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Disclosure story

optimisticcali

By optimisticcali
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optimisticcali Honeycomb Member

optimisticcali

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So I have been reading this web site for a couple of years, but never registered before today. I was in a relationship with someone who also had the herp for several years but that ended and then I went on a dating site for positive people and dated several people off of that over the first year I was single, but the pool was definitely limited and as more time passed I really felt like I was limiting myself. Anyway I went on to a "normal" dating site and I connected with a woman and she seemed great, so fast forward we went on our first date and we totally hit it off and I completely forgot about my herp and was 100% myself, and then she asked me to walk her home and then she asked me to come up to her place and the next thing I know we're getting pretty hot and heavy, now I had never been in this position before but I had read a lot on this site, and others, about the best way to disclose and everything I had read had said do NOT do it in the heat of the moment, but I did not want to go any further without being honest, so I grabbed her hands (so she'd stop going down my pants) and said "hey I've got to tell you something" and she said okay what is it? And then I said something like "Do you get cold sores? Well, a couple of years ago I found out i have the virus that causes them" and she said "Oral?" and I said "No down below" and she was like "Okay well I dont have it but lots of people do" and that was it. I spent the night. We didnt have sex but we came awfully close and I am sure we will be seeing each other again. Maybe I just got lucky my first time, but I have to say that I have been agonizing over disclosing for years (I stayed in that other relationship longer than I should have because of that fear) and now that I finally did it I am not only relieved but filled with hope. Again I may have gotten lucky with this woman, but I do think my honesty and how comfortable I was with myself all night played a role in her reaction. Just thought I'd share it with you guys here. 
 

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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Mature, totally mature is the key thing that comes to mind. Both from you in terms of your forthright honesty and in her reaction. You found a real understanding woman, good on you.

Do you know your type, that's pretty important to the flow of these types of dialogue.

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optimisticcali Honeycomb Member

optimisticcali

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Thanks Wilso. I have type2. I have basically been a-symtomatic for the last year (not even any pro-drome). Ive changed my diet quite a bit and take daily suppressives. 

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optimisticcali Honeycomb Member

optimisticcali

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Thanks Shels. It's (very) early days, but it feels damn good to have broken my "disclosure cherry" and put myself out there. 

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optimisticcali Honeycomb Member

optimisticcali

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You just have me a boost lol I wish you could disclose for me lol kudos to you though very brave am mature

I'll actually be in New York next week for work, but it may seem weird if I join you guys for the talk ;).

 

Seems like you have a guy that really likes you already. You may be surprised by how he reacts. 

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girlygirl702 Honeycomb Member

girlygirl702

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Hahaha imagine that like a disclosure mediator  I appreciate the gesture tho I'll just wait on it and take it slow and hopefully once it gets serious and we form a lot of trust then like you I'll pop another disclosure cherry I just don't want to disclose until I know for sure its serious 

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