Lost & feeling alone

[Unspoken]

Hello everyone.. This is so hard for me and i dont even know where to start.. Just writing this is making my stomach in knots and my chest tight.. I am a female , 21 years old and i was diagnosed with HSV-2 .. Last month. I was devastated. I had gotten it from my ex boyfriend.. I thought to myself this is what death feels like.. I felt as if i died but my body was still functional .. I couldnt eat,sleep, talk. I have a son that is 9 months old and i couldnt even look him in the face.. i felt so disgusted with myself.. Some days are better than others but i still get depressed and very lonley.. Always asking god " why me .. What did i do to deserve this?" .. I feel as if nobody will love me with this.. Feeling so hopeless.. I was such an outgoing person .. A social butterfly if you will.. And now i cant go a day without thinking about my herpes. Even when i dont have an outbreak i find myself scrubbing my hands after every shower .. after using the bathroom.. After eating a meal .. im so scared of passing it on to someone unintentionally.. Im letting this consume me.. And its driving me crazy .. I need advice please.

Edited September 23, 2015 by Unspoken

[VVK]

Hi Unspoken

No offense intended but what you're saying is nothing new and that's a good thing. We get members coming in almost daily with the same story. They think life is over, that they're a walking contagious herpes zombie. None of it is true.  This isn't to take anything away from what you're feeling. You have every right and reason to grieve getting HSV, but it's far from what death feels like (trust me, I've been pretty darn close so I know). It's actually pretty good once you get past this initial mental hurdle of realizing what HSV is and what it isn't. You still have all your limbs, your brain is still fully functional, your body works pretty much the same way it used to before. All you have is a skin condition that probably won't bother you very much longer as you gain an immunity to the virus.

Here's what you need to know for now: 1. Guys (and girls, if you're into that kind of thing) will still love you, regardless of your HSV status; 2. You're not contagious like you think - you don't need to scrub your hands. If you're affected genitally, you will only be infectious through skin to skin contact with your genitals and even then only during outbreaks and very rarely between. If you're affected orally, the same applies but with your lips. The virus doesn't live long enough on your hands to pose a risk of transmission, unless you're having an outbreak, touch the sores, and immediately rub your fingers on someone.. that's not something someone does. 3. You'll be alright. You'll figure this out and you'll grow as a person. You'll be stronger and more knowledgeable through this challenge.

Educate yourself. Read as much as you can in the forums and related articles in this community. You will do much better.