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Lost&Confused,
in Rant & Rave
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By HSV2sucks
On Feb 10, I slept with somebody new. I specifically asked him if he had been tested for HSV and HIV via blood test. He told me he had just been tested two months ago and everything was negative and he hadn’t slept with anybody in a year. He either lied to me about being tested or lied about his status. I believe he knew he had HSV2, was not taking antivirals, and didn’t care if he infected me. Now he is using it to make me feel like I HAVE to stay with him because we both have this. And he is minimizing it.
I am in pain, depressed, having suicidal thoughts (don’t think I’d act on them), and feeling hopeless. I have nerve pain all over my genitals, my lower back, my butt, back of my legs. It’s a constant pain and burning. I’m also bleeding as if I’m on a light period! ITS AWFUL! I don’t understand why anybody minimizes this!!! INFORMED CONSENT IS SO IMPORTANT! I feel violated! I’m so angry
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By Magi
My ex give this to me ...::now I’m completely crashed and depressed I lost hope and happiness totally and I discovered that I have back pain because of it as well. Do u have any suggestions what to do with a back-pain ? Or maybe someone know if there is any support group in Europe ? I feel like I’m falling apart, I’m barley living atm
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By thirteen1395
hi
i was diagnosed in 2016. contracted HSV-1 genitally from my then (now ex) boyfriend.
im brand new to this site. been having a really hard time lately. outbreaks have been getting more frequent. rarely had them.. now currently going through the 3rd OB in 4 months. every time i think about it i’m immediately upset. it’s debilitating physically and mentally
i regret my choices that led me to this every single day. it never leaves my mind. especially when i have an active OB.
any and all suggestions for preventing OBs... foods/things to avoid. i never had to worry about this til lately. hate being depressed all the time. it sucks a lot
ugh
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By Boom
Does anybody have any suggestions on how you deal with pain at work or when you are out? I have hsv2 I am in the beginning of a break out this one is bad. I can’t really afford to call in so if anybody has any tips I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks.
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By Bhbr2018
Since I am having such a hard time dealing with my GHSV diagnosis, I thought it would be beneficial to express my emotions via a poem. I welcome all feedback, and thank you for reading:
"Death To My Giver "
My giver was a male, and his penis looked clean
I looked and searched around, but no bumps were seen
We had sex on the couch, and sex in his room
He had an open invitation, as a guest in my womb
My vagina let him in, with a hug and a squeeze
His penis returned the favor, with an incurable disease
Six days later, feeling symptoms in my bed
Taking selfies of my vagina, of bumps that turned red
My worst nightmare in the world, unfolding before my eyes
With no one to talk to, to comfort my cries
Having to go to work, with blisters and in pain
Losing sleep and my mind, isolated and insane
Doctors visits, drugs, and crying for days
Drinking myself to sleep, in an ambien haze
Reading stats and blogs, to make it all seem okay
Feeling worse about my life, with each passing day
A fever, a headache, swollen glands, and the chills
Looking back on meeting you, I should have run for the hills
You infected me, and left me, to deal with it alone
You showed no remorse, no answer from your phone
Now my choice is gone, and the freedom to have sex
Replaced with insecurity, fear, and hiding bottles of Valtrex
The stigma and the pain for the rest of my life
Will I become a mother, a girlfriend, or become somebody's wife?
Will I be accepted, loved, and made whole again?
Or will I be rejected, sad, a lonely old hen?
