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Hi! Me again, I wanted to ask a few more questions and hope you take the time to read and help me.
So Ive been sleeping with the same boy since September. He’s the only boy I’ve ever had unprotected sex with, I went to get checked and I’m clear for everything but herpes as it is not in the regular check. Once I found this out I then developed this obsession, I would spend at least four hours a day looking at photos online and my vagina, comparing my vagina to anything, with any spot I had, any piece of dry skin, any itch, I immediately thought it was down to that.
I’ve had a doctor tell me I’ve convinced myself I have it even though there’s nothing wrong and even considered I should speak to a psychologist (bad I know)
I have had the doctors check photos (due to covid) at least 10 times now and they’ve all given me explanations (fordyce spots, heat rash, etc) but I can’t seem to stop worrying.
We’ve not had sex since November and I’m only panicking about every little thing since February because I noticed a patch of skin which ended up being decoloration.
None of the stuff I’ve had have never looked like blisters but then again sometimes this happens.
I recently made myself so ill with stress, I collapsed and spent the day in A&E, I got loads of tests done and they found no infection in my blood (which is a good sign right?). He told me there was no elevated white blood cells and everything looked healthy.
The most recent I’ve had red around my vagina, sometimes it’s like dry skin, the doctors are testing for bacterial or fungal infections and if it’s unknown I’m getting a referral to a gynaecologist. I’ve swabbed the area and get back my results on Friday or Monday.
but again they told me it does not look like herpes or anything to be concerned about.
do you think this is a psychological thing? Am I stressing myself out about nothing? The doctors have told me I’ve nothing to worry about but I have severe anxiety so it’s all I do lol. Please give me your opinions
note the boy I’m with has also been tested and was negative for everything. He’s not my boyfriend yet which is why I don’t want to talk to him about this, which is why I’m here, I’m suppose to see him Sunday, but I wanted you guys opinion first!
the only symptoms I’ve really had is tingling, but I’ve read that could be due to stress. I’ve had back pain but I always have that. No swollen lypo glands, no ulcers or blisters, I’m itchy now and again but it’s usually after I’ve been working and sweating.
PLEASE HELP ME
I was diagnosed 5 years ago hsv2+ by blood test. I requested the test because of constant vulvar and hip pain.
I was prescribed 1g valacyclovir daily for suppression, no relief.
I have prodrome symptoms that last for weeks even months at a time, burning, itching, tingling in my labia and perineum area as well as joint pain in my right hip. I have to date, never had any kind of visible outbreak. I'm currently on day 6 of another "flare up" and went to my NP for a visual check, positive for yeast and bacteria in urine, being treated with antibiotic and diflucan. Still no visible signs of anything, no redness, swelling, patches, bumps or blisters, my vagina looks completely normal.
Is this "normal" for most women or could it be something else? I'm miserable,
Correction, I looked back at my journal and these symptoms started to flare on 12/28 after antibiotics for Covid, it calmed down for about a week and then started again and has progressed to absolute misery. I am currently on day 3 of Bactrim and 2nd diflucan, which hasn’t helped the yeast symptoms, I’m wondering if it is yeast at all though the swab was positive. My labia is still very irritated and dry with redness today and almost a scale like appearance which is new. I have no pain when urinating or showering/shaving, still no visible bumps, lumps or rashes. I think some of my irritation could be from my nails and all the self exams and pulling of labia to look for changes.
I call these “flare ups” because I have not felt “normal” since this started 5 years ago, it started out feeling like a yeast infection and has continued since. I had a Rheo injection into the pudendal nerve 6 weeks ago hoping to get some form of relief but so far it has not.
So basic every morning I wake up with a bunch of smegma on my tip it’s white. Like I’ll take a shower wash my meat and everything the next day it’s there. Also the side of my thighs have a white patch ashy it itchy sometimes but not big deal. Like shii annoying my doctor gave me balanitis cream but look like my glans still dry like wtf is going on mind you I’m a teen going through all them shii. I just want to be done w life🤦🏾♂️😡😔
Here I am writing a post I never thought I would write. This story is definitely a bit confusing but I wanted to share my positive disclosure story.
The other day I accidentally disclosed my GHSV1 to my partner by sending a message I was meant to post on this forum (dope). I've been thinking of the right words for ages, where would be the right place and when would be the right time. Due to the social stigma surrounding the topic, I had been feeling super anxious about disclosing so I had been coming on here for advice/support. But as I say, I accidentally sent a paragraph explaining my whole situation to my partner.
As expected, when he read it he was confused due to the technical terms I was using such as GHSV1 etc... So I rang him and explained the full story. At this point I knew there was no point beating around the bush as he already read the truth so I knew I needed to properly explain it to him.
I am fortunate because he is so kind and understanding so he accepted my situation. He was not upset because I have herpes, but more the fact I had been keeping it to myself and making myself mentally ill. I told him the facts about GHSV1 and he said "I get coldsores so it's really no biggie". Perhaps I am lucky because he has OHSV1 but regardless I feel blessed that someone had listened to my story and not turned away. We love each other so much and even he said he wished I had told him sooner because herpes is a part of me and does not define me. I was worried that after disclosing my partner may think less of me or find me gross... But it has actually made us closer intimately as I don't feel hesitant about us doing things as he knows everything and is aware of the risks. He often says "there's worse things to have than herpes" and for a long time I didn't believe that but things are finally looking up.
