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Is this all there is


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i was just diagnosed with genital herpes today, i can relate to a lot of the people I've heard from on this forum. I'm trying to accept all this, but what I'm seeing is living the rest of my life with herpes on my mind. thats all it seems like there is now. everyone is speaking about living with it, growing with it, working with it...i just don't understand, can we not just move past it, is herpes always going to be something i have to wear on my sleeve?


i know its just the first few hours that I've found out about my new condition and i know that things will get better as time passes, but I'm looking for some reassurance that life with herpes doesn't always have to be life with herpes. i need to know that sometimes i can feel normal again. 


i took a very long time for me to better myself and grow to become proud of myself as a productive, kind, and healthy person, that i feel ashamed that i have tainted myself and that know one will ever see the good in me. 

i just don't know what to do. 

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Hi CarryMeOn,

I'm sorry this happened to you.  I can tell you that when it first happened to me, herpes was in my thoughts all day long.  EVERY morning when I woke up, it was the first thing I thought about.  I cried a lot.  I was mourning something I thought I had lost or ruined.

But I can also tell you that now I almost never think about it.  And when I do, it doesn't necessarily turn my stomach or immediately make me sad.  It's still not a good thing, but it no longer haunts me.  Life had given me new and better things things to think about. 

It will take some time.  But if you will keep living life, go through the stages, and keep your head up, things will work out.  You will find someone that loves you, if that's what you want.  And you will have days, then weeks, that you don't even think about it.  And please know that you didn't do anything wrong.  Millions of people do the same thing every day.  We just had a little bad luck, but it's going to be okay! 

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@Maeby and @ST thank you for your words, they mean a lot to me. @WilsoInAus i have been diagnosed with HSV - 2.


since i last wrote, its been a few hours and I've been spending a lot of tie reading on this forum and searching deep inside of me. i think i can do this, at least i can try. i want to be strong and even if I'm feeling weak i would like to give it my all. i hop that i can make this happen. i really want me to be ok. i worry about that now. my world has been flipped upside down; i just want to be ok, and i hope i can be strong enough to reach that without giving up. 

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how long on average does it take to get past the haunting stage?


Hi blistering;

Typically it takes as long as you to educate yourself about what you have.  The more you know about this virus the better you should feel, because medically this isn't a very big deal.  Herpes is mostly a very common, mostly harmless virus.  What helped me most was meeting other Herpsters.  Seeing other, normal people really helped a lot.

I hope to see you in chat again soon!


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Carrymeon,  please keep positive.  The fact of how long it takes and how you deal with it really is a CHOICE.   I'm very happy for you that you have gone inside to consider your feelings...because that's what will bring you from a victim to a Victor of this virus.   Best of luck.

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