Disclosure when unsure?

[usagi666]

Greetings,

writing in because 2 weeks ago I had safe sex with someone with herpes. He was on meds and hadn't had a break out in a long time, but I know the risks. A lot of people who are close to me have herpes and I know it's nothing to freak about.

Well I haven't had any outbreaks or symptoms, but I know that some people don't get symptoms. I am going to get tested tomorrow, but I read online that if I don't have sores then the only way to test is a blood test, and those results may not be accurate for several months (???)

So I haven't found any guidance for this situation on the internet, but my question is: If I know that I had (safe) sex with someone with herpes, but I also know that I may have asymptomatic herpes and there may be no way to know for sure, is it my responsibility to mention to the next person I sleep with that I had previously slept with someone with herpes?

Just confused so any advice helps.

[november13]

I don't know that I've ever heard any advice on this before, so I don't know what's the standard way of dealing with it, so people may disagree with me, but I don't think I would say anything.

If you had safe sex with someone on meds who hasn't had an outbreak in a long time and you're not experiencing any symptoms, you most likely are fine. Yes, there's a small chance you contracted the virus, but that risk is SMALL. And any time you sleep with someone there's a risk that they have something, whether they know or not or whether they tell you or not. If you plan on discussing your and your new partner's sexual health before having sex, I'd just say you haven't been tested since your last partner but plan to when the results will be accurate, but you practiced safe sex; then, you can ask your new partner if they are okay with that. As far as you know, you are clean and have been safe, and that's all they need to know. That's what I'd do unless I had reason to suspect otherwise.

But, if you feel that isn't honest enough for you, go ahead and discuss it with your new partner. I don't think there is an absolute right answer in this situation. I don't think you are morally obligated either way, so do what feels right when you're there, and get tested when you can!