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Gotta find a way to break this to people. Help?


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Ive had herpes for about a year now and am finding it really hard to tell people in a way where they dont freak out and consider me normal. Im finding that when i tell people they usually just shut down and stop talking to me or wanting to see me anymore. Its really starting to get to me but havent been able to find anyone to truly talk to about this openly. Your help and support would be greatly appreciated

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Welcome to the site, Servergirl. We are a society that is afraid of what we don't know. Unfortunately, herpes is one of those things most people are uneducated about. Some will be O.K. with it; some not. Going forward, you only need to tell partners you are going to be intimate with. Otherwise, this is a great forum for asking questions, venting or just talking with others who understand. I agree that dating is harder, but not impossible. Don't give up.

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Ys that's what ive been doing. Im not telling just anybody but i am telling the people that i intend to be intimate with but so far my success rate of them being ok with it enough to sleep with me still is super low. So im trying to change rhat around

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I have a post at the top of this Forum about how I have given the 'talk'. I have done so about a dozen times and have NEVER been rejected.

The key is HOW you give it. If you treat it like it is no big deal (which it isn't for most people) they should too.

And try to remember that should someone turn you down its not because of you, it is because of the virus. I have met thousands on this website and many have told me that getting genital herpes changed their lives for the better. I hope you can see the bright side to this too.

Good luck!


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Im coming around now for sure and i did see that post. Havent had a chance to use it yet but i definitely will next time. I think my biggest issue is, and i apologize if his is TMI, but ive got a really high sex drive and up until this happened, even though i was always careful about who i slept with, I've never been turned down. So its been a long time of feeling down about myself bwcause of it, but im going through a personal growth ohase and thats one of the biggest things in working on...telling myself that it happened through no fault of my own because i was straight up lied to, also that i have no control over it now so its a part of who i am and i just have to deal with it. Not quite to the point where i can say its not a big deal, but im starting to.

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I agree with JB - its all in how you say it. It sounds like you need to feel confident in yourself more too. Try to find activities that make you feel more confident, socialize a lot with really good friends - this way, as you learn to navigate disclosing, you won't feel so down if you are rejected. If you show confidence, someone will find that they trust you and give it a go :)

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