Jump to content

Need to write it out.


lookinforadvice

Recommended Posts

So just need to put my thoughts down somewhere I won't get judged. I broke up with a long term relationship over the summer with a girl I thought I was going to marry. So you know the saying best way to get over someone is to get under someone? Well I took that and went over board with it. Tried to get with everyone I could. I was always safe, always. Used condoms every time no failures. About 2 weeks ago with a girl that was slowly becoming bang buddies with I slipped up and didn't use one. Few days later started to feel like I was peeing razor blades no visual signs or discharge so let it go by a couple of days until I could not stand the intensity of the pain. It got to the point where I'd rather the pain of holding my bladder all day with no relief than go to the washroom. I go into urgent care tells me it's unusual for my age and being a male that I'd have a bladder infection and would just give me the standard drugs for the common STIs. Great cool, chlamydia. No biggie. 3 days later I notice my first blister after it already popped and turned into an ulcer, I start freaking out! Tell my one buddy who had a similar scare earlier this summer so I at least have someone to talk to. We both deny it's Herpes, it didn't look anything like any of the pictures on google prayed every night that I got lucky and it was something else. 3 days after that I go back to the urgent care cause the peeing pain has drastically decreased but was still present and should have been gone according to the doc. Show him the almost healed sore and with the worst bedside manner I've ever experienced "Looks like herpes, but I can't tell." So now I'm freaking out and praying that nothing else shows up, thinking that I would be lucky and this would be the only sore I'd get and everything would go away and I'd be back to normal with just a scare. This morning after a night of heavy partying because it was homecoming :P,  I notice 3 blisters that look textbook Herpes right around the first sore, no more denying it any more. So gotta deal with this shit for the rest of my life. One thing I've noticed though and I'll consider myself lucky, but other than the burning with pee which I'll contribute to the initial outbreak, the blisters are just there I don't feel them, they aren't itchy or painful and like I said I didn't even notice the first one until it got bigger after it popped. Now I'm seeing the girl that most likely gave me all this and I have no idea how to talk to her about it. After doing a lot of reading she probably doesn't even know she has either of the things I was infected with but I still feel mixed emotions I am angry with myself and with her I don't know if I'll be able to handle the talk tonight. My brain is all over the place and if you've read this far, thank you. As for my life style it's pretty structured I play football at my university so between meetings film practice and class there's not much room for anything else at least until November, so stress will be minimal until exams and assignments are due.

After the first outbreak what's the typical time frame I can expect for the next one? Probably a hard question to answer I guess since everyone is different. 

For those of you who haven't had outbreaks in long periods of time, like 8 months plus how many OB or how long did it take before you got to that point. 

I'm a pretty level headed guy but I really freaked out at first but after doing a lot of reading it really doesn't seem as bad as society makes it out to be, I guess I'm looking for reassurance from first hand experience that my observation is correct. I'm still having a hard time believing it happened and I have H and I hope that you guys will put up with a post now and again when I can't talk to anyone else. 

I'm really glad this forum exists and there are people out there that care enough to help us out. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are correct, having this virus isn't as bad as society makes it.  Millions of people have this and live completely normal lives.  I have been on this website daily for over 6 years and have chatted with thousands of Herpsters here and many of them have told me that getting genital herpes changed their lives for the better.

You may never have another outbreak, or you could have one next week, there is no way to know.  Right now your immune system is just now creating antibodies to fight this virus so the virus could pop up again before your immune system suppresses it.  When I first became a Herpster I had 3 or 4 outbreaks a year but the longer I had it the less often they popped up.  I have had it so long I haven't had an outbreak in years.  

Hopefully your doctor who did say it looked like herpes gave you a prescription for antivirals.  If so, start taking them at the first sign of another outbreak.  The earlier you take them the better and if it isn't an outbreak the antivirals will do you no harm.

Good luck!

