One mistake and...

[hsvhsvhsv]

Hello All,

I'm 37, I've had two girlfriends, one for 14 years since high school and my current gf of over 4 years. I never cheated before this incident......

I recently went on a joint bucks party for two friends to Thailand. I had unprotected oral and vaginal sex with a Thai bar girl. I have a beautiful, irreplaceable, angel girlfriend whose trust I betrayed. Sleeping with prostitutes is something I've always felt was a desperate act. I've also always criticised men who do so in developing countries as monsters who exploit disadvantaged women. To say I violated not just my own but my girlfriends principles and trust is an understatement.

The thing is, Thailand was so crazy, I guess it's so ingrained over there that I was hardly feeling like the predator I feel more like I was the prey, it is incessant attention, I rejected them for every single day of my 3 week stay except the second last night. Unfortunately with the mix of alcohol, valium (anxiety) and peer pressure I betrayed us. No excuses, I cant forgive myself for what I did.

It was already bad enough but now I have had an outbreak of lesions around my groin that are almost certainly herpes. I also have pain urinating, constant tingling all around my scrotum and also my lips and chin area. I have had a couple of instances of sharp pain in my lower abdomen like my urinary tract or something. Something I never felt before. I never had oral herpes or any STD.

I say almost certainly herpes, it is certain. Painful, ulcer type sores that blister and scab up. I went to a doctor yesterday and he seemed to believe they didn't look like herpes sores or anything bad. He said it was 'too late' since the event to be Herpes (they appeared after 2 weeks). He sent me for a blood test. He didn't swab the newest lesion that is still a sealed blister and probably a good candidate for a culture test.

My research tells me that he is completely wrong on every front. The sores can take all appearances. The window period is widely varied and 2 weeks is very common. The blood test is useless at this early stage (now 3 weeks since the event). I don't know if the test is IgG or IgM but either way its useless.

From reading this forum, it does seem to me that this disease is debilitating. For all the positivity, I see so many stories of people unable to have sex for many years, having OBs every month, suffering terribly. I feel resigned to that. I know that's not the attitude. I haven't told my girlfriend, and no I have not been intimate with her either. Its just, right now, to lose her on top of this is too much to bear. I am concerned because my professional life is so high pressure, I already suffer severe stress and anxiety, this disease could thrive in me and OBs will be constant.

Im sorry for the long post , I realise there is a lot of self-pity, I don't even know if it warrants a reply.

[JBnATL]

Please believe your doctor, he probably sees it every day.

I have been on this website daily for over 6 years and have chatted with thousands of people. I wish I had a $ for every person I met here who cheated on their partner and were POSITIVE they had herpes and later found out they did not. Feeling guilty can cause all kinds of symptoms even if there is no underlying cause.

There is one user here who cheated on his gf and was POSITIVE he had herpes. 18 blood tests, several swabs AND a Western Blot blood test all say he doesn't have it but he still thinks he does. Guilt is a strong emotion.

If you do have new sores/blisters go get them swabbed, otherwise you may have to wait 4 months to get another blood test for confirmation. Don't assume you have this virus especially if a medical professional tells you that you do not.

Good luck!

JB

[jim2k]

Hsvhsvhsv

I am one of those monsters you refer too. I,ve been going to Thailand dince 2007 2 to 3 times a year. I give you credit for holding out for as long as you did. All my trips i,ve come back with nothing. This past april i went for 8 days before i started a new job. I only slept with 2 girls. And when i got back my first sysmptom happened after 14 days after i slept with the first girl. My OB is very mild compared to what i,ve reading about others. I did go to an urgent care facility. The doctor there said the 2 pimples on my penis were herepetic. But blood test were negative. I,m waiting one more month to take another test. I am having an outbreak right now. The symptoms are just pimples on my buttocks. That are clearing up after 4 days. I still drink coffee eat choclate and exercise daily. But yet my OB are mild. The only thing i did use was lysene when there doctor prescribed aciclovar 5x a day. It made me too tired so i stopped and did the lysene instead. Give that a try it may help heal your symptoms faster. Just hang in there and stay positive. And get the blood test again to at least confirm it is hsv or to start figuring out what is if it is something different

[hsvhsvhsv]

Thanks for the two responses.

An update on my situation - I have confessed to my girlfriend and for the most part she forgives me. For the act she forgives me, but I can see her struggling with the idea of me having a disease I caught from a prostitute, and the effects this may have on her sex life.

I went to the doctor after my blood test was negative and showed him a newish sore that had been there for about 3 days, it has already burst but he swabbed it anyway. That came back negative and I really disagree with what he told me - that I am fine, to stop beating myself up and im in the clear. He has not once told me to have a HIV test or Hepatitis test, in spite of what I did. I really didnt approve of him just telling me the groin is a common area for skin conditions and sending me on my way...Anyway, home tonight I had a look I have another brand new sore on the side of my scrotum, its small blister looking thing with fluid so I'm going to a new doctor tomorrow to see if they can swab it for me.

JIM2K sorry if I seemed judgemental, I was only giving background into my own situation and beliefs. Having been in Thailand and in the midst of the craziness I now at least see in some way how people might find it addictive. I mean, its so surreal and not what I associated sex industry or sex tourism to be like, but my experience shows that it's obviously fraught with danger and risks.

I'm worried about my chances due to my stressful occupation, I'm wondering if I can realistically keep this job with this condition. If I have type 1 and get sores on my mouth then its all over.

What a horrible disease this is.

[WilsoInAus]

hsvhsvhsv, you do not have herpes. A scrotum sore is almost never herpes. This is not a horrible disease at all, it just is what it is. As around 70% of people have this condition it is never an issue for any occupation, it usually draws empathy and sympathy.

[hsvhsvhsv]

Well, I'm not so sure. I understand the sores can appear in all manner of places.

Two nights ago the tingling in my genital area was so intense. Today my groin is so tender and sore it actually affects my walking.

I have an appointment with a new doctor tomorrow for a second opinion. If by some miracle it's not herpes it's something else that needs medical attention.

[WilsoInAus]

You won't need a miracle. I am very pleased to be able to tell you that herpes does not cause those symptoms! I hope and feel sure it isn't anything too serious.

[Terrell]

Thanks for the two responses.

An update on my situation - I have confessed to my girlfriend and for the most part she forgives me. For the act she forgives me, but I can see her struggling with the idea of me having a disease I caught from a prostitute, and the effects this may have on her sex life.

I went to the doctor after my blood test was negative and showed him a newish sore that had been there for about 3 days, it has already burst but he swabbed it anyway. That came back negative and I really disagree with what he told me - that I am fine, to stop beating myself up and im in the clear. He has not once told me to have a HIV test or Hepatitis test, in spite of what I did. I really didnt approve of him just telling me the groin is a common area for skin conditions and sending me on my way...Anyway, home tonight I had a look I have another brand new sore on the side of my scrotum, its small blister looking thing with fluid so I'm going to a new doctor tomorrow to see if they can swab it for me.

JIM2K sorry if I seemed judgemental, I was only giving background into my own situation and beliefs. Having been in Thailand and in the midst of the craziness I now at least see in some way how people might find it addictive. I mean, its so surreal and not what I associated sex industry or sex tourism to be like, but my experience shows that it's obviously fraught with danger and risks.

I'm worried about my chances due to my stressful occupation, I'm wondering if I can realistically keep this job with this condition. If I have type 1 and get sores on my mouth then its all over.

What a horrible disease this is.

What is your occupation? I'm an engineer and I my stay calm