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first outbreak right after having sex with new boyfriend


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So I met the most wonderful man.  And then after our first sexual encounter , I have my first break out.  I told him right away and now he is keeping his distance.  He has started to text and ask some questions and even says he doesn't blame me.  Yet he never asks to meet me.  Do I give him space?  Or do I keep encouraging him to talk to me.  I am wondering if there is any chance in hell he will want to continue our relationship.  It was only 2 weeks old so maybe he just feels there wasn't much an investment in feelings.  Also, do you think there is a high probability he will get this?

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Hello amt, welcome to the site.  You don't say how long after the encounter you had the outbreak, but if you didn't notice anything unusual before sex, he will probably not contract the virus.  If I were you, I would give him the space he needs to either think things over or do some research.  In the meantime, do reach out to him once and confirm how much you like him and enjoy the relationship and then see what happens. You never know.  If in the end, he is not ok with it, hopefully you two can still be friends.  

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Hi amt1036

Did u know that you have herpes before having sex with him? in the other hand if you did not have herpes before he could be the one who gave it to you. I got a symptom less than 48 hours after I had sex with this guy who gave herpes to me. 

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I noticed a sore 2days after relations with him.  He did get tested and is negative and I don't want to break the news to him that it's probably to early to show in blood work.  He is so happy and of course is saying good riddance to me. 

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@amt1036 did you have a swab of the sore, what type did it come back as?

I agree with above though, if this is your first ever outbreak then he probably gave you herpes. This could be type 1 from oral sex for example. It might be good for you to also have a blood test straight away to confirm your baseline.

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He is negative right now.  Swab of mine came back positive and so did bloodwork. I am just wondering how bad this transfers. I woke up Sunday after a night of passion and had fever blisters.  And on Monday I noticed sore down below. I have been really run down which is why I got fever blisters but I guess that's why I finally had the outbreak of herpes 2.  My last boyfriend, a year ago broke my heart by disappearing.  Now I know why.  But really wondering if there is a hig chance of my jerk of a boyfriend getting it. He was tested 3 days after exposure and told negative and he is thrilled and gone.  But kinda wondering....

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If you tested positive in a blood test as well as a swab that could mean you did have it prior to being with him since it can take your immune system up to 4 months to create the antibodies the blood tests look for.  

Here are a couple of links  you can share with him on transmission risks.  He should feel better after reading them:



In regards to the herpes dating websites, they are no different than any other dating site.  A lot of guys on those sites (both herpster and nonherpster) are just looking for sex, but there are good guys out there.  You just have to have a set of standards and don't deviate from them.

Good luck!


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