disclosing AFTER sex

[kspence]

Hi.

Basically, contracted HSV 4 years ago. I seen so many doctors with so many different opinions - when the swabs came back negative i was told unless it comes back, don't disclose, lead a normal life.

 

A while ago It came back  - 4 years later.

I love my boyfriend. So unbelievably much. 

It was GHSV1, which - from what I have researched - shouldn't reoccur often. Since the flare up where I had been diagnosed (my second time) which was spaced 4 years from the first, I have had 5 outbreaks in ~4 months.

WHY? i actively made the decision - after researching A LOT- that I wouldn't disclose.Out of fear, out of denial, out of worry etc. (I do not want a lecture about disclosing at this point, the decision to do so is split ESPECIALLY with GHSV1!

 

I am outbreaking now. I have 3 small bumps, unlike the one I had where I was diagnosed - that time it was open ulcers EXTREMELY painful with all symptoms like a primary OB - 

I will see him tomorrow after a longgg time of not seeing him, How do I give him the speach AFTER we've already had sex?

 

I can't say 'Im not in the mood' because today is my first day of the OB. period isn't an excuse either.

 

I love him and also feel like the guilt, worry, and shame should come to an end.

He is young and immature. Which added to my initial worry of disclosure. Im scared I will tell him and he will tell his friends (small town, news travels fast for a young person). 

I am so scared and so alone. What should I tell him? What are the correct statistics with GHSV1?? Can anyone give me good advice to help me with the courage to say so, and what to tell him 

PLEASE someone

Edited September 14, 2015 by kspence

[t361]

I would suggest telling him the truth. Lies never pan out.

If he loves you, he'll understand. Also, explain all the precautions you can take so he won't contract it. That might help put his mind at ease.