Hearing jokes about herpes, now it hurts all the more
Having to tell myself I'm not dirty, repeat, I am not a whore
I was tested before, for HSV and all
It always came back negative, never once received a call
I want to sue you and scream, the most repulsive guy
It gives me pleasure to think about every way you may die
Every ounce of anger I have, directed at you
So DEATH TO MY GIVER, you probably knew
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By WilsoInAus · Posted
@CHT my comments regarding your race and socio-economic status are not rude, sounds like they were accurate. I just want you to be aware that there is unconscious bias in your comments based on your perspective. Yes I stand by my comments that the US healthcare system is shameful. If that loses integrity in your eyes, then that is where you sit relative to the healthcare system and my public health philosophies. There is nothing shameful about expressing ones philosophies. Have I been antagonistic in the way I have expressed these things. Yes I have and I apologise for that. I think overall I was pretty shocked that you believed that the majority of infections were asymptomatic for the receiver. Your personal experience was quite the opposite and I admit I was perplexed why you didn't share your personal experience with someone who really wanted to hear a story of a true genital infection. -
By CHT · Posted
"talking up the chances of infection" What? Wilson, you are now making up dialogue that never occurred. He asked about testing and when symptoms might manifest.... I answered his questions and then asked why he felt he may be infected? You need to go back and read over the actual messages.... never once did I "talk up the chance of infection." You have done a poor job of reading between the lines of my messages back to "Dumbass." I suggested he may want to meet with a doctor to discuss his situation with the goal of alleviating his concerns about infection particularly since the little bit of information he provided would likely indicate he had a low chance of infection in my opinion.... hearing it from a medical professional, especially with testing, would help confirm this and give him peace of mind. Wilson, what really surprises me is your last paragraph. I have read many of your posts on this website over the last couple of years and have always held your opinions in high regard.... always well informed and you never resort to petty insults and bullying even when challenged. However, your snide speculations about my race and socio-economic status are rude, unnecessary and clearly antagonistic. Further, your remarks about the healthcare system in the US were clearly hostile, not to mention showing a gross ignorance of how healthcare works here. Your statements were shameful.... lost integrity. -
By WilsoInAus · Posted
I'm sorry @CHT you did not give the full information. The chances are not high they will not have recognisable symptoms. And if they do not have recognisable symptoms, then what is the point of going to a doctor for a swab? It is your obligation to tell people their chances and they how arrive at the correct diagnosis through available tests. Are you aware of the psychological harm that you have probably caused by talking up the chance of infection. You didn't say that there would be 50% plus chance that the person did not have HSV-2 in the first place and that the episode was less than a 1 in 1,000 chance. What happened to those odds? What role do they play when you are interpreting symptoms or their absence? In life, you support someone by saying what they NEED to hear and not WHAT you know or want to say. Further, let me guess, white middle class? The bulk of the population cannot afford nor are granted access to health care in your country. Must be nice to be able to afford a clinical evaluation, but let's spare a though for those who can't afford that. All they can do is go with the odds and they are perfectly entitled to do that in their circumstances -
By ZealousidealAide7 · Posted
I know that it is not contagious, if that helps -
By CHT · Posted
"Simply because people think they are asymptomatic doesn't mean they are. When they go to a doctor for education and consciously on the lookout, there is a very high probability if they are infected they will find something." Absolutely true, no argument on the study you reference. I am also aware of the clinical studies that have demonstrated that those who self-reported as "asymptomatic" when evaluated by medical professionals are made aware that they they aren't actually asymptomatic. However, going back to the original question at hand as to whether those who are infected demonstrate recognizable symptoms, the answer is still (as per CDC, WHO, and other reliable sources):"Most individuals infected with HSV are asymptomatic or have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed or are mistaken for another skin condition" So, when someone comes to this site seeking advice and help when they suspect they are newly infected, we have an obligation to point out, as I did in this situation, that the chances are high that they may not have symptoms, or recognize any symptoms, so, waiting to observe the classic symptoms (that they will no doubt look up online and find all sorts of photos showing "this is what a herpes outbreak looks like") will likely not detect those symptoms.... but, it does not mean they do not have the virus. Obviously, most infected individuals won't have the benefit of weeks of clinical observation/testing to help them identify easily misidentified (or asymptomatic) symptoms..... these infected individuals will then move along thinking "I dodged the herpes bullet" and quite easily and unknowingly pass the virus on to others. This occurs frequently when a person who does test positive confronts the person they believe gave them the "gift" and this gift-giver" vehemently denies having the virus since they have never had symptoms of herpes..... (which, again, is very likely as the CDC and WHO clearly point out). Again, in the unlikely event this person were to enter into a clinical evaluation (as you referenced above), including testing/swabbing, they may find out otherwise. This fact is one of the main reasons the virus continues to get passed along to others and the percentages of people becoming infected (particularly younger aged population) continues to increase.
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