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GHSV1 disclosure advice? :/


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Hi everyone,

So, I've been "seeing" ( I guess that's the word to use... nobody seems to use labels anymore so...) this really nice guy for a few weeks. We met on a dating-app. The first time we met in real life was actually right at the beginning of my first outbreak. He wanted to hang out during it (after I was dx'ed and knew what was going on aka in bed sleeping and eating l-lysine/acyclovir) but I told him I was sick. I also told him that I had a cold sore anyways (I was lucky enough to get it both orally and down there :) ). He made a joke about it and how I'm the whole package now.

Anyways, so he knows that I have it orally. I hadn't told him that I have it down there because I wasn't sure if we were going to get physical, but considering that we're going on a weekend adventure this week, I think we will.

I guess part of me wants to talk to him about it prior to us leaving, because I don't want him to feel trapped/tricked.

The other part of me is nervous what his response may be, and that he might be like "ok yeah well nevermind about this weekend then" but I realize by thinking that way, I'm putting my wants/needs in front of his.

I guess I was thinking of hopefully meeting up with him this week (I've been sick the entire weekend, and am still a little sick - but hey - no outbreaks!!!) and asking if he was planning on hooking up this weekend and then asking when the most recent time he's been tested was as well as showing him my test results.

But I'd love any advice at all. I know some people say not to disclose but I have a really huge guilty conscience. And I know that he knows that I have cold-sores already, but what if an outbreak is triggered, I feel like it would be hard to explain that afterwards. <3

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Tell him before the weekend adventure. If he takes it horribly then you are going to be stuck somewhere. If you tell him before and it's bad it will be awkward but at least you'll be home and not somewhere random with him. Good luck!

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Tell him before you leave. I think your plan is good. Tell him you wanted him to know before anything happened over the weekend and that gHSV1 is hard to pass genital to genital and female to male and the risk is reduced even further with a condom. Then, show him this sheet:


On there it shows that oral herpes is riskier, and he was already chill about that, so this shouldn't be any different. Try to be calm and confident when you talk about it.

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