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I was diagnosed 2 years ago during my last relationship. To my luck I have always been very careful and not that quick to jump into sex, unless I am in a committed long term relationship. Sadly, my ex apparently did not share my thoughts and I'm almost sure cheated on me and that's how I ended up with the virus. I stigmatized myself, felt dirty and my dream of getting married and having a family or ever engaging in sex again, was more distant than ever before. How could I even dare to dream of this or try to get this when now I feel like the monster with cooties? I met a guy now who no matter how much I tried to avoid, was persistent and I can't deny that I really like him, A LOT. How can I tell him? What do I tell him? When do I tell him?

He has seen me and is aware that I get cold sores and he did not care. I have tried to tell him in different occasions but he tells me " I don't want to know your past, I know if you had something you would have taken care of it" I still want to tell him because regardless of this being past of my past, it is unfortunately still in my present and sadly will be part of my future too :( 

I just don't know how to tell him, what to tell him, when to tell him. I feel like the monster with cooties, how would he see me? I find myself hoping he also has the virus from a previous relationship, just so I have a better chance of not being rejected or ashamed, but realize this is just wishful thinking and might not be the case :(  Is it better to continue to be single and miserable because I have the virus? Or risk the rejection and heartache?  

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You don't mention it but I assume you have it genital too.  If so, and he already knows you have it oral then just tell him that you also have the virus other parts of your body.  Make sure he knows what causes cold sores and tell him if he does not.  

Has he ever been tested?  Perhaps you could suggest that you both get tested to make sure neither of you has something you don't already know about.

How you tell him is as important as what you say.  If you make it into no big deal, which it isn't, he should feel the same.

Good luck!


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