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Meaningless life ;(


BrokenAngel

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im a newbie,  I was diagnosed with herpes last Monday. when I felt burning, swollen labia last week. Shocked and confused

I never knew what herpes . until I go back and search abt it. after awhile, my world just fall apart. feel wanna end up my life. Been crying every night ever since. Questioning myself,  why this happen to me. Why GOD give me this virus? what I've done wrong. Enough with my complicated life, nw new complicated series add on..  I feel wanna commit myself suicide. I cant take this . I don't know hw to tell my BF.... he ever left me once this year, I don't want it happen again.  im not sure who I get it from too.... im lost. I dunno hw to face my family, friends..... I feel disgusted with myself. I got nobody to talk to. that's why im here..... please help me.  im so depressed, lonely..... 

 today , I went for medical check up, try to get confirmation. only get the result next week. I wish im negative... but I don't think so...aishhh    

I don't know what to do.... I just crying... and crying....  its painful while urinating. Doctor didn't give me any cream or antiviral cream, just give me acyclovir tablet. please help.... :(

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Ok let's see what we can do here. Do you have lesions? What testing was performed?

Who did you have sex with in the week leading into your symptoms first appearing?

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1st.. treat the symptoms. Take the acyclovir tablet as prescribed. Go to a pharmacy store and get some Epsom Salts, Bactine numbing spray and some Desitin purple diaper rash cream (maximum strength). Take a bath with about a cup or two of Epsom salts. This will relieve some of the pain, disinfect, and dry the sores. Afterwards, pat the affected area dry with a soft towel and then spray the area with Bactine. Let it dry and then apply the Desitin cream. Try to keep the area aired out as much as possible during the day.

Once the symptoms are under control and you are recovering..

2nd.. Figure out what you have. Wilso is onto this stage with his questions. There are many conditions that look like herpes but aren't. If it is herpes, then it's likely to not bother you once your body adjusts to the virus and builds up an immune response. Many people only get one outbreak, while for others subsequent outbreaks get milder and milder until they disappear altogether.

Once you figure out what you have, then the harder questions that you are thinking about will become simpler to answer.

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Ok let's see what we can do here. Do you have lesions? What testing was performed?

Who did you have sex with in the week leading into your symptoms first appearing?

genital parts vagina, labia area, like rashes....  no testing..  Doc just checking , didn't do swab or blood test.

... I dunno who infect me

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Hi VVK....

I go for blood test today , will wait for the results. im scare....  I have no idea about this virus.

I had sex with one guy, wch is not my bf. but not sure whether its frm him. last 3 weeks. but before that I ever face differen problem. but not rashes or sore,.huhu

Thanks for the advice,. will update agn aft I rcv the results frm Lab.

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Do get tested, it will be the guy 4 days before symptoms appeared if this is herpes.

Wilson:  Doc said that the virus only can be detect after few month aft the infection. 

so I guess its positive... I got herpes :( as mention by the specialist.  I cant get swab test cz my blister gone. but I got problem with pee-ing...

plz help me

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A blood test 12 weeks after symptoms will provide you with some information (moreso if HSV-2 is detected). With no swab there is no way you can call anything at this time.

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A blood test 12 weeks after symptoms will provide you with some information (moreso if HSV-2 is detected). With no swab there is no way you can call anything at this time.

but swab only can be done during the outbreak rite?

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Hi broken angel...sorry for your pain...both emotional and physical.  I know that this is a very scary and painful time.  I was recently diagnosed and had a very painful, long outbreak...but it does get better.  I have had symptoms now for 5 weeks...but the pain subsided around week 3 leaving me just with severe itching.  

As for your boyfriend, if you are continuing to have sex with him, you really should consider telling him.  Im sure you don't want him to also have to go thru this pain.

You didnt say if you questioned the man you had slept with to see if he knows if he is infected.  Is it possible that he could be a source of support for you?

And lastly, I'm concerned for your mental health.  I realize how big of a concern it is...and I know how our first reaction is that our life is over...but as time goes on the diagnosis and realization that this is only a small part of who we ARE sets in.  We are still the great people we were before the virus.  Please keep that in mind when things get challenging.  Hopefully when you tell your partner he will accept it lovingly and supportively.   However, if he does not,  please realize that one, you always have a great support system here...and two that he is going to leave you ... That it is likely because there were previous problems in the relationship...and no he is not willing to invest the time and the emotional support required...and did in truth, isn't that a blessing in disguise to actually find out sooner rather than later.  Best if luck.

