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Hitchens

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Hitchens Newbie

Hitchens

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Hello! I'm preparing to leave a 20 year emotionally void marriage. I'm a jumble of feelings, but am trying to keep positive! Dating is intimidating enough, but add H to that & I'm pretty darn scared. Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated! I'm so happy to have found this site!

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optimisticcali Honeycomb Member

optimisticcali

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Hi Hitchens. First let me give you kudos on having the courage to leave the marriage. many people stay in unsatisfying relationships with less to worry about. I got out of a similar (but much shorter) situation a year ago. It was a 3 1/2 year relationship and I only committed and stayed because of the H. I was terrified of ever meeting anyone else and felt that this was my only chance. This site has been a great resource for me, for learning how other people disclose, reading success stories, etc.

When I finally got out of the relationship, I started out by going on a dating site specifically for other H positive people and I went out with quite a few women that way, eventually I put my foot into the larger pool (very recently) and had a very positive experience with my first disclosure. What i have learned from this site and the experiences of others is that a lot of how other people react is based on how we tell. If you are okay with your situation and informed about it, then you have a much better chance of having someone react positively. If you think you are damaged goods and that you will infect your next partner by just looking at them, then chances are that will come off in how you disclose and you may very well scare them off. Bottom line, become comfortable and okay with yourself and your H and there's a good chance other people will be okay with it too. 

Check out the sections on this site about dating and read how other people disclose, success stories, etc. 

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Hitchens Newbie

Hitchens

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Thank you for your response! It really helps to hear that there's hope, as I'd love to connect with someone someday.

I'm glad you've been able to successfully navigate the dating scene! I know there are many resources on this site & I've only scratched the surface, but how would I find the dating sites to find other H positives? Google?

Again, I appreciate you taking time to respond, it's so nice to not feel so alone in this!

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