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Feeling extremely depressed


Hello989

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The reality of being diagnosed has set in an now I am sinking into a deep depression and I don't know what to do. I stay up all night with anxiety crying and feel like my world is over. I truly do believe I will never find someone ever. I can't fathom the thought of getting out of bed and I don't know what to do :( PLEASE can someone help and give some advice? I don't know if I can take this....

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The reality of being diagnosed has set in an now I am sinking into a deep depression and I don't know what to do. I stay up all night with anxiety crying and feel like my world is over. I truly do believe I will never find someone ever. I can't fathom the thought of getting out of bed and I don't know what to do :( PLEASE can someone help and give some advice? I don't know if I can take this....

I completely know how you feel! I was diagnosed only five months ago, and it was very hard for me emotionally. It still is at times, especially during an outbreak. It does get better though! You are not alone! I found that reading all the success stories on here truly helped me feel better. Someone else is going through the same things you are.

Many blessings to you! You can do this!!

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I completely know how you feel! I was diagnosed only five months ago, and it was very hard for me emotionally. It still is at times, especially during an outbreak. It does get better though! You are not alone! I found that reading all the success stories on here truly helped me feel better. Someone else is going through the same things you are.

Many blessings to you! You can do this!!

Do you feel ANY better now? I can't feel happiness anymore and it is really taking a toll on me. :(

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Do you feel ANY better now? I can't feel happiness anymore and it is really taking a toll on me. :(

I do feel better sweetie! You just have to take it one day at a time! Herpes does not make you who you are inside or out. I'm sure that you have people in your life that love you and think that you are a blessing to them. Read some the stories on here. There are many people on here that have found love, and stories of many women who have had babies. There are many people on here that have been happily married for many years. It's all very encouraging when you read them.

I know that it's hard right now because it's new to you, but I promise it does get better!

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It does get better! It's okay to feel bad for a while, but don't feel bad forever. At some point, you have to say enough is enough and just move on. This is just a virus. It does not say anything about who you are. I've had this since November. I was devastated at first and cried every day for about 2 weeks. I thought no one would ever want me again. But they have.. and that no longer surprises me because I'm awesome and they should want me. Give yourself time to work through it in your head, try to be positive, be compassionate toward yourself and other. This is just one of the many devastating things you're going to have to deal with and learn from in your life. Keep going!

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It does get better! It's okay to feel bad for a while, but don't feel bad forever. At some point, you have to say enough is enough and just move on. This is just a virus. It does not say anything about who you are. I've had this since November. I was devastated at first and cried every day for about 2 weeks. I thought no one would ever want me again. But they have.. and that no longer surprises me because I'm awesome and they should want me. Give yourself time to work through it in your head, try to be positive, be compassionate toward yourself and other. This is just one of the many devastating things you're going to have to deal with and learn from in your life. Keep going!

Have you had success with relationships? This is what I am most worried about...I feel unlovable and like my life is over. I am only 18....

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Have you had success with relationships? This is what I am most worried about...I feel unlovable and like my life is over. I am only 18....

I'm 27. I had one guy really want a relationship with me (and he knows I'm HSV+) but I didn't want to be with him. And I had a couple other more casual encounters. So I haven't had any successful relationships but not because relationships haven't been available. I just don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one; it has to feel right to me, and I'm picky. Finding the right person is hard with or without herpes. But if you read the success stories forum you'll see that many people do find happy relationships. Also, I've met MANY herpsters on here around your age that have found relationships.

If you haven't yet, google Ella Dawson. She's HSV+ and very confident about it. Reading her perspective has really helped me become more confident.

I felt unlovable when I was first diagnosed too. I had to step back and realize that I was spending a lot of time worrying about disclosing to a guy that didn't exist yet. Work on loving yourself right now, enjoying life with your friends, doing well in school/at your job/etc, improving your health. Once you feel loved by yourself and you see how little this really affects your life, you'll be more confident disclosing. Give it time.

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Have you had success with relationships? This is what I am most worried about...I feel unlovable and like my life is over. I am only 18....

Just thought I'd take this opportunity to offer the perspective of someone who entered into a relationship with someone who was HSV+. My current boyfriend of three years told me very early in our relationship that he had HSV2. I respected the fact that he was open and honest with me, as it allowed me the chance to forgo a long-term relationship with him before stronger feelings made it difficult to do so. I took some time to myself to consider what this may mean for my future, and he gave me the space I needed during this time. Ultimately, I decided to continue in a relationship with him because he is an incredible person, with or without herpes. In the three years since, we've had our ups and downs like any relationship, but on the whole it's been the most fulfilling relationship of my life (I'm 28 years old), and we've been talking about getting engaged.

