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fed up of this shit


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I'm so fed up. I just wanna curl up and preferably die. Not in a suicidal way. I'm just fed up of life. What's the point in all the crap we put ourselves through. I'm a hopeless romantic and feel like love is what makes a life a happy one. I have the most amazing man in my life, he doesn't have herpes. He's nothing but supportive. But since thinking maybe I could have a relationship with him I've had fairly constant outbreaks.  Nothings changed but suddenly I'm constantly feeling uncomfy. I can't imagine how awful it would be if he got this from me. It seems to be a risk hes happy to take but I can't stop thinking about the pain that came with my first outbreak. I really don't wanna cause him that sort of pain. And then I stayed in a miserable relationship for years because I felt trapped. I don't want him to feel trapped! I don't see how i'm meant to live life to the full. I love this guy so much I almost wish he'd run a  mile when I disclosed. I just want a break! I feel a bit like im throwing myself a Pity party. I don't even care. This fucking sucks.

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Are you taking Valtrex or another antiviral? Have you had the constant outbreaks swabbed to confirm that they are outbreaks of HSV as opposed to something else? Your issue seems to be dealing with your symptoms. Resolve that and everything else should start falling into place. First step is to figure out if what you're experiencing is actually caused by HSV. Constant outbreaks... usually aren't.

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No I'm not on any antivirals - I haven't taken any since my first outbreak over three years ago. After my rant it's just clicked that I actually stopped taking the pill so that may well be why I'm having so many issues lately! It's Def hsv though,  type 2, I had a positive swab! It's not proper breakouts at the moment but it really does feel like hsv prodomes type things, I get a bit of redness and the uncomfy feeling is very similar to other obs. It just won't go away for long :( thankyou for replying :)

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    • Damian
      Hi @WhatDidIDo2023, hopefully all is well with you and your significant other and are still together.   Did she develop any other symptoms after you mentioned her getting itchiness? Was it determined what you had was contagious? Most likely developed a fungal disease and caused her a yeast or uti 
    • notsure100
      Been a few weeks it went away but reappeared again tiny red marks not raised spots or anything no pain or itching ,I have had all negative tests on Sti's ..
    • Luna 01
      Well thank you I appreciate it 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Luna 01 I really feel it is worthwhile obtaining a proper Herpeselect test given the outcomes of the home panel test. Regardless, your current symptoms are almost certainly not related to herpes. Hopefully, your doctor can assist in resolving these.
    • Luna 01
      I did notice they stoped selling the one I bought it was a 7 panel test for 7 std but now they got the 6 panel and hsv is not on it but they do collect blood and pee and you send in to a laboratory 
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