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Diagnosed with herpes, feeling scared, betrayed, and lonely


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Hello everyone,

I visited a hospital few days ago because I've been having a painful labia minora for about a week and the doctor told me I got herpes from my boyfriend just by looking at my swollen labia. I feel very scared because I know the stigma of this is very bad especially in the country where I came from, and I cried to my sleep every night thinking about what I am gonna do in the future. It feels like my future has been destroyed, and I will never be able to get married.

I told my boyfriend that I was diagnosed with herpes, and that his ex probably gave it to him. He himself didn't know what herpes is until he googled some and he told me that he got it from his parents.... He apparently showed symptoms a few years ago, and visit his doctor but he didn't know that it's called as herpes. The problem is, it seems like he doesn't really know how serious this problem is for me...he said sorry but I don't know whether he's really sorry about it or not.

I just need friends that I can freely talk about this with, without being judged. Nice to meet you all. 

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Hey Patootty, welcome honey. How were you tested honey? Does your boyfriend get cold sores from childhood? That would mean you'd have genital h1 from oral sex. Is this correct? I have ghsv 2, my herpes is in it's home locations, yours is NOT, this is good meaning h1 in the genitals usually doesn't give the terrible outbreaks that h2genital does. Why would you think he's not sincerely sorry? Take care Hugs Aces xo

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Hello acesheart,

I'm not sure whether he had cold sores in childhood, but he told me that the first time that he gets cold sores was in army and he went to hospital there. Since he never had any sexual activity before the doctor told him it might be from his parents. I also haven't got tested yet because I'm currently studying in a foreign country. Thank you for your caring aces

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I am also a herpes people and i can experience the feelings when you have herpes, you may believe that dating is impossible; The real truth is that people who have herpes should not abandon their search for love and happiness! Herpes should not override everything about you and what people already find attractive about you. Your whole life shouldn’t change! I know a online herpes dating site named www.herpesLove.net . You will find a huge amount of information here, including useful articles for herpes treatment, medical opinions, counselors, medicines tips, herpes dating and about 800,000 herpes singles online. More, there are other herpes support. Hope this can help you.

Edited by Pozmatt
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75% of Americans have cold sores HSV1... There's really nothing you can do about that. And about 25% have genital HSV2. And about as many have genital HSV1.

In total 90% of americans have either HSV1 or HSV2.

So what can you do? Deal with it. Live with it. Educate partners about it. And in a few years we'll have vaccines and it won't be that big of a deal.

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