Newly infected : Need help – Support

[Penumbra]

Hello everyone, I’ve spent some time reading these forum and I really like the vibe here.. so I thought I’d register and make a post in the attempt of trying to feel better.

I’m 29 years old and have been kissed by someone with a cold sore on September 1^st.  Despite my frustration and anger, I won’t dwell on what happened and rather focus on the present and future

I’ve been feeling extremely depressed and stressed since that event… and was praying for some sort of miracle that I wouldn’t get HSV from that event, but as of today, I’m forced to admit that it’s pretty obvious that I have it.

I’m going to divide this email in two… the first one about my symptoms and how worried I am that I might actually have something even worse than HSV (Because I had symptoms that were even beyond those described about cold sore)

The second part will be about my worried and what make my life miserable since I got infected.

 

The symptoms:

Note that at no point did I use any prospection nor abreva… I felt that I had to go through this once and know what it is really.

 

September 1^st: initial contact (French kiss) from someone that had a scabbing cold sore (yellow looking)

September 5^th: Half of the day, my lower lips feels strange.  A feeling I never felt before

September 6-8: I had muscle pain and felt really tired.  I was hoping those emblematic symptoms to primary infection were something else (I had I bday party on the 6^th, and that a friend reported feeling the same the few days after- I was hoping it was something else)

September 8-9: My lower lips become swollen a bit, and ended up being very dry

September 9-10: Big chunk of dead skin that looked a bit yellow start pelling off my bottom lip.  My lower lip eventually return to normal soon after that.

September 11-12: I start having a weird sensation on my top lip. I eventually noticed that a bump in the middle of my upper lip (not near the skin, actually close the the inside of my mouth) is forming.  Sometime, a tiny kind of white dead skin or scab try to form there.  That bump don’t seems to be oozing.. and never really become that red.

September 12-14: The bridge under my nose feels strange… a bit numb/itchy.  I noticed that the skin there is super dry to a point that it created white flakes that almost look like psoriasis.

September 12: a small white zit (3 or 4 millimeter diameter) form at my upper lip (near the junction of my skin and lip).    The bridge under my nose is still the biggest annoyance: lots of white flakes.. and it’s itchy.  I end up going to see a doctor at this point and show him that.  He tells me that the white irritation/dryness is not typical of HSV, and that the zit could be a cold sore or not.  Hard to tell.  He also tell me that I should wait 6 weeks initial infection to get blood test and clearly identify if I got it or not.

September 13: that small white zit has a bit of red in it.. starting to look like a cold sore?  It’s a that point that I start resigning myself that I have HSV.  This look like a baby cold sore…  and with all the prior symptoms, I guess I have to accept reality.

September 14: the zit is no longer white but instead dark red.  The bridge under my nose is at it worse, lots of dead white skin that look like psoriasis.

September 15: the little zit/red spot is still there, but the bridge under my nose start being a little bit better: less annoying, less white/dead skin: still some tho.

 

At this point, I’m feeling down and realizing that I should just accept what look like an obvious fact: I have HSV.

Have anyone ever heard of such symptoms? I’m to a point that I’m worried having something on top of that, worse than HSV1 or 2.  My skin acting all weird… and having all those bumps/zit growing in a weird way. It looks like my skin don’t know either to let it happen or not.

 

 

The depression:

I’ll spare you the details of my state of mind… but basically I feel like nothing will ever be the same… that everything is going to be complicated from now on… and that it’s just a matter of time until I get genital HSV.

Here’s a few things I’ve changed in my life… or question I have:

1-      I’ve not being wearing my contact lenses since the beginning of the infection.  Is that the right thing to do? 

2-      When there is no outbreak at all, is there still chances that I infect my eye with HSV by putting my finger in it (let say I had an eyelash in my eye and used fingers to remove it)

3-      I’m becoming paranoiac about my pillow case.  When I have an outbreak, should I wash it after every night? I’m afraid or infecting my nose or eyes if my lips rub against the pillow, then another part of my body.

4-      I’m also afraid of taking shower and letting water from my face (cold sore) down my body (genital).   I'm even afraid of peeing since I have to hold my....

5-      I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to enjoy oral sex ever again since that even with a serious relationship partner, there will always be a risk that I transmit my virus orally, then than person transmit it genitally to me.

6-      During this outbreak, I keep feeling like I’m dangerous and can spread the virus on everything.. especially in my bathroom.  So I disinfect everything every day with Peroxide.

 

 

My plan is to go get tested to know if I have HSV1 or HSV2 as soon as the 6 weeks mark is done.

*sigh*

 

Thank you so much for reading this, and thanks in advance for your help.

[JBnATL]

Hi there, welcome to the Forum.

First off you CANNOT spread this in your bathroom, so here is no need to disinfect every day.  Also water flowing off your face to your genitals will NOT spread it either.  Neither will using your fingers to insert/take out contacts, so don't worry about those either.  You can't spread it from your pillow case or from a towel or cup or utensil.  The ONLY way to spread this is from skin to skin contact.

From what you have described that may or may not be hsv, there are so many other things that can cause similar symptoms.  You seem to have a paranoia about this virus that can cause your body to manifest symptoms even if you don't have the virus.

Have you ever been tested for hsv before?  90% of all adults have hsv1 oral which they got as a child from a kiss from a relative.  Having this virus doesn't have to change your life at all.  If this was your primary hsv outbreak then you are in luck.  Any future outbreaks you may have won't be any worse and will probably be a lot shorter.  Personally I got one cold sore when I was 17 and I have never had another one.

Do you have any pets?  Humans aren't the only animals that can get a virus called herpes.  Most vertebrate animals can get a herpes virus.  While their virus isn't the exact same as ours its still a virus called herpes.  Have you ever had mono or chicken pox?  If so you already have herpes.  There are 8 herpeviruses humans can contract and some cause mono and the herpes zoster virus causes chicken pox/shingles.

Hundreds of millions of people on this earth have herpes.  You probably have a dozen other viruses in your body right now too.  Be thankful you don't have the flu virus, because that virus kills 30,000 people a year.

Good luck!

JB

[Penumbra]

Hi JB, sorry for the delay in my answer.

I'm still struggling into accepting this new reality in my life and the simpler thing like saying thank you for your kind answer can somehow take effort.

So yes.. Thank you for you post, it definitely calmed me down a little.

It has now been a few weeks since primary infection. My lips are not dry anymore... The little zit that I suspect was a cold sore disapeared after only 3 days, leaving a little discoloration on my lips. All that said, the symptoms being all gone now make it easier to feel a bit less down.  Now it's just a matter of accepting to change a few things in my life. it'll be ok. :-)