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Obsolete

By Obsolete
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Obsolete Newbie

Obsolete

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Week 1, since I've found out I have Herpes.. I wish I could do something other than cry, I'm crying because I'm so ashamed so disgusted not of the herpes.... But of myself.

I can play the victim and Say "Hey Im a Good girl" I can say "I didn't know this could happen".. But that's not the case.. since 15 I've been looking for Love and all the wrong places I've let men of "all ages" do things to me because in my young mind sex was All I had to offer... I've had 4 STDs 2 are from someone I loved and 2 are from some one I can't remember... And now at 25 I thought I was so much smarter than That 15yr old me but I was not!! You can Judge because I judge myself daily no longer finding reasons to live because my problems seem so much bigger than me.. I dont have anyone to tell I have herpes, no one that I could trust with such a secret,  I haven't been able to say "HEY I HAVE HERPES AND IM SAD" well until now.. 

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KansasGirl Honeycomb Member

KansasGirl

Posted
Posted

Hi there, 

First off, hugs to you!

Secondly, and I don't speak for anyone else here, but I believe that this is a common emotion for most people when they find out. Hell! I had a mental breakdown while making dinner one night and ended up on my kitchen floor sobbing. 

The most important thing to remember is that this does not define you as a person. You are still just as beautiful, intelligent,funny, and amazing as you were before this diagnosis. 

I encourage you to look up the perspective on YouTube. She has an amazing channel with advice and tips. Watching those videos when I was first diagnosed and looking at this forum really helped me to realize A: I am not alone in this and B: this does not make me "dirty" or make me undeserving of something/someone amazing in my life. 

The BEST thing you can do for you right now is to take care of yourself.  Proper eating, sleeping,exercise and yes, if you need it, telling someone about this. Even if it is a therapist/counciler. 

It's only been a month and a half for me and I still struggle sometimes. 

 

Love yourself and the rest will follow.

 

 

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