Tenofovir Gel

[Bukx]

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2015/08/05/experimental-gel-could-prevent-genital-herpes-infection?page=2

[JBnATL]

Thanks for sharing, but I did get a laugh when the article mentioned about "negotiating" condom use

JB

[Gothic Beauty]

There's actually a 2nd article on this. [uSER=16520]@JBnATL[/uSER] most men never want to use condoms. I've actually had some lie to me and tell me they were allergic. Phfft!!

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2015/08/05/experimental-gel-could-prevent-genital-herpes-infection

[Dezgusted]

There's actually a 2nd article on this. [uSER=16520]@JBnATL[/uSER] most men never want to use condoms. I've actually had some lie to me and tell me they were allergic. Phfft!!

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/articles/2015/08/05/experimental-gel-could-prevent-genital-herpes-infection

I've had so many women tell me that same line (counting the one that put me here). So just know that BS goes both ways. Their may very well be some people sensitive to latex or other rubbers and lubes, but I would give almost anything to go back in time and tell myself "don't trust that evil, lying she-devil or any others for that matter", but wouldn't we all if we could.

[tom343]

Yeah my ex girlfriend manipulated me into not wearing a condom by saying I didn't trust her etc, I asked her had she been tested and was she clean and she was like I can't believe you're asking me this and well yes, I ended up with herpes.

[mcmich]

Always used a condom for sex, but not always for oral. The only thing I knew about oral transmission was to not kiss or have oral sex while a person is breaking out (seems this is what most doctors think too). NOW know that people shed 9-18% of the time (or something like that) without any visible symptoms.

Anyway, I am in same boat as Tom. Did not have a condom so would not have sex, but the girl really wanted to have sex and caved in for unprotected oral sex (she performed it). 5-7 days later (starting to get fogging - 5 years ago) I broke out. Nice! Been celibate ever since. Don't want to do to others what happened to me!

Actually, what really makes me mad here is there are senior members that tell people on this board to not worry about it if the have facial herpes. They assume most people have it, so their recommendations are not to disclose their status, not to use antivirals and not to use protection if they do not want to. If their partner gets infected, don't feel bad, they probably had it already and it is their fault for not insisting on using protection. 50% of all new genital infections in developed countries is caused by HSV1. These type of recommendations are what fuels the spread of this disease. We should NOT assume everyone has it and to use whatever means we have to stop the spread (abstinence, condoms - male and female, disclosure and antivirals)!

Also, people say HSV1 does not cause as many breakouts or problems as HSV2 genitally. Not studied as much so studies are to small to really know, and there are many people here and on other boards that have HSV1 genitally that have severe cases. The studies do not seem to coincide with the pain and break outs people on these boards have with HSV1 on their genitals.

Lastly, spent many years saving links to studies and posting these links to back my arguments. Senior member poo poo'ed all over the links to studies I posted and said they were no good, yet never offered any links to show what studies were done to refute the studies I read. One in particular comes to mind. Both Famvir and acyclovir show that if these antivirals are taken during initial infections, the latent pool of the virus will be smaller, thus potentially leading to fewer outbreaks in the future. Poo'ed on it since they used mice or primates in study (don't remember now - you can look up some of my old posts) . Said mice/primate testing is no value but offered no proof. Many current studies are still using mice/primates, including some of the vaccines people are really excited about.

[Gothic Beauty]

Yeah my ex girlfriend manipulated me into not wearing a condom by saying I didn't trust her etc, I asked her had she been tested and was she clean and she was like I can't believe you're asking me this and well yes, I ended up with herpes.

A condom doesn't protect you from herpes. I don't know why any woman would insist on you not using a condom unless she was attempting to have you "accidently" impregnate her & then demand child support. I've lost respect for several former female friends who did such terrible things. A child should not be used as a tool to get money. It's absolutely shameful.

[tom343]

A condom doesn't protect you from herpes. I don't know why any woman would insist on you not using a condom unless she was attempting to have you "accidently" impregnate her & then demand child support. I've lost respect for several former female friends who did such terrible things. A child should not be used as a tool to get money. It's absolutely shameful.

It depends where your sores are and how it is shed. Her ones were inside her vagina and from where I have symptoms I would have been protected with a condom. She wasn't looking for a child although this does occur as you stated, she had an armbar but even for women sex supposedly feels better without a condom so that's why she wanted me to not wear one plus other reasons as stated above.

[tom343]

Anyway, I am in same boat as Tom. Did not have a condom so would not have sex, but the girl really wanted to have sex and caved in for unprotected oral sex (she performed it). 5-7 days later (starting to get fogging - 5 years ago) I broke out. Nice! Been celibate ever since. Don't want to do to others what happened to me!

