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need serious advice


depressed17

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well here is my story, I am almost 40 gay male. Recently got tested when met a new partner. My results were all clean including HSV2 except in shock for HSV1 being positive. Since I was a kid I would get 1 cold sore per year and had no clue what that meant. My partner's doctor did not test him for HSV since there are no symptoms (yeah, I know). However, me with serious OCD gets this type of news. All, I worry about know how to tell someone and giving them genital herpes. It's ALWAYS on my mind. My partner does not care at all and does not want to get retested. In 3 years we been together we been kissing everyday including twice with a cold sore and he still has not developed any symptoms. He is 55 years old.  Why is that? Now, let's say he does gets GHSV1 what would this means for him? I picture him everyday in my mind with a genitals covered in blisters, sores, and crying, etc What do do? I am drowning in depression over this. Please help.

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Hey depressed, welcome sweetheart, your NOT alone, you now have a new community with knowledge and experience and loads of support. I am married to a non h man for over 26years. It's very possible to have herpes and not pass it. I have Ghsv 2 for almost 30 years, are you saying you just have Ohsv 1 or do you have it genitally too? If you use condoms for oral pleasures, hubby and I never have, that will keep your cold sores from passing during oral pleasures. My initial outbreak was in both vaginal and anus areas, I've never had backdoor sexy times. Just because you have it doesn't mean you automatically pass it. If he knows and comfortable with his own health status, why are you worried honey? My husband tested for me 3 years ago and he was so convinced that he had it, he didn't and I think he was sorta disappointed because he just assumed he'd caught my herpes. We have a running joke my herps loves my body better. I took antivirals the first 25 years with herpes and he stayed negative. I no longer use daily suppression therapies and he's very satisfied. Let me know if I can help. Hugs Aces xo 

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Aces of Hearts or whatever your name is. Instead of going on and on about how herpes is wonderful and la la la la fairy tale of herpes try reading my post more carefully. Not to be rude but it is the fact. Read it and if you have a NORMAL advice then respond. Sorry.

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2 minutes ago, depressed17 said:

Aces of Hearts or whatever your name is. Instead of going on and on about how herpes is wonderful and la la la la fairy tale of herpes try reading my post more carefully. Not to be rude but it is the fact. Read it and if you have a NORMAL advice then respond. Sorry.

Okay I reread it, what have said, what support have I given that you don't want or need? Did I . Miss a question? A simple thank you but NO Thank you bug off would have sufficed.

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The only advice you need is a clip around the ear!

It is really unfortunate that oral HSV-1 plays such a role in society and individual lives.

In the end it simply doesn't matter what happens with such a common virus. Your partner most probably already has it and hence is at no further risk. Has he checked for HSV-2?

Your OCD is not relevant to HSV.

If your partner becomes infected, then most likely he would have probably a bad outbreak that would last a couple of weeks and then most likely nothing or very infrequent outbreaks of a tiny sore every year or so.

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9 hours ago, depressed17 said:

if you read it you would know that it is HSV1 Cold sores

 

I understood that and I asked if you had it genitally too? Forget it I'm done!!!! Plenty other members need and want my support so good luck to you. Acesheart 

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Respect your partner's choice. If you can't live with the risk of transmission (and you should have an idea now after 3 years of what that risk is), then maybe you could use a dental dam, a condom, or just become celibate.

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    • WilsoInAus
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    • WilsoInAus
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