kit_N

[kit_n]

Hi.. I've been serchin the net to find someone to talk to about my NEWLY found diagnoses.. THANK YOU for any responses.

[MsLucy]

Well, you found the right place. Sorry for your bit of bad news, but there's lots of nice people here to help you along if you need info, support, or just to blow off steam. It's been a life saver for lots of us, me included. Feel free to jump on in, and welcome.

[kit_n]

thanks-

I was just diagnosed 4 days ago, with herpes. My husband and I r almost sure I got it from him. His ex had warts at one time and gave them to him, but he said the doc froze them and he was treated. But so far all the things I've read say there is no cure for them is this right? and then he had another one who had "shingles of the mouth" so she said and she was treated... So could I have gotten it through him?.. He is really upset thinking he did this to me when he didnt even know... this was 30 yrs ago, he and I have been together for 3 yrs.

I went to the doc because I was hurting in my groin area, the nurse at work thought it may have been a clot or a pulled muscle. so off to my doc I went... she ordered a ct scan of my pelvis and the results came back that I had a cyst on my overies. THEN she sent me to my previous gyno and he took one look at me and said.. oh, i know what the problem is... you have herpes..... and i said "WHAT" thats when he told me it wasnt the end of the world and at least I wouldnt have to worry about cervical cancer because he had removed my uterous.. I'm sure most of you know how I felt.

I'm having trouble dealling with this... I have only been married for 1 1/2 yrs and I feel like the rest has been stripped from us. I know my husband should have checked things out way back then.. especially since he knew they cheated on him... but he trusted them. Now we have to live with this.

I'm scared for the both of us, I'm afraid to touch him, kiss him and everything else.... so if anyone else can help us... THANK YOU... and sorry for making this so long----

I was looking for a place to chat with others but cant seem to accomplish that.

[awake67]

Quite Normal

Hi Kit N,

You may lead a perfectly normal life having herpes. I'm just surprised that your husband had herpes for 30 years and never had an ob to acknowledge it. In any event, from now on, you both may want to "check" those areas to assure that there is no ob going on. When herpes is in submission, there shouldn't be a problem of an ob (unless you over-indulge).

Being worried sick won't assist this situation. Try to calm down with whatever works for you, soft music, relax in the pool..something that calms the nerves (no alcohol/drugs please - they slow the immune system). I hope your doctor prescribed remedies for you. There are a number of remedies listed in the treatment post on this forum.

You may want to take the time to read some of these posts, as they are quite helpful for those who have just joined the Herpe Community.

[kit_n]

still lookin for the sunshine

Hi AWAKE

my husband thinks his ob was 30 yrs ago, that was when his exwife gave him warts. They went to the doc and he said the doc froze and burned them.. But I told him acording to what I've read so far that there is no cure for them either, but then this is all new to us. He just asumed that THEY were taken care of. Then last yr. he remembered getting a rash on his abdomen and the doc prescribed something that didnt work and was sent to a dermotologist, who then put him on Aldara for 3 alternate days and wash off in the am.... since all this has happened to me in the last few days, he's been thinking maybe all of his instances have gotten us where we are now. Maybe he did contract herpes from his ex... but why didnt he have more ob through the yrs? Is that possible?

anyway, I've been on the drug famvir and it seems to be getting better, as far as the symptoms goes.. but now what? after they have cleared up, is that the remission your talking about?

Is it ok to kiss him? I know its silly but I dont want to give it to him if he wasnt the one who had it, you know. I know theres alot of different info out there, and sometimes its overwellming all at once....

I thank you for your input and anyone elses... IT REALLY DOES HELP, it's better knowing than being in the dark... K

[Caliope]

Kit-N - Lets just assume your husband has had herpes for 30 years. Sometime in those 30 years he had some kind of symptoms which maybe he didn't pay any mind to. In those 30 years his body had enough time to develop antibodies (or a recipe for them) and it's been protecting him but they can't protect you.

So along you come and you've never been exposed to herpes. You come into contact with the virus and it causes symptoms and you see a dr and you are diagnosed. Your body will develop its own antibodies (recipe) and it will take a while to perfect it and it will then be there to assist you through future ob's.

Back to Hubby. He has an antibody recipe that works. This recipe will kick in if the virus becomes active or if your ob effects him and he may not have an ob. He may even have been infected in other areas but his antibodies prevented an ob.

Your body will deal with this differently than his. You have your own immune system. The first year after exposure is the time when your body fights the most with the virus as it perfects its antibodies but as time passes, if you take good care of your health, your ob's will become less and your antibodies will help protect you.

