running through my head. I did nott mean to intrude on your conversation, but you all seem to be so helpful to eachother and I think I might need a little help now.

[bittersweet]

I have been reading all of your posts and feel much better about what is going with my body. I am a 20 yr old woman who was diagnosed with HSV a month ago. I am not sure what type it is even though it forms by my genital area. I don't really go out much anymore and I am always sleeping to avoid my life, I guess. I gained 20lbs in one month. I guess someone could say I am a bit depressed. I am going to college and commute from my parents' house ( haven't fled the nest yet). My parents have always been supportive with everything that has happened to me. I am scared to tell them about this, though. I have never been afraid to tell themany. Also, I just went to our family doctor and I am a bit naive as to where to go from here . . . i.e. getting more information . . . getting more tests done. I just need advice on what my next step is. I'm confused and just need to sort out all these random thoughts have running through my head. I did nott mean to intrude on your conversation, but you all seem to be so helpful to eachother and I think I might need a little help now.