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New to site but not new to Herpes

LovelyLily

By LovelyLily
in Spreading and Preventing Herpes

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LovelyLily Honeycomb Member

LovelyLily

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone

I'm from the uk and have had genital herpes for 20 years. 

I've had several relationships since then (and a child) and so far all has been well both in telling prospective partners and not passing on the virus.

I've been single for 3 years now and met someone casually (we've both admitted we're not looking for a serious relationship) and been out with him on a few dates and things have started to get to a stage where I'd like to sleep with him.  Was planning to meet up with him this weekend and guess what?! An ob :( .....

I have no idea how long it'll be now until ob has gone and it is safe to have sex .... also aware I'm gonna have to have that discussion sooner then I'd hoped.

I'm aware in the past I wasn't very knowledgable on the subject and didn't inform partners either very well (accept tell them I had it)  

So, i'm confused, if someone has oral herpes is the risk reduced of them getting my genital herpes? (just helpful to know in case I find out he suffers from cold sores) 

How long do people wait after an ob before they have sex? Surely condoms help enormously? (I almost wish I hadn't read half of these posts, I had no idea I was still able to pass on my herpes outside of outbreaks - as I said in all these years I've never passed on the virus to anyone that I"m aware of)

Sorry for my ignorance, especially after all these years!

Lily x

 

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JBnATL Platinum Support Member

JBnATL

Posted
Posted

Hi Lily, welcome to the website.

Yes having hsv oral does make it a little harder for someone to get it genital well, but many people do have both (I do).  

This website recommends waiting 7 days after your outbreak has cleared before having sex.

Are you also taking daily antivirals?  They too, like condoms, also reduces the risk of transmission.  Here is a link to a great infographic that talks about transmission rates.  You may want to share this with future partners:

https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf

Good luck!

JB

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