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Smoothest Way to Give the Talk


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Definitely start with an accurate description of the types and location of your herpes. State that outside of outbreaks transmission rates are very low. Also discuss the measures you're taking such as antivirals and condoms that halve the risk (each).

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I'm not a fan of smoothing over people.  I think people are smart enough to know when you are trying to pull the wool over them.  I just had a calm but honest conversation with my guy.  I told him what happened, what I had, what the doctor said and I gave him the opportunity ask and say what he wanted to say, even walk if he wanted to.  He was not happy about the news but he was happy that I directly told him.

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my favorite way to do is wait to see if i think the guy is a kind person, one who will hear what i have to say and respond in a compassionate way regardless of how he decides to proceed.  also, i like to tell him outside of the context of us having sex or starting a relationship... like hey this is something about me, this is how i feel about it, etc. if we take it further, then i know it doesn't bother him & the focus isn't right on that. he's had time to think about it, and i'm not waiting for his response. and if we don't take it further, i won't feel rejected because i haven't started anything with him yet. his reaction will tell me a lot about whether or not i even want to take things further. i've had a guy get really disgusting with me (telling me all the things he wanted to do to me sexually but not at all listening to me/caring about who i am; he made me feel like an object and not a person), so i ended it immediately. and i've had a guy ask me how getting herpes made ME feel (as well as some basic stats info on his risk), so i wanted to take things further. lots of people get herpes and think they have to settle for whoever will settle for them, but i don't think that's true at all. be picky! have the talk when you feel safe and good about it. note: i have not been rejected yet (for herpes haha).

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Hi, I think honesty is the best policy...as do most of you on here.  I feel the best way is to approach it in a direct manner...when you are not being physical.  Tell them what you have 1 or 2, and explain to them what that means.  Let them know the statistics on numbers of how common it is and what precautions you are taking.  Then I open it up to questions if they have any.

The first partner I told was absolutely amazing!  He was lloving and supportive and accepted everything I told him openly and graciously.  Unfortunately,  for other reasons we did not continue our relationship.  However,  when a previous partner who I greatly loved reentered my life and I told him...it was terrible.  He was scared, ran, and I never heard from him again.  So, it truly depends on the person receiving, not so much the delivery in my opinion.

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      Hey @JS.245 and welcome to the website. The pictures aren’t that suggestive of herpes. Hard to tell from the pics what’s going on, but that could be a number of things. Are the larger bump bubble things persistent? What you have in the pics is hence independent of your herpes status.  The test results are inclusive - most people test over 5 if they are infected.  Do you have a history of oral cold sores?
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      Hey, just got a STD test a while ago after noticing these showing up at the base of my penis, but its been about 5 months since I was with someone and now these are showing up. It doesn't hurt nor do I have any other symptom that I know of. I'm trying to see what's up before I go to the doctors because I don't have insurance and I'm very anxious about the situation. the std test was expensive as is. 
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      Hi @Anxious 1234 Did you get diagnosis for this?
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