I hope people who are worried about disclosing find the courage and words because it is such a worrying process. Now I've been open it's such a relief that I have someone to discuss my problems with. If anyone ever needs support or just someone to talk to, please feel free to message me as I know all too well what it's like when you feel overwhelmed with your emotions.
Take care everyone x
About seven months ago, I posted that I disclosed to someone and he rejected me. We found each other on a dating site. Even though we both recognized we lived over 300 miles apart, we started talking and texting. After a couple of weeks of long conversations, lots of texts, and finding out we had an amazing connection, we decided to meet. Since we live more than 300 miles apart, I disclosed my status to him over the phone before meeting in person. I didn't want to waste his time or mine if it was going to be a deal breaker.
When I told him I was HSV2+, he asked a few questions, we talked about statistics, I encouraged him to do more research, and said that I'd go back on Valacyclovir for suppression. He said he didn't have a problem with dating me and we planned to meet at a point half way between where we live a few days later. The day after I disclosed to him, he called and said he was sorry, that he just couldn't date me because of my HSV status. I was really sad, but I told him I understood and asked if we could still be friends. Even though we lived so far away from each other, I asked him to please not tell anyone that I have herpes. We talked and texted a couple of times over the next two weeks, but it was pretty much over.
Exactly one month after he rejected me, he sent me a text saying that he was on a camping trip with a group of friends. He asked me to forgive him for telling his close friend about my "condition", but she told him that herpes was no big deal and that he shouldn't let it keep him from dating someone who he liked and who sounded like a wonderful woman. He asked if I would forgive him for rejecting me and give us a chance. I told him that of course I would, but there was nothing to forgive and I knew he just needed more information. We met while he was on his camping trip and I also met the friend who helped bring us together. I thanked her and gave her a big hug.
My boyfriend and I have incredible chemistry. We were immediately a couple and went directly into being in a relationship. We took turns making the long drive to spend long weekends at each other's house, we took little trips together, we spent time with his friends, and went on an incredible vacation where we had the most amazing time. When we had only been seeing each other one month, I was diagnosed with stage 0 melanoma. It was completely cured, but it required a rather difficult surgery and flap graft reconstruction. He took care of me. Right after we got back from vacation, he asked me to move to AZ to live with him. A month ago, we sat down and went over our financial stuff, talked about time frames for the move, and went to look at new home models (we both have our own homes, but felt it would be better to have one that was "ours".) We were both so happy and excited! Then, this happened....
I became friends with his friend who told him that he shouldn't let herpes stop him from dating me. (To keep this confidential, I'll call her Carol) Carol was very supportive of us and really so kind and interested in getting to know me. She and my boyfriend have known each other for over 30 years. My boyfriend is a widower who lost his wife 8 years ago. Carol and her husband were very close to my boyfriend and his deceased wife. He told her that he was ready to love again and to have a partner for the rest of his life. He told her that I was the one. Carol has been nothing but supportive and welcoming.
Carol and I met for lunch one day. During lunch, she told me why my boyfriend accepted me right after I disclosed my status to him and then rejected me the next day. When he was on his camping trip, he was missing me so much that he told Carol the whole story about why he rejected me, hoping for some guidance. He was married for 24 years, knew nothing about herpes, and wanted another opinion. He told Carol that right after I disclosed my status to him, he talked to another of his close friends (let's call her Jackie) and she told him not to date me, that he had to break it off with me right away because I had herpes.
I was blown away. I didn't know he had told Jackie. She and her husband live next door to my boyfriend and we've all been to parties and social gatherings together. I was so embarrassed. Then, I heard from his best friend's girlfriend (let's call her Julie) that she knew he rejected a woman because of herpes, but she didn't know it was me. It looks like he was telling his friends that he was talking to a woman he liked and wanted to date. Then, I suppose they asked about what happened with that, and he told them he opted out because I have herpes. I figured a couple of people out of the 6 couples on the camping trip knew I had it, but all of them knew! They were probably discussing it around the campfire! Smh.
Last week, I asked him on the phone if he told Jackie and if he told his best friend (who I thought might have told Julie.) He told me he didn't tell anyone besides the people on the camping trip. After we hung up, I texted him that his friends might be gossiping about my personal information and that I was embarrassed and needed to call out whoever was spreading it around. He insisted that he only told his friends who were on the camping trip and that he can't spend the rest of his life apologizing for something he didn't do. He told me not to worry, that he loves me, all his friends love me, and that I was making a bigger deal about it than it needed to be. I told him that I heard a different story from both Carol and Julie and that I knew he talked to Jackie. He replied, "Believe what you want, this is getting ridiculous, I can't take this shit." I got very upset, texted that I needed to know who he told, and said that either he or one of his friends is lying. He replied, "If I have to defend myself every time I say something stupid or you hear a rumor, maybe we shouldn't think about living together. I do not need an emotional woman and drama in my life." I wrote back that I calmly asked him about something that was important to me and he marginalized it and made threats, that he must be the one who is lying and not Carol. He replied, "Well be happy you won't have to deal with it anymore. You and Carol have a wonderful life together. Have a nice life. Goodbye." He broke up with me via text. I tried calling him right then, but he wouldn't answer.
It's been over a week and we're still not talking, I shouldn't have reached out to him trying to get him to talk to me, but I did so more than once. He seemed like such a good man, and I really believe he is a good man, and I trusted him so much. Why would he ever think it was okay to casually discuss my HSV status with other people? I told him I wouldn't get mad at him if he admitted he told his friends, I just needed to know who he told. He wouldn't admit anything. I am devastated.