We agree there is an overblown stigma because ignorant people think herpes is only derived from promiscuity. But stigma doesn't make the symptoms and likelihood of transmission disappear. No matter what, you're faced with telling someone you want to be with that the most intimate part of your relationship will be extremely risky and they may end up dealing with the terrible pains also. Please, be a little more realistic about it instead of lying to yourself and pretending that squashing the stigma would cure the disease and solve all the problems w/dating. I think there is nothing wrong with preparing to deal with it ahead of time. You prepare yourself for everything else in life, don't you? In this case, if you turn up positive then you're more prepared to handle it. If you're negative then you just won the lottery. Don't deny the facts in order to cater to your emotions...you're kicking the can and it will only make things more difficult later. As far as not being diagnosed yet, some of us are dealing with poorly educated doctors who rely on outdated information to make their decisions. So we're left with diagnosing ourselves and struggling to find help. I don't think I need an official diagnosis to know that herpes antiviral medication relieving me of herpes symptoms after sex with someone who knowingly had herpes, means I have herpes. Denying that would be stupid. And even though these posts may offend others who are still sensitive about it, they help me cope knowing others share the same feelings and situations.
Anyway, my goal either way would be to always remember the pain it put me through, to count my blessings and be more grateful for things, more responsible, and more compassionate toward others dealing with any illness/depression. Suffering is constructive in many ways. It just takes time to realize it.
@SomethingsUp have you read any of the success stories? Might help.
Don't worry there is help on here and lots of people who you can talk to and the chat room is always a good place to ask for support. I'm afraid I don't know much about PCR blood tests. Perhaps it's because I am in the UK and we tend to use igG testing.
I can understand your frustration but there will be an answer to this and getting a blood test will help shed some light.
@LucyLevi thank you for trying to be helpful. When I discussed it with my doctor that it's impossible that I have herpes, she gave me the look of "Don't you think I've seen a lot in order not to diagnose one". My Ob was very severe to a point that Zovirex would burn for long hours
after reading more about herpes symptoms and how they look like, I got fully convinced since Everything said that I have it. That's why I'm not doubting at all that I have herpes.
My ob are gone now and I should wait 12 weeks to get tested.
Moreover, my current bf did a PCR blood test and it was negative. I've read that they can be the most precise results. My past partner told me that he got checked and he was clean from everything. I'm just so frustrated right now and depressed.
I am no expert but in the absence of more useful answers here are my thoughts:
I think you should have a test if only to find out whether you have HSV1 HSV2 or none, Knowing which it is makes a difference. If you get active sores you can get them swabbed. If not you can get a blood test after 12 weeks or so. I'm surprised your health care provider did not do a swab.
The result described above is is a skin test not a blood test. So I'm guessing he had a swab test for evidence of genital HSV which could show negative if no active lesion is evident. Also it won't confirm if he has an oral infection of HSV1. Is it possible your boyfriend has cold sores in the past and has passed you HSV1?
Likewise he could get a blood test and as 4 months have elapsed since his last partner that could be now.
Hope this is helpful.... and take care there is lots of help available on here and people who are a lot more informed than I am who will chip in!
Makes you wonder how sick this poor man is and here he is working so hard to help people with this shitty virus. I spoke with him on the phone one time. He gets how horrible this virus is. He's talked to scads of people who suffer endlessly from nerve pain and constant outbreaks as well as the psychological aspects of it. He really cares. I hope his health improves. I thought his comments about it tricking out immune system made sense. It's an insidious virus.
I just read his blog thank you @cantdoit
I thought his parting message said a lot about his determination in respect of his own health issues
If you ever saw “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” all I can say is, “I’m not dead yet.” Let’s save mourning for when it’s appropriate. in the meantime, let’s get ‘er done
Real message about positivity
Halford just commented on his blog which is good because he'd been a bit quiet which was concerning given his health issues. He also made an interesting comment about how this tricky virus dupes our immune system into not attacking the virus and to just living with it. He feels his vaccine will wake up our immune systems and encourage it to attack. Very interesting. May explain why many have severe issues and few don't.