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Medication Not Working- Contemplating Suicide


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I found out 5 weeks ago that I have hsv2. At the time I got tested I had no symptoms or suspicions because I had tested negative previously.

Prior to the negative test I was taken advantage of. The man I had sex with removed the condom without my knowledge or consent. The shame of this experience and disease is breaking my heart, more and more everyday.

When I first got the news I thought to myself 'wow this really sucks, as least I'm asymptomatic' Then a few days later after extreme distress I get an outbreak. It's on my vuvla, the crease of my leg, thigh, and butt. Then I think to myself- okay it's tiny dots, could be worse. I'll take the meds and get better

Then I realize the hsv2 has spread to my face. I was on accutane for 7 months. I know what was on my face wasn't acne. After having severe acne for most of my life- I had finally cleared up - prior to getting hsv 2 on my face. Extremely traumatizing, my dr said its very unlikely and it was probably just an irritation. However theres no mistaking it for herpes.

My gyno prescribes the generic valtrex. After three weeks of taking it I've had constant outbreaks. It seems like its cleared up but appears in a different location. I'm constantly tingling, itchy, depressed, and EXHAUSTED. So tired where I can barely get out of bed every morning. There has not been one day since being diagnosed that I've cleared up.

My dr doubles my dose, and says to take another regular dose directly after. After finishing the double dose, I am still getting and outbreak, which seems to be the worst yet.

Has anyone else not had luck from the medication? I've read that for 1% of people its ineffective. I'm assuming I'm that unlucky 1%. There has not been a day gone by since being diagnosed that I haven't wanted to be dead. When I walk to work, I think about jumping in front of a truck to end my misery.

I don't think I can get through life with constant outbreaks. If this were a manageable and treatable disease I would try to stick it out. The only time I get relief is when I'm high off narcotics sleeping the day away. I'm living in a nightmare, and I'll have this disease for the rest of my life.

I simply don't have any hope left or any motivation to live.

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Can you confirm how you were diagnosed with HSV-2? HSV-2 would most likely not spread to your face and is even more unlikely to cause the problems you describe. I think you need to find another doctor. Have these sores been swabbed for other possible causes?

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Welcome to the site, herp4life. I agree with Wilso; even if you have genital hsv2, the outbreak on your face does not sound like herpes. Seems more like an allergic reaction as your doctor suggested. Maybe see a dermatologist who knows more about skin conditions. The anti-viral meds do not work for me either. They are meant to put the virus back to sleep, but I am a stressful person, so I have more outbreaks than most people. Please listen when I say this virus IS NOT worth taking your life over. It is a virus that produces blisters, that's all. You should read the articles and forums and educate yourself on how to live with this virus. Staying healthy and avoiding stress are key factors in helping to keep the outbreaks under control. Things will get better. We are here to help you. You will be ok; I promise.

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Just because you have a positive result for HSV2, doesn't mean that the symptoms you're experiencing are from HSV2. The HSV2 could be dormant and something else could be causing what you are experiencing. It could even be a drug side effect. Valtrex and acyclovir can both cause side effects that are rashes. See a dermatologist and get some input.

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    • EnglishGirl
      Hi @Anxious 1234 Did you get diagnosis for this?
    • Damian
      Hi @WhatDidIDo2023, hopefully all is well with you and your significant other and are still together.   Did she develop any other symptoms after you mentioned her getting itchiness? Was it determined what you had was contagious? Most likely developed a fungal disease and caused her a yeast or uti 
    • notsure100
      Been a few weeks it went away but reappeared again tiny red marks not raised spots or anything no pain or itching ,I have had all negative tests on Sti's ..
    • Luna 01
      Well thank you I appreciate it 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Luna 01 I really feel it is worthwhile obtaining a proper Herpeselect test given the outcomes of the home panel test. Regardless, your current symptoms are almost certainly not related to herpes. Hopefully, your doctor can assist in resolving these.
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