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The Likelihood...Trying to make sense of things...


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I'm looking for rational feedback here because unless I'm thinking irrationally, I don't know what the hell is going on...

OK, I'm going to try to keep this short. On July 14th (precisely), I received oral sex from a guy and he briefly touched my vagina (externally) with his penis, no sex.

On July 22nd, I had (unprotected) sex with a different guy and did so with him again on the 24th and the 26th. I was feeling discomfort around the 24th (assumed it was a UTI because they're always coming around post-sex) and visited my doctor. Because I had swollen lymph nodes, she automatically assumed it was HSV. OK, over the course of that weekend, I started feeling WEIRD (the tinglies!) and on that Monday, (July 30th), my OB happened. BAM, OK so it was HSV. I got tested on Aug 2 and didn't have antibodies which meant that this was something new.

Now, the guy who provided me with oral sex on the 14th was a one night stand so there's no way to talk to him about it but I didn't assume it was him anyway because my OB didn't occur until after sex with the second guy. Now, second guy freaks out when I tell him and swears he doesn't have any thing.

I'm stuck here wondering (finally getting to the point, bear with me) if it's really possible that the oral sex guy from the 14th gave this to me and for some reason (maybe because sex is the trigger), my initial OB didn't take place until after sex with the second guy.

It just seems very ironic that I felt completely fine until after having sex with the second guy. My doctor told me that your first OB typically occurs within a few days of exposure which makes me think it's the second guy even more (the time period between oral sex guy and OB was 15 days).

Also, if I did get this from oral sex guy and I was feeling prodrome symptoms during the week that second guy and I sexed, wouldn't I have very likely transmitted it to him? Wouldn't he have had an OB?

However, to add more confusion, my doctor has informed me that I have an incredible immune system because my OB only consisted of redness and maybe 4 "cuts", no flu-like symptoms, and only discomfort when using the restroom. For that reason, it makes me wonder if I did contract it from oral sex guy but my immune system fought it so wonderfully but couldn't fight it anymore after sex with the second guy.

What's the likelihood that it's the oral sex guy? Or are you thinking like me - it's definitely the second guy that's in denial...

Sorry this is so long! I just wanted to give all of the exact details in hope of good feedback. Thanks!

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It is common to have your first or initial ob within 2-21 days after first exposure. Key word is common not always.

Many people are infected and do not even get an initial ob. Many people are infected and just don't know it or mistake the symptoms for something else.

Most people who have oral infections have hsv 1 (although oral hsv 2 infections are on the rise) which is more active in oral infections than genital but this is all relative. Did your dr tell you which virus you have? This may account for the less severe ob.

As for the guys their immune systems are different and they could be asymptomatic.

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Haha, ok I had to read that post over a few times before I got all the information in :D.

First of all, sometimes the antibodies don't show up on blood tests such a short time after you're exposed, so you should maybe wait a couple of weeks then try again. If they manage to find something then they can do tests and see whether you have HSV1 or HSV2. I'm not sure how much research or how much you know about herpes but HSV1 is usually on the lips and HSV2 is usually on the genitals. There are exceptions of course, but it could help to know, because if it's 1 then you could assume it's most likely suspect #1 and if its 2 then... suspect#2 (ooh, starting to sound like a criminal investigator here :cool:)

Anywho, that's not completely reliable but if I were you I'd also suggest for the guy you slept with to take a test and see if he has any antibodies. If the guy you slept with doesn't have any antibodies then he should not be the one who gave it to you, but just because he's never had outbreaks doesn't mean he doesn't have herpes, and it also doesn't mean he didn't catch it from you. But did you use a condom? The only way you could have caught it from him if he has herpes is if he was shedding and this usually occurs only about 3-4% of the time with HSV2, and with condoms you would have been, not completely but a lot more, protected than you were with the other guy. Remember though, just because he swears he doesn't have anything doesn't mean he doesn't have anything. Really suggest to him to get tested not only for you but also for his own health...

It is possible that you got it from the guy who gave you oral because the time period is usually 2-10 days or so after exposure but it can take longer, or the symtoms can be so mild that you don't notice them, and this could be possible according to the fact that you didn't get a very big outbreak. It could have just been triggered by the sex, because it could have caused friction or discomfort and made it easier for the virus to attack. If you did get it from this guy, chances are it is HSV1, which could explain the smaller OB because HSV1 prefers the mouth and not the genitals. Statistics have also shown that genital HSV1 tend to have way less outbreaks than genital HSV2.

I'm sorry I can't give you any solid answer as to who it might be, because it could be either one, or even both (you never know) The best thing to do would be to go and get another blood test in a few weeks, and get your guy to go with you and get tested as well. That should answer your questions because if he has antibodies, then you most likely got it from him since they most likely wouldn't appear in a blood test so soon after him getting it, but if he doesn't have anything then the likelyhood of him having infected you is slim.

I'm not sure if I've answered everything you wanted answered so feel free to ask more questions :] I'll try to help as much as I can.

Just stay strong, it's not a nice thing to find out you have herpes. Trust me, I know. I was diagnosed just a few weeks ago and it was just a horrible feeling but it gets better. I pretty much spent 24 hours straight obsessing over it and looking at all the websites, books, and any information I could find on herpes but I hope it goes well for you though! Good luck at finding out who you got it from ;-) And hey, since the test came back negative maybe it's something else completely! You never know.

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Thanks for your responses!

OK, a few more facts - I have HSV2, not 1. (Another reason I don't think it's likely for it to have been oral guy). A swab test proved that. I then had two blood tests done - one to test if the contraction is new or if the virus is old. The results came back saying it was new - meaning I didn't have antibodies. Sex with second guy was unprotected. Second guy has FALLEN OFF OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH SINCE I TOLD HIM. Actually, he went to the doctor (the day I told him) and I guess she (the doctor) LOOKED at him and didn't SEE anything and told him that he was fine. Now, whether he actually had his blood work done and got results or not, I may never know but in his ignorance (and the ignorance of his doctor) he assumes that he is fine because he didn't and the doctor didn't SEE anything.

Of course, I told the dummy that you don't have to SEE anything. Maybe he's just too retardo to understand that.

I'm going through it alone. And to think, I wasn't even ridiculously angry at him when I found out because I know that he most likely didn't know he had it and it was a conscious decision on my part to be intimate with him. I'm just pissed now because I know that the chances that he gave it to me are so high but the idiot ran like a little boy. Jesus Christ.

Anyway, thanks again...

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Ooh, okay, then yeah if it's HSV2 then it is most likely the second guy. There is still a verryyyy slim chance it's the first guy if he had HSV2 on the mouth but I find that really unlikely.

Wow, what a coward to just disappear like that..:roll: that's pretty low, and the doctor must be some kind of fool to tell him he's okay just because he doesn't see anything wrong... people's ignorance never ceases to amaze me. It's because of things like this that herpes is even becoming so damn common! Would it really be that much harder to include a blood test for herpes in the anual exam (or whenever people go) Honestly!!

Anyways, I think you're being really mature about this and I admire you for not freaking out about it. It's more than many people can say. Good luck with everything :D and I hope the guy grows a pair and comes out of hiding : ] Even if he didn't know before, now he has a reason to wonder so if he thinks hes mature enough to have sex then he should know he's not really showing it now. Good luck hun :)

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