Yeah, this is stuffed. I mean as you said hsv1 is growing so massively in the genital area and there are plenty of ppl who seem to suffer as much as hsv2 because everyone's bodies are different and they react differently.

[Terrell]

I've had so many women tell me that same line (counting the one that put me here). So just know that BS goes both ways. Their may very well be some people sensitive to latex or other rubbers and lubes, but I would give almost anything to go back in time and tell myself "don't trust that evil, lying she-devil or any others for that matter", but wouldn't we all if we could.

I feel you

[mcmich]

Yea....same here...unfortunately we cannot go back in time. Girl really really pushed to have sex. Wish I had stuck to my guns and said no, but thought oral sex was safer if there were no visible breakouts (did not know she had facial herpes - nor did she tell me). Looking back, it was almost like she wanted to pass this disease.

Another thing that pissed me off is a member tried to tell me genital herpes is no big deal, same as oral herpes. Can't believe that anyone really believes that. Try telling a girl at a bar or when you first meet that you have genital herpes. Pretty sure 95% of the people will say sorry and move on. It freaks people out. Where as oral herpes are cold "Coldsores" and people don't seem to associate it as being so bad.

[JBnATL]

Another thing that pissed me off is a member tried to tell me genital herpes is no big deal, same as oral herpes. Can't believe that anyone really believes that. Try telling a girl at a bar or when you first meet that you have genital herpes. Pretty sure 95% of the people will say sorry and move on. It freaks people out.

Medically genital herpes is no big deal. Until the 1970s it was thought of as the same as cold sores because there is very little difference between hsv1 & hsv2. Even today in some countries they are thought of as being the same.

Personally I have told about a dozen women and have NEVER been rejected because of this virus. Go to "The Secret to our Success" section of this website and you will find hundreds of stories from people who found someone did not care.

There used to be a regular who came here, Liz, who would tell guys all the time at bars that she had genital herpes in hopes they would stop hitting on her, but she gave up because it never worked

JB

[mcmich]

Not my experience. People freak out.

Also, would never want to pass this to anyone, so choose to stay celibate! Would not feel right if I infected someone! That is just me!

[mcmich]

Since you are a staff member, maybe you should hold a group meeting with other staff. Think you need to go back, reread newer data and see the projections on how many people are being infected with HSV1 genitally. Then ask yourselves, is it really the right thing to do in telling people with HSV1 on their face to not disclose, not to use antivirals and not to use protection for their partners.

Remember, it is a fact, 50% of all genital infections are caused by HSV1. Then take a poll, and see how many people here with genital infections feel they can lead a "normal" life! Also, take another poll to see how those of us that were infected by oral transmission think it is ok not to disclose and the infected partner will not use protection. Maybe even a third poll to see if people have been accepted or rejected when they disclose they have genital herpes. Results would be interesting.....

Also, I think you are the exception and not the rule ( though at a dozen women after infection you have acceded my entire life dating total - and I am old)! Just takes one wrong date.......

[JBnATL]

Since you are a staff member, maybe you should hold a group meeting with other staff. Think you need to go back, reread newer data and see the projections on how many people are being infected with HSV1 genitally. Then ask yourselves, is it really the right thing to do in telling people with HSV1 on their face to not disclose, not to use antivirals and not to use protection for their partners.

Remember, it is a fact, 50% of all genital infections are caused by HSV1. Then take a poll, and see how many people here with genital infections feel they can lead a "normal" life! Also, take another poll to see how those of us that were infected by oral transmission think it is ok not to disclose and the infected partner will not use protection. Maybe even a third poll to see if people have been accepted or rejected when they disclose they have genital herpes. Results would be interesting.....

Also, I think you are the exception and not the rule ( though at a dozen women after infection you have acceded my entire life dating total - and I am old)! Just takes one wrong date.......

All "Staff" members here are volunteers. We receive no special training and are not compensated for our time here. We each have our own perspective in living with this virus. Most moderators came here when they were first diagnosed looking for support and have chosen to stay here to help others. I have never said that those who have hsv1 oral should not disclose. I can't speak for other moderators. We do not have meetings or calls where we discuss what we should be advocating or not advocating in our posts.

I have been coming to this website daily for over 6 years and have chatted with thousands of Herpsters during that time. Not only have people told me that once they learn about what they have they do get back to being 'normal', many people have even told me that getting genital herpes changed their lives for the better. They reevaluate their lives and many start to eat more healthy and start working out and are more selective in whom they date. And having chatting with so many I am confident that more people than not are NOT rejected because of this.

JB

[Dezgusted]

Not my experience. People freak out.

Also, would never want to pass this to anyone, so choose to stay celibate! Would not feel right if I infected someone! That is just me!

