Anxiety about pursuing relationships

[bluebandit]

Hey guys,

I'm trying to get back into the dating scene after being in a long relationship, and having some trouble. I've had gshv-1 for four years. My last boyfriend was really great after I disclosed and totally supportive. So that gives me hope. But it's still really hard to imagine disclosing to someone again. And at what point? I've gone on a few dates, but haven't found anyone that I care enough to disclose to. And of course, naturally, I want to experience sex and intimacy with someone and it's hard to wait. I've also all of a sudden started getting outbreaks, so that has really depressed me as well. I'm trying to decide if I should online date or find someone in my (non-H) community. I'm always better at ending up in relationships with guys I meet in person, but that was before I had to worry about disclosure. I'm so afraid of rejection, and what they'll think of me with this "disease". You'd think I'd be ok after having a 1 for 1 success rate, but I guess I just need more experience with disclosing. I should add that I've told barely anyone about my dx (basically my ex-bf and my ex-best friend are the only ones that know) so I'm worried about other people in my community finding out if I reveal it to dating partners.

[bluebandit]

Btw I did just find this though and think it's awesome. I'm loving this Ella Dawson. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/how-to-tell-someone-you-have-an-std

[Scared12345]

I am also recently single and afraid to date again. Afraid of passing it. I stayed in a bad relationship because of this but i could no longer take it. He is begging for another chance and hsv makes me want to give it to him so I don't have to deal with it but I know it's not right and we won't work we been trying for a year.

[bluebandit]

I understand where you're coming from, Scared. But when I broke up with my ex, I kept having to tell myself what many of people have said on this forum before - "Herpes should never be the reason you stay in a relationship". When I broke up with him, I thought to myself, "ok this means I am risking being alone forever. Which is worse - being alone forever or being in this miserable relationship?". I chose the former, and am hoping the universe will bless me someday with another willing and wonderful partner. That doesn't make it any easier now though, of course. Which strain do you have? I'm lucky to live in a metropolitan area with a ton of people with hsv-2, so you can always try to meet people through the H groups if that makes it easier for you.

[Scared12345]

I don't know I was diagnosed by eyesight. I assume it's hsv2. I come from a small town. Many have it my doc and pharmacist say but no one talks about it or discloses