JB

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So just need to put my thoughts down somewhere I won't get judged. I broke up with a long term relationship over the summer with a girl I thought I was going to marry. So you know the saying best way to get over someone is to get under someone? Well I took that and went over board with it. Tried to get with everyone I could. I was always safe, always. Used condoms every time no failures. About 2 weeks ago with a girl that was slowly becoming bang buddies with I slipped up and didn't use one. Few days later started to feel like I was peeing razor blades no visual signs or discharge so let it go by a couple of days until I could not stand the intensity of the pain. It got to the point where I'd rather the pain of holding my bladder all day with no relief than go to the washroom. I go into urgent care tells me it's unusual for my age and being a male that I'd have a bladder infection and would just give me the standard drugs for the common STIs. Great cool, chlamydia. No biggie. 3 days later I notice my first blister after it already popped and turned into an ulcer, I start freaking out! Tell my one buddy who had a similar scare earlier this summer so I at least have someone to talk to. We both deny it's Herpes, it didn't look anything like any of the pictures on google prayed every night that I got lucky and it was something else. 3 days after that I go back to the urgent care cause the peeing pain has drastically decreased but was still present and should have been gone according to the doc. Show him the almost healed sore and with the worst bedside manner I've ever experienced "Looks like herpes, but I can't tell." So now I'm freaking out and praying that nothing else shows up, thinking that I would be lucky and this would be the only sore I'd get and everything would go away and I'd be back to normal with just a scare. This morning after a night of heavy partying because it was homecoming :P,  I notice 3 blisters that look textbook Herpes right around the first sore, no more denying it any more. So gotta deal with this shit for the rest of my life. One thing I've noticed though and I'll consider myself lucky, but other than the burning with pee which I'll contribute to the initial outbreak, the blisters are just there I don't feel them, they aren't itchy or painful and like I said I didn't even notice the first one until it got bigger after it popped. Now I'm seeing the girl that most likely gave me all this and I have no idea how to talk to her about it. After doing a lot of reading she probably doesn't even know she has either of the things I was infected with but I still feel mixed emotions I am angry with myself and with her I don't know if I'll be able to handle the talk tonight. My brain is all over the place and if you've read this far, thank you. As for my life style it's pretty structured I play football at my university so between meetings film practice and class there's not much room for anything else at least until November, so stress will be minimal until exams and assignments are due.

After the first outbreak what's the typical time frame I can expect for the next one? Probably a hard question to answer I guess since everyone is different. 

For those of you who haven't had outbreaks in long periods of time, like 8 months plus how many OB or how long did it take before you got to that point. 

I'm a pretty level headed guy but I really freaked out at first but after doing a lot of reading it really doesn't seem as bad as society makes it out to be, I guess I'm looking for reassurance from first hand experience that my observation is correct. I'm still having a hard time believing it happened and I have H and I hope that you guys will put up with a post now and again when I can't talk to anyone else. 

I'm really glad this forum exists and there are people out there that care enough to help us out. 

Hey lookinforadvice, welcome to our family :) ! What you need to do is get an IGG Herpeselect blood test or get a culture/swab of these sores to determine if it is the herps virus. We can get many things from sexy times and oral pleasures and this includes yeast, fungal, bacterial and viral viruses. The culture can determine if this is herpes. The blood test can type this herpes, like h1 or h2. It could be type 1 from oral pleasures. Most don't know that cold sores can be passed to genitals. It would be considered Ohsv1 transferred to Ghsv1. It doesn't mean because it is in genital location that is automatically Ghsv2, it could be Ghsv1 (G=meaning genital and O=meaning orally). If you have ever had a partner give you oral pleasure, you could have Ghsv1. This occurs most often then we think. So many get oral cold sores from older family members and without knowing pass it to another partner during oral pleasures. Cold sores/Fever blisters are in fact Herpes Simplex Virus.

If you go to College clinic or Planned parenthood they can test you for this by swab/culture or blood test to determine what you have. My daughter attends university too and we see tons of young adults on campus with visible cold sores. Most do NOT know they are carrying the herpes simplex virus. Using condoms even when they don't fall off or break, you can still get the herpes virus with a condom when properly fitted.

The best thing to do to start the talk is ask the girl if she has ever had cold sores, perhaps her family has a history of them. Let her know what they are. This providing this girl gave you a blowjob. It could have come from years past or very first sexual experience. Don't try to figure the who or where, just try to get properly diagnosed for your pain/discomfort and for your own personal health. Many things out there in" sexy land" can harm you in the future, be responsible and get yourself checked properly. I see a lot of young adults (especially in college) who don't want to get checked for fear of what they may learn, but trust me you need to do this for yourself honey, you are worth it :) .