The Famvir will help you to fight the virus while your antibodies get up to speed and although you may have other ob's, it is possible that you won't and it is possible but unlikely that you will re-infect him from kissing etc.

I hope this helps.

[kit_n]

Is the storm begining to end?

Caliope -I see the recipe thing..kinda like an immunity so to speak and since I'm a NEWBIE I havent aquired mine yet.

I'm assuming this is my first ob, at least I've never had any other symptoms that I know of. Will this be my worst, or is this just the begining? It really hasnt been unbearable... Mostly scared and I cried alot the first few days. I guess thats because we are very close and I feel that we cant be... thats one of the hardest parts.

Thanks for your help... I may still have alot of ? but I'm feeling somewhat better now. I get home from work and this is the first place I come too. I'm glad you all are here. ~K~

[Caliope]

kit-n - there's no reason you can't be close but you may prefer to let your ob heal completely before you dive in completely. Hugs and kisses really shouldn't be a problem.

Usually the first ob is the worst for most people. For me I had no initial ob so when many years past and I had one it was quite painful and shocking but since then it has mostly been just an irritation. My guy is hsv negative so it gives me a worry but mostly that I don't infect him not because it is so physically uncomfortable for me.

Your immune system is your best friend when you have hsv. Take good care of it and it will take good care of you. Make sure that you take your vitamins, get a good nights sleep every night, drink lots of pure clean water and stay away from things that hurt you like excessive smoking, drinking, suntanning, fast food etc.

BTW - those hugs and kisses have healing properties so make sure you get plenty.

[kit_n]

I can see the beginings of a RAINBOW

Caliope~ THANK YOU so much for your help

I cant wait until hubby gets home to read this. Not to mention the change in my attitude, he'll be so happy.

I was just afraid to get close, for fear other things may happen and then he may be sorry. I told him someone had to be strong... He's Italian... lol

I'm also glad to hear this may be my worst ob, because like I said it wasnt that bad. I had the swelling and the burning, but the itch was nasty! and my BUMPS are almost gone. So tell me how will I know it's in remission? I still have 2-3 days left on my med. I was just wondering how I'd know... Believe me I'm in no hurry to DIVE, I want to be safe. If it takes another few weeks then so be it.

After the remission ends, so to speak, I will probably get the tingly feeling and maybe the pain in the groin again, Right? Will it be somewhat like it was this time? or does it vary? (the symptoms I mean)

YES I will try to take care of myself, especially now that I know what to do and you can bet I will give him plenty of hugs NOW!!!!!

Thank you again....~~K~~

[awake67]

Knowing Remission

Try to be patient and wait even after all the bumps are gone and the scab is peeled off. The first ob could last weeks and the virus needs to be nestled in its hiding place (at the base of the spine). This may take up to another week or two. It's really hard to tell on the first ob because of the unsettlement of the virus, which is floating about your system.

Friction in this area is enough to trigger an ob, as well as over-stressed for a long period of time and run-down of the immune system.

You may feel strange in the groin area for a while. Don't forget that herpes is alive and moving. They are feeding off of you now and as your group of antibodies grows (your immune system grows stronger), these virus find there living quarters at the base of the spine. I don't recall if I had groin issues my second ob, it was so long ago.

My advice is to be patient. Very very patient.

As for hugs and kisses, well, this is not for me to say. If I have self-control, I wouldn't worry about kissing and hugging. Hey, I'm Italian, Sicilian to be specific, and I have (some) self-control!

As mentioned, every BoDy is different and perhaps your system is above average in immunity. Feel free to consult your obgyn. This person will examine and give more accurate advice.

[kit_n]

I can see clearly now the rain is almost gone

~Awake~ I was checking the bumps and didnt notice anything, like nothing had been there, no scabs either.. whats up with that? Is that norm?

Yes I do still feel tender in the groin but not a constant pain.

I didnt realize that the H actually was moving around inside me, that's kind a freaky. But at least I will get stronger to fight them off.

I ran into a prob at work. They wanted me to take care of a patient who had shingles, I'm thinking that wouldnt be a good idea, am I right? I still would like to know if there is some kind of connection with H, shingles and warts, do you know?

I want you to know how much I appreciate all the info here.. My doc told me very little, as if I were to already know about this.

[Caliope]

Shingles and Warts

Shingles is caused the Varicella Zoster Virus which is the same virus that causes Chicken Pox and is in the herpes family but is not the same. When it shows up as Shingles it is like a rash, it is usually on your trunk and causes pain in the same way as hsv because it attaches to the nerves. Some people get it on their face. It is more common to see in the elderly and the immunocompromised. It wouldn't be a risk for you unless you've never had Chicken Pox.

