So Depressed

[AloneForever]

My partner still won't even touch me after my diagnosis and it's been 2 months. I took another blood test and am awaiting on the results to see, because I still don't buy that I have it either. I am so sad, hurt and upset. I feel like I lost him for good, even though he still spends time with me. He gets tested soon and wont do anything until he does so, but has also made comments that if he doesn't have it he doesn't know if he would be physical with me because too its creepy for him. He's upset I accused him of giving this to me, but hes been my only sex partner. I am so sad. I'm worried he will go sleep with someone else or find someone else and leave me. I feel like I will never get him back sexually. Is it possible? I don't want to lose him, not because of this. It's killing me, please help

[SheIsBlue]

Hey jlt, welcome to the site. Sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately, it's a process of learning about and accepting this virus and not everyone can do that. Just wait it out for now and learn what you can about transmission and protecting your partner. In the end, if he is ok with it, great. If not, maybe he is not the partner that will provide the love and support you need during other difficult times. Keep us posted and let us know how it goes.

[VVK]

[uSER=60151]@jlt2015[/uSER] if I were you I'd be more worried about the signals he's sending you than him not being intimate with you; negative or positive, him or yourself, I'd be out of that relationship the moment he put that qualifier about it being "creepy" to be physical if he tested negative

[Elle22]

Sorry, but it sounds like you're not wanting to lose someone who is really inconsiderate of your feelings. I feel like that isn't going to go well even if he tests positive. It would be understandable for him to want to be cautious after finding out you were hsv+, but it is downright rude to call it "creepy" and strange that he'd be upset about possibly giving it to you despite being your only partner. These are red flags. Do you really want to be with someone like that?

[Dreamer10]

[uSER=60151]@jlt2015[/uSER] if I were you I'd be more worried about the signals he's sending you than him not being intimate with you; negative or positive, him or yourself, I'd be out of that relationship the moment he put that qualifier about it being "creepy" to be physical if he tested negative

Well said!!

[Dreamer10]

Sorry, but it sounds like you're not wanting to lose someone who is really inconsiderate of your feelings. I feel like that isn't going to go well even if he tests positive. It would be understandable for him to want to be cautious after finding out you were hsv+, but it is downright rude to call it "creepy" and strange that he'd be upset about possibly giving it to you despite being your only partner. These are red flags. Do you really want to be with someone like that?

this!!

[AloneForever]

[uSER=7662]@VVK[/uSER] [uSER=45754]@SheIsBlue[/uSER] [uSER=43565]@Elle22[/uSER] [uSER=47288]@Dreamer10[/uSER]

Thanks everyone for your support. I've been having a very hard time with all of this. Depressed a lot. Well now he is not talking to me the last 4 days. He withdrew on me and didn't want to hang w me on my days off like usual last week and when I had him call me to tell him my definite results (I got retested and now my blood work is showing up positive for Hsv2. ) he then blew up on me about everything and only was interested in my results and said he would call me w his results as if to blow me off like he doesn't want to speak to me anymore. Kept repeating I'm only a friend to him not bf and gf and we are just friends. Wow. My heart is so broken. I knew we weren't serious, but come on we were definitely more than friends more like non serious partners and dating. Especially with some of the things he had said and did, like his jealousy, saying things like "look at how you're acting and you expect me to want to be w you?" and "you were acting like you were pushing me away." I'm hurt and devastated and all I could think is omg is he with another woman right now? I'm really deeply paranoid he moved on by how he's acting. Maybe I am getting into my head too much and he just needs some space from me as I've been really picking at him and acting jealous since my diagnoses and he brought up he doesn't need the drama right now. When I asked if he was with someone else he said No, but who knows. If he did move on this really isn't the best time w an STD scare, it'd be stupid. Mainly bc he does not like to wear condoms and refuses to wear them ( I know red flag) I'm scared I'm going to lose him for good and I feel so abandoned with this disease. I wish he would try to work it out with me if it turns out he does have it, so we can talk it out handle this together. (That's another thing, when I said, can we please talk he said there's nothing to talk about bc we're not bf and gf) I'm terrified waiting for that phone call of his results. Maybe he will lie, maybe he will test negative. Maybe he wont ever talk to me again and not tell me at all. I can't shut my mind off. My mind is racing of all the possibilities. Maybe he pushed me away because he is worried now, I don't know.

[SheIsBlue]

Sorry, sweetie. I know how you feel. Maybe the best thing to do right now is give him some space until you both calm down and then try to have a conversation about what is happening and where you are both going.