a newbie to the H world

[northwestHman]

greetings, all! I had unprotected sex with a lady several weeks ago (she had her tubes tied, and I was previously celibate for over four years), and was going to start a new relationship so I decided to get the whole range of testing well, just received a call from my doctor's office (last Friday) that I have herpes; of course, I was stunned. I plan to meet with my doctor tomorrow; of course, I immediately went online and started reading like crazy. My range of emotions mostly stayed in the depressed range. ):  But I remain hopeful and fairly positive. Of course, after much struggle, I told my new partner I have herpes; to my surprise, she was supportive. We planned a trip, and I fully expected her to cancel; but she still wanted to go! I was lifted! Well, I have so many questions to my H friends in our struggle, but let's start with just a few for now: I have HSV-2, so can we still kiss? Can I give her oral sex? How long after my initial OB can we have safer sex (condoms, antivirals)?  Thanks to all.

[Mellisuga]

Why would kissing be a concern? You have HSV2 on your genitals, right? No chance of passing HSV2 on by kissing or oral.

Do you get cold sores (HSV 1) on your lips? In that case, avoid kissing or oral when you have an outbreak. That's it!

 

You are most infectious when you are newly infected. Use a condom, and don't have sex when you have an outbreak. I think when the OB has healed, you are fine, but check with a doctor or the others on this website.

 

Good luck! Keep the positive attitude!

[northwestHman]

wow! Thanks mucho, Mellisuga! What a knowledgeable and fine group of folks in this forum! I am lifted. And my new lady-friend will be happy! No cold sores on my lips, so I am good to go for the kissing and the oral!

[WilsoInAus]

I would certainly get in to the doctor and get all the details.

First thing to note that if you actually do have a strong IgG positive for HSV-2, then the lady of a few weeks ago did not give it to you!

Most importantly though you need to confirm that you have HSV-2. This is only done with a HSV-2 IgG result in excess of 3.5. Any other test such as IgM is to be ignored.

Have you ever had genital symptoms?

[northwestHman]

Thanks, WilsonInAus,

I will ask my doctor, for sure, about the tests (took my blood for the tests); I haven't seen the results. so, a strong IgG positive (could you give me the layperson summary of that, please) means I have had HSV-2 for several years? I will tell the lady of a few weeks back to get tested, and those tests should determine who had HSV-2 the longest? I am confident she did not know she had HSV-2. I will keep an open-mind as to whom gave it to whom, but my symptoms seem to be consistent with her as the transmitter: within hours, my lymph-nodes were swollen (and another advance member said that was because the body was kicking into fighting mode with anti-bodies); I dismissed it as a mild cold that I caught from her (and I had a very soft headache--a dullness in my head). Then, about five days later I had this crazy tingling, then itchiness along both inner thighs, down to my calves, and there were about a half-dozen small red-spots, both legs. Again, I dismissed that.  I have never had that type of crazy itchiness.

 

 

[WilsoInAus]

You aren't really describing herpes symptoms. In most cases if you were just recently infected with herpes, then you'd have had lesions at the point where virus entered the body and not outside the genital area as marked out by a pair of boxer shorts. Anything outside that area is not related to genital herpes.

99% of the time cold/flu symptoms are just that, a cold or flu virus.

Why do you even suspect this lady has HSV-2? Do not approach her on this topic until everything is confirmed one way or the other for you.

A strong positive is one that is in excess of 3.5 on a Herpeselect test for HSV-2 antibodies. The index is a ratio of 'antibody density' to a cutoff sample that is deemed 1. The index of 1 is actually very low and perhaps the manufacturers would have had a higher cutoff or broader equivocal range knowing what they know now.

[northwestHman]

Wilson, good advice. Is it then possible that I have the HSV-1? I did not get any cold-sores outside my mouth area, so is it possible I had cold sores on the inside of my mouth? I did not have any lesions on my genitalia, or near that "boxer short" range. But I did have pimples on my behind; could those have been the HSV2? When the doctor's staff called, all she said was that I tested positive for antibodies to the herpes virus, and that I should call Monday (tomorrow) and come in an talk to the doctor. She just said, "you have Herpes."

[WilsoInAus]

I thought it might have been a 'you have herpes' comment. This may mean an oral HSV-1 infection! Roughly half of people with this virus do not have knowledge of oral outbreaks.

So mjore questions than answers at this point and no reason to be thinking genital herpes.

[northwestHman]

wow, thanks Wilson. you are a very good source of knowledge, as most of the senior members here. Ok, now I will shift my reading to the HSV-1, and just see what the doc tells me tomorrow. thanks again.

[WilsoInAus]

Good luck, we'll look forward to the news and help out with interpretation if you need it.