Please just let me add NOT ALL ABOUT Herpes IS TEXTBOOK, mine sure as hell was not. :(  I have Ghsv2 and my first outbreak (we say, ob) lasted 4 months long along with a bacterial and additional fungal infections which made the whole situation much worst. You wont know if this is herpes until you properly test, so get tested and try not to stress this okay. I know its hard but trust me, I know how that initial diagnosis can hit you like a ton of bricks, but get tested before you jump to conclusions that it is herpes and something really very serious. Keep us posted and just know there is never anyone here going to judge you since we ALL know and can relate to everything you are feeling. Hugs honey, get checked. Aces

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies! I'm going to go to an actual clinic that knows what the hell they are doing (I was not happy with the doc in urgent care if you can tell) and get a full screen for more than just the stuff the urgent care place tested for. I really tried to talk to the girl tonight but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I feel like I will have to write it out and send it to her, I do not think I have it in me for a face to face discussion right now because if she wasn't the one who gave it to me I feel absolutely terrible for exposing her to this. I am going to start with telling her about the Chylamida infection and that she needs to go get tested for everything before anything else can continue between the two of us. Time will tell and I pray I did not give her anything and she can go on with her life and not have to worry about this crap. 

Right now I can't sleep and writing down my thoughts really helped this morning so I'm going to continue that process. Before this whole ordeal I was never really worried about rejection, I knew it would happen and it was never a big deal. As of right now it's probably the scariest thing for me personally. I'm praying this is the worst OB I'll have to deal with and if that's so I'm one of the lucky ones that gets the mildly irritating and nothing truly painful, if this is the case the virus isn't a big deal, as of right now I'm having more of a hard time with the psychological aspect and believing I won't be accepted by a girl who is 'clean' and won't want to take a risk with what I have. Now believe me I've read a lot on this forum about the success stories and I know it happens I'm not oblivious to this it's just a thought I can't seem to shake right now. Maybe with more time and I get used to living with this I'll be all right.  

On to a couple questions. I know everyone is different I just want to know when you have an OB how long do the sores take to heal and go away? The first one for me is at day 8 from when I discovered it and is getting very close to being healed up, is this what I can expect with the 3 new ones from this morning? I also read about some zinc cream from another post on this forum that seemed promising I'm in Canada, ON, does anyone know if I'd be able to purchase it from a drug store here? I will find the post again and maybe post in there and ask and get the name of it 100% but it's late and I can't remember right now. 

Lastly thank you again for taking the time to read and support, this site is truly a great place and I feel terrible for saying this but I'm glad there are people like yourselves that had to experience this because without it we would not have as kind or compassionate help and you can tell you do truly care. Thanks again. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey lookinforadvice, my first ob was 4 months long and it was vaginal and anus area along with a fungal and bacterial infection, I was NOT a very happy camper. Everyone's outbreaks or ob' s are different. I waited 3 weeks after my outbreak to seek medical attention. This was a very dumbass move on my part but I didn't know married people got diseases. So your ob, if it's herps, will be determined on your physical health, emotional health and diet. The Zinc Oxide in Desitin (Baby diaper rash ointment) is 40%, you can get this in any pharmacy (Purple tube called Desitin) . It helps with itching, irritations and helps to heal sores quicker. Once you test properly, you can decide your best plan of action. If it's NOT herps, you will need to get proper meds for yeast or bacterial or fungal. Many things mimic the herps virus.

I'm very proud to say these people here are my friends with big hearts and open arms and more information than most medical health professionals. We pride ourselves on knowledge and SUPPORT :) ! Our creator of this site, Shenda, knew that one-day people would need help and knew the ignorance in the medical field. So many myths about herpes and how it's spread, but most importantly she knew knowledge is power and to educate ourselves gives us strength and confident control over OUR bodies and our health. I'm her number one fan, lol..

If we can help simply ask. As to your questions, it's different for each individual. NOT all ob's will be painful or last long or have visible sores, each body's immune systems act differently. In over 28 yrs I've only had 3ob's. My last is just healing. My 2nd was 3 tiny sores and in vag area. This 3rd ob is in anus area and a true pain in my Ass! It hurts like a bitch and was brought on by my recent surgeries. I use vitamins b12 complex sublingual, you can find this too at any pharmacy, it helps SUPPORTgood nerves health and relieves stresses and gives much needed energies. I've used for over 3decades, I swear by it ;) ! 

Please keep us informed about your testing and be sure to request an IGG HERPESELECT BLOOD test. Take care honey Hugs Aces 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      72.1k
    • Total Posts
      486.1k
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
    • CHT
      Hello DavidGua.... based on the two pictures, I'm not seeing anything that resembles a typical herpes outbreak.  I am not sure what those spots are on your penis.  Please have a doctor take a look and I'm sure you'll get a proper diagnosis.  Have you ever received an HSV antibody test (IgG)?  Again, I doubt your symptoms are herpes-related but, if you'd like some peace of mind, you could request the IgG antibody test for HSV2.   Best of luck.... let us know if you have any other questions/concerns.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.