 

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Hi broken angel...sorry for your pain...both emotional and physical.  I know that this is a very scary and painful time.  I was recently diagnosed and had a very painful, long outbreak...but it does get better.  I have had symptoms now for 5 weeks...but the pain subsided around week 3 leaving me just with severe itching.  

As for your boyfriend, if you are continuing to have sex with him, you really should consider telling him.  Im sure you don't want him to also have to go thru this pain.

You didnt say if you questioned the man you had slept with to see if he knows if he is infected.  Is it possible that he could be a source of support for you?

And lastly, I'm concerned for your mental health.  I realize how big of a concern it is...and I know how our first reaction is that our life is over...but as time goes on the diagnosis and realization that this is only a small part of who we ARE sets in.  We are still the great people we were before the virus.  Please keep that in mind when things get challenging.  Hopefully when you tell your partner he will accept it lovingly and supportively.   However, if he does not,  please realize that one, you always have a great support system here...and two that he is going to leave you ... That it is likely because there were previous problems in the relationship...and no he is not willing to invest the time and the emotional support required...and did in truth, isn't that a blessing in disguise to actually find out sooner rather than later.  Best if luck.

 

Hi...scarebuthopeful.......thanks for respond..

mine seem recover but itchy once awhile.. now problem with peeing.. :(

mayb i'll wait for the right time to sit and talk with him(BF)....

 

emotionally & mentally.....im broken.... I cried everyday.... why GOD punish me this way......

I feel ashamed, disgusted wit maself.....  sometime I feel wanna gv up with this life......

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You don't have herpes (HSV-1 or HSV-2) until you have a positive swab test or blood test. Anything before that is just guessing.

mean I have to wait for the sore/blister to come out and take swab test right?

blood test after 4 mth??

 

seemlike I got the symptom ... that's y.... I think its positive..huhu

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I'm glad your symptoms seem to have cleared up...but please know God is not punishing you.  YOU didnt do anything wrong.  NONE of us did.  You have to realize that possibly what you consider poor choices were made...or not, but THIS disease is a virus...not a punishment.  If you were to get a cold...which is also a virus, you would not blame yourself or God.  So please stop beating yourself up for something that was no bodies fault....not yours, not God's,  and likely not even the man who gave it to you as they probably had no idea they were infected.  My best advice to you is nurture and be kind to yourself,  inform yourself as best you can and stay positive.  I know this news is devastating, but your life is not over...just a little different now.  Ok

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I'm glad your symptoms seem to have cleared up...but please know God is not punishing you.  YOU didnt do anything wrong.  NONE of us did.  You have to realize that possibly what you consider poor choices were made...or not, but THIS disease is a virus...not a punishment.  If you were to get a cold...which is also a virus, you would not blame yourself or God.  So please stop beating yourself up for something that was no bodies fault....not yours, not God's,  and likely not even the man who gave it to you as they probably had no idea they were infected.  My best advice to you is nurture and be kind to yourself,  inform yourself as best you can and stay positive.  I know this news is devastating, but your life is not over...just a little different now.  Ok

im not strong enough.....

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Broken Angel...you ARE strong enough...you just don't know it yet.  I firmly believe that we are given these challenges as well as others in life to learn grow.  For me, it was to take better care of my body.  For you, maybe it is for you to realize your own strength.   Please don't hand over your power to the illness...it only has power over you if you aallow it to.  Sit with the diagnosis for a few weeks and take things one hour at a time if u have to...but you must try and move forward for your own mental health...you are much stronger than you realize. ..Angels...broken or not always are.  They just have to learn how to fly again with damages wings...

