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Newly diagnosed, may have infected someone else by accident...


Pseudonymph

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Hi everyone, I've just joined here after doing a Google search for support forums.

I got diagnosed with H yesterday, having spent the previous day shaking, shivering and in pain. I know this might sound bad to say, but I'm not too sure who I got this infection from. My regular sexual partner has been tested before and he tells me he came back clean (as do the other people I've slept with). I don't know who to believe anymore, but either way it's not like I can reverse things now.

The day before my diagnosis, I had anal sex with my partner (as my symptoms weren't too bad). That now most likely means that I've infected him, too. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I've now got a life-long incurable infection, but if I've unknowingly passed it on to him then I have no idea how to even begin to apologise for that.

I just.. I guess I've been naive about STDs up until now; I followed the assumption that only people who 'aren't careful' get it, or that you need to have been really unhygienic or something to catch it. I remember when I was in school and we had sex-ed talks, and I took one glance at the STD photos and thought 'I don't need to worry about that'.

I'm in a bit of a mourning phase right now (mourning my life without HSV and also wishing I could pee without jolting in pain).

Sorry if this is a bit of a speech, I just don't feel like I have anywhere to turn right now (as my partner is hugely upset by the prospect that he might have caught H from me too).

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I'm sorry you are going through this and I wish I could give you some words of wisdom. But like you, I am new to this. I should get my results tomorrow but I already know that I am positive. I woke up itchy and sore this morning so took a look and of course, more sores.

Your friend is probably scared, shocked and confused and that is normal but you didn't know. Hopefully in time he will come to understand that.

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Unfortunately, herpes is not included in most standard STD panels. This leads to people getting tested and assuming they are free of everything when they may not be. As for the peeing, you might try peeing through an empty toilet paper tube or tampon applicator to direct it away from tender areas. You can also pour warm water over the area while going which could also help.

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Yeah, in the past I've only had the urine test for chlamydia and gonorrhoea. I just assumed that they were the two most common and that I wouldn't need anything else.

I'll definitely try the toilet roll tube/tampon applicator thing... when my body decides to let me pee again. I'm completely blocked up right now and can't go :(

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As for the peeing, you might try peeing through an empty toilet paper tube or tampon applicator to direct it away from tender areas. You can also pour warm water over the area while going which could also help.

I've found that pouring water onto dry skin hurt quite badly, but the tampon applicator trick worked (when I positioned it right!). Thank you so much Elle xxx

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Same situation. I unknowingly infected someone. Thank goodness that someone, while waiting for his own results, is super cool and kind and keeps in touch... he actually still finds me desirable, imagine that. I've apologized via text and on the phone and he's objective enough that he too should have practiced safe sex. We're both at fault. Go get your meds. After the 5th day on mine, I was able to pee painlessly again.

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That's reassuring to hear, singlemom, my friend went to get tested today, so now we'll just have to wait and see what happens regarding that.

I started taking Aciclovir on Saturday... so I'm currently on day 3 and the pain is still hellish. I really hope that in 2 days I'll be able to pee freely!

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Psudonymph, what are your symptoms? What was your sexual history in the week leading into symptoms appearing? What tests have you had done? When are the results expected?

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Psudonymph, what are your symptoms? What was your sexual history in the week leading into symptoms appearing? What tests have you had done? When are the results expected?

Symptoms - red line which developed into a cut/sore, blisters, pain, inability to urinate (for a day), swollen area, dark discharge, huge fever for a good couple of days.

My sexual history was pretty regular, only p-in-v sex with a regular partner. If anything I probably contracted it when I was living abroad for 9 months (which ended 2 months ago) - I had slept with 3 people during that time.

The tests I had were a visual check, and swabs for things like B.V (and whatever else can be found via swabbing I'm not sure). I'm due to get the results in about 2 weeks.

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If this is herpes then you'd have been infected a few days before those symptoms appeared, hence your current partner will be the source. Not sure why it will take 2 weeks for results, they are usually ready within a week.

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That's reassuring to hear, singlemom, my friend went to get tested today, so now we'll just have to wait and see what happens regarding that.

I started taking Aciclovir on Saturday... so I'm currently on day 3 and the pain is still hellish. I really hope that in 2 days I'll be able to pee freely!

I TOTALLLLLLLY UNDERSTAND! This is a living hell... Urination was hurting SO BAD that I was sure I was either going to throw up or pass out. I've never been in so much pain in my entire life. BUT..... I have to say God answered my prayers with Dermoplast! OMG I CAN PEE WITH LITTLE TO NO PAIN! You can get it at your local drug store for like 12$ (Make sure it's the can with the blue lid not the red one) and it's the only thing that's keeping me together. I was horrified at the thought of getting tested but I needed to do something fast because it's unbearable, the pain in indescribable. Before I had went to the clinic, I was trying to drink as little as possible which left me dehydrated and unable to practically walk at all because my bladder was enormous. DONT DO THAT! I'm lucky I didn't end up in the hospital with a catheter to empty my bladder!

Anyway at this point I'm handling this primary outbreak pretty well thanks to the Dermoplast. So go buy some!! Good luck!

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    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
    • CHT
      Hello DavidGua.... based on the two pictures, I'm not seeing anything that resembles a typical herpes outbreak.  I am not sure what those spots are on your penis.  Please have a doctor take a look and I'm sure you'll get a proper diagnosis.  Have you ever received an HSV antibody test (IgG)?  Again, I doubt your symptoms are herpes-related but, if you'd like some peace of mind, you could request the IgG antibody test for HSV2.   Best of luck.... let us know if you have any other questions/concerns.
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