[uSER=55767]@mcmich[/uSER], I feel the exact same way, I've only been with one women one time (who I met on an hsv positive dating site) in the 15 months since my diagnosis. I use to be a very sexually active guy, now nothing. So it kind of annoys me when I keep hearing people on here say "just go on and live your life" I can't just go around putting women at risk like that. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, and I've got enemies who deserve bullets. Plus the whole idea of having "the talk" kills any sexual desire I have. So that pretty girl that gives me the eye that use to get my attention will now get an awkward smile as I walk away wishing I had my old life back.

[mcmich]

I know. I told one person just to see the reaction. Instant pity and then keeping a distance.

If the was no real "stigma" attached to this no one would care, but the reality is the majority of people will shy away from people with genital herpes. Thus the reason there is a major stigma associated with it. That is the reality. JB seems to be the exception to reality.

[Idk286]

I

[uSER=55767]@mcmich[/uSER], I feel the exact same way, I've only been with one women one time (who I met on an hsv positive dating site) in the 15 months since my diagnosis. I use to be a very sexually active guy, now nothing. So it kind of annoys me when I keep hearing people on here say "just go on and live your life" I can't just go around putting women at risk like that. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, and I've got enemies who deserve bullets. Plus the whole idea of having "the talk" kills any sexual desire I have. So that pretty girl that gives me the eye that use to get my attention will now get an awkward smile as I walk away wishing I had my old life back.

I am a female newly diagnosed with hsv2 had no idea no symptoms at all. and any desire I had to have sex has since been diminished as soon as the news was given to me. It's sad because I'm only 24 this should be the best time in my life and it's turning into a nightmare. And it aggravates me everyone's overly peppyness about this virus my life can't be normal and never will be normal. I feel horrible. And I don't see any light at the end of tunnel currently. I'm happy for everyone's success stories but I am not optimistic.

[Gothic Beauty]

It depends where your sores are and how it is shed. Her ones were inside her vagina and from where I have symptoms I would have been protected with a condom. She wasn't looking for a child although this does occur as you stated, she had an armbar but even for women sex supposedly feels better without a condom so that's why she wanted me to not wear one plus other reasons as stated above.

It really doesn't matter where your sores are. It's the shedding that causes it to spread. The genital area includes your upper thighs and lower back. It's not just the genitals themselves. The guy who infected me had no symptoms at all.

As for this woman you talk about, I personally don't think it "feels" any different whether a man wears a condom or not. It sounds like she was feeding you a line of bullshit and took advantage of your trusting nature.

[Createss Galore]

I

 

I am a female newly diagnosed with hsv2 had no idea no symptoms at all. and any desire I had to have sex has since been diminished as soon as the news was given to me. It's sad because I'm only 24 this should be the best time in my life and it's turning into a nightmare. And it aggravates me everyone's overly peppyness about this virus my life can't be normal and never will be normal. I feel horrible. And I don't see any light at the end of tunnel currently. I'm happy for everyone's success stories but I am not optimistic.

I can see why you feel horrible, and that life now seems like a nightmare, and that life seems to no longer be normal, and no light seems to be shining in the tunnel. The peppyness that you encounter is because some have suffered very little impact from the entrance of H into their lives. Others have been impacted but are determined to lead normal lives. Many have been impacted severely and refuse to accept that it matters. All of us speak from our own experience, but some who suffer little do have compassion and sympathy for those who suffer much worse, and their comments will reflect that. One thing that we all have in common though, no matter how we disagree on the life impact of HSV is this: you have to take what you've been dealt and create a new life that you can tolerate and that can make you happy. You have to develop hope in your future. That is a common thread that runs through the posts of those who try to advise and encourage. It is just said differently, and can sound callous to those who are living with the devastating truth about how HSV is wracking their bodies and therefore, their lives.

There are those who may promote that nothing has changed. I'm not including them because that statement is ludicrous. There are those who have never experienced an OB, but they know they are positive, and they may promote that nothing has changed. I'm not including them. Their statement is ludicrous because they could pass it on to anyone, so how is it that nothing has changed. But those of us who accept that life has changed, no matter to what level, all have the same cry: Get up! Get busy building a new, positive life filled with possibility and potential. You can do it. You learn to manage your condition. You gather strength, make new friends, find new jobs, learn to communicate better, move to new places, build courage, learn new hobbies, take up new recreations, embrace faith, get help, get motivated, look up. You laugh again.

I'm not peppy nor depressed. I fall in between. I am one, though, who thinks that we need to be sure to share with others more than what some are promoting. I learn towards the importance of telling a potential partner the possibilities of the worse case scenario (that he/she could very well get it from us and all of what that could mean), rather than exclusively telling them that they most likely won't get it, here's the proof, and not to worry.