It's true, not everyone will be comfortable entering into a relationship with someone who has herpes--and that's perfectly okay; it's their right to make the decision that seems best for them. I just want you to know that it is very, very possible to find a fulfilling relationship even if you have herpes. Many people are ill-informed about HSV, so try not to let their ignorance hurt you. You're still you, with or without herpes, and you will find ways to manage and cope with the condition.

Regarding the depression, I'm sure you know this, but it's completely normal. I was told by my therapist that people who contract this virus often go through the usual stages of grief, though not necessarily in order. You may shift or cycle through denial/isolation, depression, anger, and bargaining a lot in the coming weeks or months. Keep reaching out for support in safe places, and take it one day at a time.

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Hi,

I just want to let you know that we all know how you feel and are here for you. I can remember like it was yesterday when I was first diagnosed, lying on my couch under a blanket crying and feeling like my dog lying beside me was the only living being that would ever love me unconditionally again... I truly believed my life was over, wanted to drop out of college, and never get out of my pjs or leave the house ever again. I cried for weeks, and didn't want to see anyone, or want anyone to know. That was four and a half years ago, and today I can truly say that I have been able to overcome that feeling. There are still really hard days, especially when I'm having an outbreak, where I just curl up and cry, but on a day to day basis I actually usually forget I have it. I also want to give you the hope that you will be able to find a relationship and love again. I have dated a few people since I was diagnosed and telling them was the scariest part, but I was truly amazed at their reactions when I did. I think it might surprise you when you finally do tell someone, and they accept it and want to be with you anyway, you will feel so elated. It truly weeds out the good people from the bad, and chances are if someone is okay with being with you even though they may contract the virus, they're someone who's around to stay. I actually met my soulmate 2 years ago, and we got married in February. I never thought it would happen for me after my diagnosis, but it did, and today herpes still affects me, but it doesn't affect the love I have in my relationship. Don't give up, and if you ever need encouragement or someone to talk to, please message me.

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HI,

I have had HSV for 23 years and it's not easy at first to deal with it, but first of all remember this is something that won't kill you where other STD's can. It's really just an annoying rash that can be controlled with medication. I take Valtrex when I need it after time you will forget about it. When I met my wife 10 years ago we dated a few times when I saw things were going good I sat her down and explained what I had. I brought a book to show her what it was in case she didn't know anything about it now days just use a iphone. She said she had no problem with it would take the book and read about it. We got married a few years later and she has never contracted it herself this will be our 11th year together. Now I don't think about it much I hardly ever get OB's and I just take Valtrex when needed it only last a few days now every few years. Don't let this get you down get some meds to clear it up and keep it from coming back that will help. I don't know why but seems like in the UK they don't offer Valtrex let people just suffer with OB's was my impression from a UK HSV forum which is just a shame I don't know what country your in.

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You are not alone, Hello989. I feel like the only person I know with it in my area. I'm frustrated that there aren't any better treatments than valtrex, currently. Valtrex came out 20 years ago now and that's still the best we have.

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The reality of being diagnosed has set in an now I am sinking into a deep depression and I don't know what to do. I stay up all night with anxiety crying and feel like my world is over. I truly do believe I will never find someone ever. I can't fathom the thought of getting out of bed and I don't know what to do :( PLEASE can someone help and give some advice? I don't know if I can take this....

I know how you feel I was just diagnosed today. I have never even had an outbreak I wasn't even concerned that I had this virus and to hear I had it I had a nervous break down. I'm now laying here in the worst depression of my life just crying. I don't know what to do because this is so sudden.

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I know how you feel I was just diagnosed today. I have never even had an outbreak I wasn't even concerned that I had this virus and to hear I had it I had a nervous break down. I'm now laying here in the worst depression of my life just crying. I don't know what to do because this is so sudden.

Hold on pray and things will get better it's not a life threatening condition unless you worry to death

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Hold on pray and things will get better it's not a life threatening condition unless you worry to death

It feels that way too me. I'm still very young and to know I have this I feel like my life is over.

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It feels that way too me. I'm still very young and to know I have this I feel like my life is over.

I felt that way back in October wow! I wanted to died I didn't ever want to be intimate again ever. I let it stress me so bad I was diagnosed with gastritis which is worse than hsv. However, the hsv problem got better with prayer, time, and antivirals, multivitamins, etc. You could be lucky to get cure with respect to your young age, keep faith, hope. God bless

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    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
    • CHT
      Hello DavidGua.... based on the two pictures, I'm not seeing anything that resembles a typical herpes outbreak.  I am not sure what those spots are on your penis.  Please have a doctor take a look and I'm sure you'll get a proper diagnosis.  Have you ever received an HSV antibody test (IgG)?  Again, I doubt your symptoms are herpes-related but, if you'd like some peace of mind, you could request the IgG antibody test for HSV2.   Best of luck.... let us know if you have any other questions/concerns.
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