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Overwhelmed with emotion


Lost&Confused

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I dont even know where to start with this. Today I was diagnosed with HSV1. But before the results came I suspected for a while that it couldve beenn a possibility but actually hearing it made my world turn upside down. I have not stopped crying all day. Im scared to tell anyone about it. Can't tell my friends, my parents, my roommates, not anyone. Holding all of this in is killing me but at least I found somewhere to vent. The pain is unbearable. I cannot walk, sit, sleep, not even eat because going to the bathroom hurts like hell. It feels as if there are needles and knives when I got to the bathroom. The blisters and sores keep bleeding and get more pussier. It just keeps spreading and gets worse by the second... IM SO MAD at the person who gave it to me because he knew he had it and didnt tell me. I have nothing but hate in my heart for that guy. No one will ever find me desirable again. The disgust I feel towards myseld as an individual is so high, I wince at myself in the mirror. My depression this past week has been so bad to the point where I held a gun to my head and was praying for forgiveness to God. I feel as im being punished. I just feel so betrayed, destroyed, and I cant get over the fact that I caught an UNCUREABLE disease. So many unfortunate events have happened these past weeks that this.. this THING has been the last straw. I dont know if i can deal with this any longer...especially since I will be all alone. 

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Lost&Confused: I'm assuming you want to live since you didn't pull the trigger. I'm borrowing from BrokenAngel's topic because my response is exactly the same for you.

1st.. treat the symptoms. Take the acyclovir tablet as prescribed (or Valtrex, if you got any). Go to a pharmacy store and get some Epsom Salts, Bactine numbing spray and some Desitin purple diaper rash cream (maximum strength). Take a bath with about a cup or two of Epsom salts. This will relieve some of the pain, disinfect, and dry the sores. Afterwards, pat the affected area dry with a soft towel and then spray the area with Bactine. Let it dry and then apply the Desitin cream. Try to keep the area aired out as much as possible during the day. When using the washroom, try doing it in the shower if you're peeing or use a wash bottle that you can also get from the pharmacy to wash the area as you go.

Once the symptoms are under control and you are recovering..

2nd.. Figure out what you have. Wilso is onto this stage with his questions. There are many conditions that look like herpes but aren't. If it is herpes, then it's likely to not bother you once your body adjusts to the virus and builds up an immune response. Many people only get one outbreak, while for others subsequent outbreaks get milder and milder until they disappear altogether.

Once you figure out what you have, then the harder questions that you are thinking about will become simpler to answer.

Edited by VVK
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    • WilsoInAus
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    • CHT
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    • WilsoInAus
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