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Hey BrokenAngel, try using Epsom Salts in the bath water for the itches, after the long soak in the tub, dry the area genitally. Get some baby diaper rash cream, Desitin in Purple tube has 40% Zinc Oxide, then apply either on the area or on a pantiliner to helps keep the area soothed. You can get some baby wipes with Aloe Vera in them these also help tremendously with the itches and irritations of the area. Sweetypie I've had Ghsv 2 for almost 30 years and my husband is still negative for herpes, you will get better and you will survive this, we usually do learn to adapt to many situations when life throws rocks at us. Many things mimic the herpes virus, so getting the HERPESELECT IGG BLOOD TEST will be your best test if you don't have swab/culture of the fluids the lesion produce. Take care sweetheart and your wings will strengthen and you will fly. Hugs Aces xo 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow you need to come honest with your friend and this side friend ..sometimes good to be single relationship and not be with many men...you never know what you get ..its better you break up with your man and just recover from whole deal...its sad it happens to you but your not alone.. Here in website have something in common we all got herpes..time heals everything.. Make sure this is a lesson and you learn from this 

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    • KKaren
      Thank you for your response.  I will ask for that test.
    • WilsoInAus
      I really suggest that the best thing is for both you and your boyfriend to obtain the Westernblot HSV test. He has a 50%+ chance of being positive and you have a 50%+ chance of being negative. Only the Westernblot can sort this out for you.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @kpn the first thing to note is that it is all OK to have HSV-1 or indeed any HSV type. It is not negligence, it is just being human. Oral HSV-1 is not an STD in the sense that the primary transmission is non sexual and the majority of it occurs between parents to children. If any of your children contracted HSV, you would know it. It wouldn't be a silent infection for children. HSV-2 tends not to shed from the oral region for people who have it there in any event. At age 73, about 80% of the population has HSV-1. There is no reason to believe that your mother isn't one of those people. About half of all carriers of oral HSV-1 do not realise they have it and have no living memory of cold sores as they were infected when very young. The most logical explanation is that your mother has oral HSV-1 from her childhood and that your daughter doesn't have oral HSV. Not that it is relevant to anyone but yourself, but your wife might find she actually has genital HSV-1 having had an untyped swab when she was diagnosed.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Dylan86 and welcome to the website. First note that you cannot pragmatically become infected with HSV-1 from sharing a drink. If you carry HSV-1, it did not come from that episode. As such it is extremely unlikely HSV-1 is the primary cause of your issues. Can the WB miss a HSV-1 infection? Rarely but its feasible in less than 1% of carriers who test with WB. Note that the WB does not have values, it has positive or negative as you say. It is way more accurate than IgG as it looks for all 30+ antibodies that are in your blood for HSV. Could you have HSV-1? Yes it is feasible, but it would be a very old childhood infection. Could HSV-1 be causing your oral issues? No herpes will not cause the burning mouth syndrome you describe. Could some of the lesions be herpes related? It is feasible if you are a carrier. But it is unlikely to be the primary cause of the issues, but its an opportunistic virus that can cause issues when something else is taxing your immune system. The best thing you can do is the PCR test on a oral lesion and that will be pretty definitive. Either way, in summary. I'd suggest there is <1% chance you are part of about 70% of the population that has HSV-1. Further there is less than a 1% chance that herpes is the primary cause of your issues.   
    • kpn
      My wife has had hsv 2 for around 8 years. We have two young children 3 years old and 18 months old. My wife only had one outbreak when she was first infected so we didn't worry too much about passing it on to our children. I understand the risk to be pretty low under those circumstances. I don't believe my wife took antivirals during either pregnancy. My younger child has diaper rashes pretty often and has had what I thought was hand foot and mouth disease. That was going around the daycare a while back. I haven't really given it much concern though.  About a week ago, my mother kissed my youngest on the lips. My kid was congested at the time but they pretty much always are. About 3 days later, my mother developed a cold sore on her mouth. She has never had cold sores in her life and she is 73 and happily married so she is not going around messing with anyone. She pointed to the fact she had kissed my youngest and presumed that is where she was infected. At first I said that's not possible since my child has never had any cold sores but since then I have really started to consider that maybe it is possible she contracted it from my daughter. This has me worried that my daughter does indeed have hsv2 and was shedding in her mouth. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am really losing sleep about this. Two people I care so much about got hsv from my negligence. I am fine if I were to contract it, I am not worried about what others think at this point in my life. I just don't want anyone else to have it. 
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