As for genital warts they are caused by the Human Papilloma Virus and is not related to herpes.

I agree with awake67 and that if you are experiencing tenderness you may want to refrain from sexual contact because there is still something going on and it could trigger an ob or some sensitivity.

[kit_n]

viruses

~Caliope~ Since I have herpes, then my husbands genital warts had nothing to do with me contracting the H, is that right ?

So the genital warts didnt cause me to have an ob?

Hubby wants to know what triggered his ob on his abdomen and what was it? His doc gave him some cream to use and it didnt work and she sent him to a dermotologist and he gave him a script for ALDARA, to be used 3 alternate days and wash off in the am. (this happened a yr ago)

He ended up with warts down there from his first wife, 30 yrs ago. (they were frozen and burned off- he thought they would be gone after that, because he never had anymore to show up until last yr.-on his abdomen- and just last week I had my first ob of H)

So its possible none of this is related to the other?

[Caliope]

Genital warts are caused by an entirely different virus than hsv. I cannot imagine any reason that one would effect the other.

As for the hsv that you've just broken out with I would guess that it is a newly acquired infection but it is still possible that you may have had it for years in a latent form and this is the first time you've had an active ob.

Usually when someone is newly infected they get some kind of new symptom that they have never had before and it sends them to the dr. Often times it is a very difficult initial ob where the immune system is very effected and the person experiences symptoms ranging from something like a very bad flu accompanied by blisters to mild itching that the person thinks is just an allergic reaction. Heck I thought I was allergic to tampons and then I thought it was laundry detergent. I just never had typical symptoms.

Since you are assuming this came from your husband the best course of action is for him to get a blood test to see if he has antibodies for hsv in his system. I don't recall if you said he has or has not been tested. As for the rash he experienced it is possible that they did not test him and just guessed the source of his rash and this may explain why the medication did not seem to help.

[kit_n]

I think this is the first time I've ever had an ob. I dont remember ever having any problems before. But I guess its possible, and I didnt know it. I did go to a doctor with poision oak and guess where? OMG that was horrible.

Hubby went to see the doc yesterday after reading your note and they told him he was diagnosed as having molluscum contagiosum, all I know is it is in the std book I got from the library. He still thinks he may have givin me H. Anyway he has an apt with his family doc on monday, and I guess she will test him.

He says it doesnt matter to him if he aquires H from me, because he says its not like going out and getting it and bring it home, it will be between us. I think he should just stay away ya know. You have a guy in your life right? How do you 2 feel about it? I know WE have to be careful.. but its still possible to pass it to them.

Regardless, I'm dealing with this better now. I'm not criing every hour and I'm learning bit by bit. ~~K~~

[Caliope]

kit-n - if you are asking me about my relationship yes, I have someone and as far as I know he is negative for hsv.

We've been together for more than 2 years and in the middle of that time is when I was diagnosed. We both tested negative in the beginning and then in January I tested positive. I use suppressive therapy (Famvir) and we abstain when I have symptoms.

In my opinion - In a marriage I believe that there has to be trust and there has to be commitment for it to work. It doesn't make sense to play the blame game or to be frightened of sex. Usually both partners have been exposed to each other physically so it is easy to predict that what one has so does the other or it is an accepted risk. If you are happy and contented why mess with stuff. This virus should not have such a big impact that it is allowed to ruin something good.

[kit_n]

Suppresive therapy is when you take it every day to control the symptoms right?

I just finished my script yesterday, and so far everything seems fine.

If the symptoms come back soon, then I need to get back on it right?

Thanks ~~K~~

[Caliope]

No you don't need to take it. HSV can be managed without meds and some people do just as well or better with just diet and vitamin supplements.

I take antiviral meds because my guy is negative and I want to keep it that way. I also take daily vitamin supplements.

I've also found that I only get ob's as a result of stress which has been bad this year.

[kit_n]

UPDATE ~~ Just to let you know where things are for now.. Hubby's blood test was possitive and my swab was also.

Thanks to you all for your help and info...... THINGS WILL GET BETTER:)

~~~K~~~

[starphyse]

No you don't need to take it. HSV can be managed without meds and some people do just as well or better with just diet and vitamin supplements.

I take antiviral meds because my guy is negative and I want to keep it that way. I also take daily vitamin supplements.

I've also found that I only get ob's as a result of stress which has been bad this year.

awww stress sucks hugs to you.