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So for all the others on here, one of the things I keep coming back to is this, how could you/I ever date someone who did not have it? I keep thinking about it repeatedly, and know that if you did get with someone, you'd have to be very cautious, they'd always be nervous about getting it from you, and completely would take any sort of trust and joy out of the relationship, if your so constantly worried about getting it from you,

But before I come to that thought, I always believe that nobody would ever want to date someone with herpes anyway. 

I'm in HS, and see other people in relationships and I think "that will never be me" because people don't want to get infected. 

How do you feel? 

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  • 1 month later...
scaredbuthopeful2015

I know how you feel...but then I realize that my thoughts will create my reality....so I stop, rewind and delete.   For whatever reason, we have drawn this to ourselves...and we have something to learn from it.

In truth I have had mixed reviews.  I have a fwb who is my age...and he wwas loving and supportive.  And has no worries because he listened to the statistics and got informed.   Ironically since my diagnosis, I have been with him once...but I am in fear of transmission so I have been avoiding getting together.   Then there are the younger men I date in their late 20s  or early 30s ...they are not as accepting and run scared.  They do not take the to get informed and understand the disease.  So I guess it really just weeds out those who see the value if who we are sooner rather than later

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I've had herpes for a bit over three years. I stayed with the guy who gave it too me for most of that time despite him being completely selfish and dishonest. Eventually enough is enough enough and you realise that life goes on. I ended it and met the most amazing man. And I felt/feel exactly how you do. How can I possibly be with this guy and put him at risk. I came on here and everyone is so supportive. There's a low low risk you will pass it once you recognise your symptoms and if ur using protection and ultimately as long as your honest - if you care for someone why not leave it up to them. I pushed my boyfriend away for ages before realising that for him that was harder. He obviously doesn't want to catch this, but he'd prefer a life with me and the risk than to not have me at all. I have heard stories about men who don't care at all - and who have never caught it from their partners and people who are just very very careful - life goes on. Take it as it comes and try not to worry too much. 

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